A Special Kind of Awesome

[00:00:00] Foreign. [00:00:05] Hi there. It's Tracy. And welcome back to flirting after 40. [00:00:10] So last week, you know, I don't know if I. I've been telling you guys, but work is my real. My real. My real job has been a little difficult lately. Not difficult, just I've been very unmotivated, and that's hard for me. It's really hard for me to not be passionate about what I'm doing, because I really lean in and try to give whatever I'm doing my all. That goes to dating, it goes to work, it goes to this. [00:00:48] And I was just feeling very uninspired and very flat. And I was talking to my business partner about that a little bit about how. And she was feeling it too. We're like, we're busy. [00:01:01] It's good. But we. What. What next? [00:01:06] And we had just interviewed. Well, we had interviewed, like, about six weeks ago for this job that we both really, really wanted. Um, it's an amazing cause, and it's here in Denver. [00:01:19] And was just. We both hung up. Hung up from the interview and felt like, this is perfect. We are. We are meant for this work. We are. This is. It went good. We are excited. [00:01:34] We get along with the people that would be our client. [00:01:39] Um, and then six weeks went by, and we felt kind of like the naggy ex or the naggy girlfriend. Like, come hang out with me. What's going on? Like, please tell us. We got it. And, like, we felt like we were a little pest, you know, pestering them and decided to lay off because, you know, like, well, maybe they don't like us. And it's hard to tell people you don't like them. [00:02:09] So we just had assumed, okay, we. [00:02:12] We're not getting it. We didn't get it. [00:02:14] And I think really impacted us and that. That when you want something so badly and it doesn't happen, how it. How it changes your mood. [00:02:31] But this is a happy story because last Friday we received a call that we wanted. [00:02:38] And not only did. I mean, we. Not only are they great people, it's a great cause, but, like, that feeling that we had of, like, we've got this. [00:02:49] It was real, you know, that feeling of, we are meant for this. It was real. [00:02:55] And that is. [00:03:03] Yeah, that was just such a. [00:03:06] God, it was such a win. It's such a high. [00:03:11] And the client said to my business partner, he said, you guys are a special kind of awesome. [00:03:22] Oh, my gosh. Like, I don't know that, like, what a compliment. [00:03:31] A special kind of awesome. I mean, I'm making that into a card. I've told her that. But like, so I wanted everybody to know that sometimes things take a while and sometimes when you think there's bad news coming, you're wrong. [00:03:54] I'm glad we were wrong. [00:03:57] Gotta celebrate the wins because they don't come often enough. [00:04:01] So we did, we celebrated last Friday and I think we are going to continue to celebrate for the next month because we're just so excited. [00:04:10] So anyways, moving on. I, I, I think you guys have probably seen there's a new show out on Netflix. Age is just a number. [00:04:24] I definitely have opinions on this. [00:04:26] I'm sure you guys have opinions on this. [00:04:31] Like, what is too big of an age gap? What is. Okay, so I went down a rabbit hole and did some research and because I was like, okay, I mean, can this be successful? Because this show is about love and about connecting with, without the pressures of, of age and without, you know, like somebody, if you met somebody and they said, you know, if, if I met someone, I'm going to use myself as an example. And they were 22 and I'm 46, I'm gonna say, oh fuck no, I'm not going out with you. Like, there's no way in the world that this could happen. [00:05:13] And it's just this preconceived thought I have that, that, that he's going to be mature or he's going to want kids and I have kids and I don't want kids or he's not responsible because he's 22 or he's going to want to party. I mean these are just things that I fill in the gaps that could be wrong or right. Like who knows who this person is. So I like the, the context of the show of like we're just going to get to know each other and, and I'm not going to tell you how old I am because I wouldn't probably go out with a 22 year old. [00:05:52] But my research, it says couples who are close at age between like one and three years tend to have the highest success rate of a relationship, of a relationship being successful. [00:06:01] And then as the age rate age gap changes, so does. I'm like trying to say that as the age gap increases, the likelihood of a relationship sustaining itself decreases. [00:06:20] So a five year age gap, let me pull this up because I want to tell you exactly what, what it was. But a five year age gap was about 18% higher chance of separation. [00:06:35] A 10 year age gap jumps to 39% and a 20 year age gap has a 95% chance of separation 20 years, 95%. [00:06:48] Okay. If. If you are in a relationship and there's a 20 year age gap, I want to hear about it. [00:06:55] The most I've ever done. The most. The biggest age gap I've ever had was 14 years. [00:07:00] And I was in college and I dated this, this guy who was 14 years older than me. And our lives were so different. I mean, I was a 22 year old college student. [00:07:13] He had a daughter, a house, a dog. [00:07:17] But there was something so intriguing about this. At that age, at. I was probably 22, like, it felt like I was playing house and I wanted that. Like, how weird, how weird is it to be like I was 22 and I was like, I wanted that. I wanted the house and the kid and the dog and the, the things I was supposed to do. Like, why the fuck was I, like, not out? I mean, I was still out having fun in college. But why did I allow my like, self to get sucked into this daydream with him? [00:07:54] Um, I mean, I remember I like painted like a bedroom for him or something. Like, what was I doing? [00:08:03] It did not work out. [00:08:05] And I think it didn't work out for a bunch of reasons. And I know my parents were freaked the fuck out that I was dating somebody that was 14 years older than me. [00:08:16] I've still like, I've tried to look him up. I can't find him because you guys know I'm like that stalker girl. But I, yeah, that was the oldest for me. I've also. My ex husband was 10 years older than me. That one I don't think I had any issues with. [00:08:36] I think if anything, he had more issues with it than I did. Like we both liked the same things, the same music, the same sports. Like, he looked younger. He doesn't look 10 years older than me. He doesn't act 10 years older than me. [00:08:52] I think for him it was like when we had kids because he was 40 and then 44 when we had our kids. I mean, I am 46 right now. I cannot imagine. And I know it's different for women and men, but I cannot imagine having children when I'm in my 40s because, I mean, I'm just so tired. I can't imagine having the energy that I had when I was in my 30s to deal with it. [00:09:24] So anyways, in this, in this show and turn it off if you guys don't want any spoilers, I'm just, I'm not gonna. I'm only through like, I think two or three episodes, but there's an adorable couple. This woman is older, and this guy is. I think he's like, 27. [00:09:42] And she. Or he might be. I don't know. I can't remember exactly their age gap. I didn't write it down. But she was 54, and he is substantially younger than her. [00:09:52] Where I think it's, like, close to her kids. Eight kids is age. [00:09:56] But he is just so cute, and he is into older women. And I don't know, I think that could be a kink thing, too, but I'm not judging him. I just think it's. I think they're really cute. I like that. [00:10:11] And then the. The one that I like, like, I had to write down the age difference because I was like, holy shit, she is 27. [00:10:24] And she thought he was, like, in his 30s, maybe early 40s. [00:10:31] He is 60 years old. [00:10:34] Okay, like that. [00:10:37] 33 years. [00:10:40] I. The age gap is bigger than, like, how. How long she's been alive. [00:10:49] Like, I can't. I can't. And this guy looks great. He does not look like. I mean, okay, he looks older. So for the fact that she's like, I thought you were 30. No, no, he. He definitely looks older. But 60. [00:11:02] I mean, 60, I can't imagine that. [00:11:08] Like, and then I can't imagine, like, what your life is going to be like. I got to do math. But 45, 55, 65, 75. [00:11:15] Like, I can't imagine right now dating someone that is close to 80, that's older than my parents. Like, I can't. How is that going to be successful? Like. And I do. I do really want to cheer for this. This idea that love can carry us through these age gaps, that love can make it, like, can. Can survive. [00:11:39] But I just. I cannot. I can't. I can't get on board with 27 and 60. [00:11:47] I can't think of, like, I don't know, is it a kink thing? Is it. I mean, I don't think she's after him for money or anything like that. Like, because that's what I always assume with younger women, older men. Like, oh, she's after him for his money, and he's gonna die and she's gonna get all this money. [00:12:06] But, yeah, I don't. I don't see that for this. [00:12:12] I don't know if you guys are. [00:12:15] If you've ever had a relationship with a huge age gap, I would love. I would love to hear about it. [00:12:24] You know, I've never dated anybody younger. [00:12:27] I've dated some people that are my Age, but I've never dated anybody younger. [00:12:34] And yeah, I just, I don't know how that would work. [00:12:42] Around this topic. [00:12:44] There, there's a story with J, man, we were traveling or something, and I don't know what we were talking about, but he was like, the spinster dance. [00:12:58] Think we're talking like prom and things like that. I'm like, the spinster dance? [00:13:03] What the fuck is a spinster dance? And he's like, oh, like, where the women ask or the girls ask the boys to the dance. [00:13:11] And I'm like. And it's, I'm like, that's like a Sadie Hawkins. And he's like, no, it's the spinster dance. And I had to look this up because I was like, what the hell are you talking about? [00:13:24] It is, it's based in Sioux Falls, and it's a long running high school event originating in 1930s where the, the girls asked the boys to this dance. And I'm like, what a shitty fucking name for that. A spinster dance. And he was like, why is that shitty? And I'm like, a spinster is known as, like, it's a derogatory term. Like an older unmarried woman with a bunch of cats. [00:13:57] Old maid. Let's call it the old maid dance. I mean, I don't know how this. [00:14:03] And it was just fascinating because he had never thought that it was derogatory. [00:14:08] And I'm like, it absolutely is. [00:14:12] It absolutely is. [00:14:16] Sadie Hawkins is not. [00:14:20] Yeah. So I, I, I don't know why, like, the age thing got me thinking about it. Maybe it's just like gender roles and, and, and things like that. But I had written down spinster dance, like, a long time ago, and I was like, oh, my God, I can't. And I can't believe they, they, they still call it that. [00:14:40] Okay, that's my rant for Sioux Falls. [00:14:44] I just don't. [00:14:52] All right, well, I, I know we're a little, this is a little short, this, this today, but I do have some funnies for you guys that I want to share. And, and it's not about age. [00:15:08] Now, I, I don't know if this, like, profile is a joke, because this kind of feels like, it kind of feels like a joke, but it's so horrifying that I'm not sure. [00:15:27] This man lives in Michigan. This is not somebody I clicked on or anything like this. It was just something that was shared. [00:15:34] It's so derogatory. It's so horrible. [00:15:40] No lgbtq, HIV positive pedo groomers. No annoying, loud ass Blacks, no fatties, no dumb whores looking for a free meal because I'm not paying anyways. Lol. My only requirement. [00:16:01] Sorry. My only requirements. Those were his only requirements. [00:16:05] Pass these and your wife material. [00:16:08] Especially, like, Especially if you like making funny memes of said above. So if. If you like making fun of people. Like, this is so horrible. [00:16:16] Remember, ladies, the wall is real. And each month is one step closer to spending the rest of your life as an empty egg carton. [00:16:26] Loser wine ant that smells like condensed crystallized cat piss. [00:16:34] Wow. [00:16:35] Wow. If this man is real, like, who hurt you? Like, what. What is h. How. [00:16:44] How do you even function in society? And how do you have any friends? How do you have. [00:16:50] But I know there's people that think like this. That is just so fucking horrifying to me, and I. [00:16:57] And then to publicly put it out there. [00:17:02] Go fuck yourself, dude. That's so horrible. All right, this one's funny. [00:17:12] If the idea of a prenup turns you off, then swipe left. [00:17:16] Can't believe it's happened so much that I have to write it. So many think they're entitled to what's mine. No children. Don't want any, but okay, if you have them. I have three cars building in another. They all have names. [00:17:31] Again, like, I, I, I mean, prenups, not prenups. That doesn't bother me. But, like, in a dating profile. And, like, it's so, like, it just. [00:17:51] That one, to me, just sits poorly. [00:17:56] And again, what is it with men and their cars and their dating profiles? Women, Women. I'm sorry. I don't care if you have three cars. I think a lot of women don't care. But, like, it's like, I have money. I have money, and it's. You're never gonna have any of it. Like, do women. [00:18:17] I mean, do women really. I mean, I'm sure there are women that date for money, and I'm sure there are men that date for money. I know this happens, but to have to put it in your dating profile, Like, I also. I want to know the story. I want to know. I want to know. Maybe I should reach out to him. Like, why did you. Have you had women that are, like, on date too? Like, give me all your money. I mean. [00:18:42] Or have you been engaged 20 times and none of them want to sign a prenup? Like, what is. What is the story behind that? [00:18:50] I don't know. [00:18:51] Fucking horrible profiles. [00:18:55] One more thing I thought about that I think is really funny. And we're going to end this on a Cute note is that my son, who is the one that was dating this girl. And anyways, they broke up. I think I might have told you guys, but they split and it's. Anyways, it's middle school, back and forth, but I was talking to. There was a bunch of boys in my car. I think I was driving to the basketball. [00:19:25] My. My youngest son said, oh, my God, I heard this sixth grader is dating an eighth grader. And the older boys freaked out. And they were like, no way. [00:19:35] No, like, and whatever slang they're using, but like, they're like, that's ridiculous. No. No sixth grader should ever be dating eighth grader. And they like, they were like, oh, my God, we have to figure out who this is. And like, why would this happen? [00:19:50] I thought it was so fascinating that they were horrified. [00:19:54] Horrified that an eighth grader would date a sixth grader. And I mean, we're talking two years. And it's just so funny that at that age, how. How huge an age gap can be versus now in our lives. [00:20:13] Like 10 years. Like 10 years. I'm like, 10 years seems fine. You know, 10 years is a long time. I was in elementary school. You were graduating high school. Like, when you look at it like that, that feels like a big difference. So anyways, I just. I thought it was super cute that they were like, horrified sixth and eighth grader were dating and whatever dating is in sixth grade. So. [00:20:38] Well, thanks you guys for listening, as always. I appreciate it, and I hope you have an amazing week.