Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:05] Hi there. Welcome back to flirting after 40.
[00:00:08] This is Tracy, and I am sorry, you guys. I normally record on Wednesdays launch on Thursday mornings. It's now Thursday morning and I'm a little late, but better late than never. I, Yesterday was fine. I just, by the time the day had ended, I was so tired and I had my. I think I told you guys, my mom was coming into town for Mother's Day, and I had had the kids for, you know, all five days, and my mom here for five days. And it was the first time I had quiet in my house. So I just enjoyed the quiet.
[00:00:47] Um, and, you know, I feel sorry for those that.
[00:00:55] Well, I don't know. Sorry is not the right word, but I, I really enjoy having my house to myself and the idea of going back to having someone living with me like a partner and them being there all the time. I don't know, I don't know if I could do it.
[00:01:13] So my mom was even saying, she was like, it's so my dad, my, my dad's health is not great, and he is very reliant on my mom. And she was saying that she hasn't slept in their bed by herself since they moved into that house, which has been, I don't know, since my kids were born, like, 13 years.
[00:01:43] And you know, she was saying, though, the only time she slept in her bed or their bed by herself, he was in the hospital.
[00:01:53] And like, that's not like a relaxing time. Like, you know, you're worried you're stressed out. Like, she's like, it would be so, like, not, not wishing anything bad, but, you know, just that it would be really nice to have quiet and have my house to myself.
[00:02:13] I cannot imagine not.
[00:02:16] So I was like, yeah, I totally agree that that's a lot. So anyways, yeah, I just kind of took it easy yesterday and didn't record.
[00:02:28] So I hope everybody had a great Mother's Day.
[00:02:31] I, I, it was fine, my Mother's Day. I mean, I loved having my mom in town.
[00:02:39] We went and bought flowers and I planted a bunch of flowers, and me and her just, like, we hung out the whole week she was here.
[00:02:49] Spent Mother's Day at home with my kids, and yeah, it's. But you know how I was saying that, like, it's really up to the dads and the husbands to step up on Mother's Day. And I don't know, I, I just, like, when did, and maybe we don't have a low. Like, when, when did we allow the bar to be low? I don't know. And I do, I do think if I was married still, it would be different.
[00:03:24] I mean, J Man dropped off flowers and a card and wine for me for Mother's Day. Like, that was so unnecessarily sweet. He's very thoughtful.
[00:03:37] And the card was funny. It was like mom juice joking, you know, that the mom juice is wine.
[00:03:43] A really thoughtful card about what a good mom I am. And that was so nice. And you know, my mom, like, I gave her a gift she got me. She gave me.
[00:03:57] It's a pot, it's a plant pot. It's for African violets that my grandmother made.
[00:04:05] And like, that's so sweet. And a nice card. And you know, it's, I don't know, like, so I'll tell the story because I have to.
[00:04:20] My ex husband was like, hey, we always, he always like, brings food, a meal, which is awesome.
[00:04:28] And he was like, let me know, like for days, days, days ahead. Like, if you want breakfast, lunch, dinner. And I know grandma's in town, so we'll go big. Like, anything you guys want, you just let me know.
[00:04:41] And you know. So I talked to my mom and asked, like, what do you want? And we decided on breakfast. And, and we, I normally get breakfast from him, but I normally get like bagels because he knows I like bagels and he gets the kid kids McDonald's, but it's not anything.
[00:04:57] It's fine, you know, it's. But, but he had said, I'll go big and whatever you guys want. And he said it multiple times. So there's this restaurant in town called Toast, and it's really good.
[00:05:12] And so my mom looked at the menu, we looked at the menu and the kids picked their food they want. Like, so I sent him the full order. Like, and it, and, and it wasn't even, like, it's not like it was like a lot of money. It was just like a side of avocado toast, some bacon. The kids wanted pancakes, French toast. Okay, that was it.
[00:05:30] Send it. I said, I text him the order and he's like, okay, thanks.
[00:05:37] And then, you know, I send him the website.
[00:05:41] Like, you might be able to order online. Like, I, I, I, I don't know how much easier I can make it except placing the order myself.
[00:05:48] So then I, I don't know, one of the orders changed from an avocado toast to a French toast. So I send a, a text update and I'm like, okay, scrap one avocado toast. Just swap it out for French toast.
[00:06:02] And then he's like, can you please resend me the full order?
[00:06:07] And I'm like, bro, it's like, it's not hard. You just delete one avocado toast and you add one French toast.
[00:06:15] So I, like, copy and paste it again, type in French toast is. And I'm like, God damn it. Like, this is not hard. Why am I, why am I doing this? Like, why do I have to do this?
[00:06:29] And then it's, It's Saturday night. And he's like, oh, hey, Trace, it doesn't look like I can order online.
[00:06:41] Are you seeing the same thing I am?
[00:06:44] I don't know. I'm not trying to order the fucking food. So let me get online and see if I can order the goddamn food.
[00:06:54] Yep. It doesn't look like you can order. They must not. They must not have online orders for Mother's Day. You must have to. You might just have to call or go in.
[00:07:05] And so, because you can't order online, and I know he's not gonna call or go in, I'm like, dude, just fucking get bagels then at McDonald's.
[00:07:19] And then he writes, well, that's boring.
[00:07:24] And I'm like, I don't know what you want from me. Like, I will.
[00:07:29] We don't need the big fancy breakfast. We can do what you always do because you can't order online. And I know you are not going to go to the, to the, to the restaurant or call them. Like, I don't know. And now you're like, well, that's boring.
[00:07:47] I, I, I have no words. I have no words.
[00:07:51] So we ended up with bagels and McDonald's.
[00:07:59] And he was nice. He brought us some peach Bellini drink.
[00:08:09] It was fine. It was nice, but it's just a little disappointing.
[00:08:17] And he came in with this air of, I'm so good. Look at me.
[00:08:27] I did all this, and it just makes me sad.
[00:08:35] And I really don't want my boys to see that and think that that's enough.
[00:08:41] I mean, my oldest, I feel like my oldest is like that a little bit. Like, my little one, he gave me the sweetest gift. It's this little crocheted planter with a plant, a daisy, and it says, remember I love you, Mom.
[00:08:55] And he was so excited to give it to me, and it was so sweet. And he wrapped it himself.
[00:09:01] And, like, I, I was so happy with that. My oldest didn't do anything and then tried to take credit or like, well, we got you a gift.
[00:09:13] I'm like, paxton got me a gift. Oh, well, that's from both of us.
[00:09:17] Like, I don't know where I up, but like, they need to be better and I. I have to work on that. And I have to tell them when I. Things are unacceptable. And it's very hard because I don't want to hurt their feelings either. But that's the shit that as women, I think we do, we don't want to hurt their feelings, so we don't say anything.
[00:09:43] And like, even at work this week, something very similar happened. I had issued, it's called a request for proposal. And there's just, there's dates in there.
[00:09:58] And it's like, here's, here's when it's due. Here's when questions are due. Like, it's pretty. It's pretty basic. There's like six dates, okay?
[00:10:08] We change the date to when the proposal is due and when questions are due. We changed two dates and I had a guy write back to me and say, hey, I know you changed the dates. Are you going to reissue the RFP with the new dates? So we. So we know what we're doing.
[00:10:34] And I'm like, like, I sat on it for a day, cuz I was like, are you kidding me? Like, in the email are the dates and just because the document doesn't have the updated dates, you're confused and you need me to update the document for you.
[00:10:54] Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
[00:10:59] And I.
[00:11:01] That's what I wanted to say. Like, you're a big boy. You could do this yourself.
[00:11:07] But I was like, okay, so, because I'm the. A little bit, I. I opened my document and I changed the date in my document and then I did a screenshot for him, but I didn't resend the document.
[00:11:24] Dude, grow a, like, grow a pair.
[00:11:27] I don't know. It's so.
[00:11:33] I. Sorry, I did not mean this to be a male bashing episode because, like, my, my son was sweet. J Man was sweet. Like, there is good and there are good men. And I know some of you guys, like, have the men that like, did the things or let you do whatever you wanted. Let you do. See? Oh my God. Anyways, I hope everybody had a great Mother's Day.
[00:12:05] Oh, I forgot one thing.
[00:12:09] Okay, so this was just like the icing and I ended up crying because.
[00:12:15] Anyways, so I don't want to cook. It's Mother's Day. My mom loves Outback Steakhouse. Loves it. Love, love, love, love.
[00:12:23] My son likes it.
[00:12:26] So we ordered Outback and me and my mom both, both ordered the Six ounce filet.
[00:12:32] Well, okay, it comes and like, I pick up the box. I'm like, where are the steaks? Oh, they were in there. But like, my steak was seriously the size of like half of my palm.
[00:12:47] It was so little and so skinny and so sad looking that I like, again, I was, I was just in a mood. I broke out my scale. I have a little like food scale and put it on there. It was, I think 3.2 ounces.
[00:13:06] Okay.
[00:13:08] Like, and I'm not, like, I don't need, I don't eat a ton. I don't need a six ounce steak. But if you're selling me a six ounce steak and it's fucking Mother's Day, like, for the love of God, you know, you know, the moms are ordering their own food. Like, can you just make it good? Can you just give us what we ordered? And then like my steak, I ordered it medium and it was like, well done and just disgust, like, I couldn't eat it. It was so disgusting. So I like filed for two refunds on the order. My mom's steak was like four ounces. Like, I just, it was just a day of disappointment. Okay, so I'm done talking about Mother's Day, but what the.
[00:13:59] So sorry, you guys. Quite a tangent.
[00:14:03] So dating updates. Nothing spectacular to report.
[00:14:09] I'm kind of in the space where.
[00:14:12] And it might be because I'm dating J man that I don't want to date. You know, when. When you have something, you don't want it. When you don't have it, you want it. I, like, I'm. And I think I said this before, I'm in the space where I just want to like, work on myself. I want to work on these business ideas I have. I want to work on, like, I want to work out. I want to sit outside and read a book.
[00:14:40] It sounds really bad to say that. That.
[00:14:44] And I don't know if that's just the phase of life I'm in right now or if that's that I'm not overly, like invested in this relationship I'm in.
[00:14:57] I don't, I don't know what it is, but I, I'm just kind of impartial. My son, I told you guys made the basketball team for the summer. Freshman group. And they have like 18 games between now and the. In the middle of June. Like, all I'm going to be doing is sports and I don't know. So I'm just kind of the same. Like, he's the sweetest person. He is so Thoughtful and so nice. And I feel like a fucking bitch for saying, like, I would rather I want to work on my businesses instead of, like, hanging out all day.
[00:15:46] I don't know, maybe that's also just what, like, life looks like when you're 46, you know? Like, I thought I was doing this podcast to talk about dating and to find somebody, and then I find somebody, and now I think it's about talking about who we are when we're this age and what life is like and sharing in the challenges. And it's not even so much about dating and relationships. I don't know. I.
[00:16:18] I think there's a lot of ebbs and flows in our lives that we don't anticipate and don't expect. And I. I wasn't prepared for that. So I don't know.
[00:16:34] We are going to. We are planning a trip.
[00:16:38] We'll see how that goes. We are planning a trip at the end of June, so just three nights away.
[00:16:48] So hopefully that goes well because our last trip didn't.
[00:16:57] Yeah.
[00:17:00] So I'm sorry, guys. Nothing, nothing super exciting to gossip with you guys about.
[00:17:08] All right, so I do have some funnies for you guys. There are cringy. I don't know.
[00:17:18] All right, this guy, Todd, he's 50.
[00:17:24] My God, ladies, get a grip. Be real.
[00:17:27] You're over 35, still single, and not looking for a hookup, but already hooked up with 25 others. Really?
[00:17:35] Personality comes through in most of your intros as selfish, self centered, lonely, and cats.
[00:17:43] But somehow your pictures say I'm 25 with hobbies, a job and kids. Filters, filters, filters. But he was the narcissist we know. Lol. I love women. Women love me. But I hate when I start talking. But hate when I start talking. Hope you have a sense of humor. It will help a lot. Be feminine, please. Lol.
[00:18:07] Okay. There's so much in here to unpack. Um, okay. He's 50.
[00:18:11] So he's saying, you know, he's definitely talking to women that are 35.
[00:18:17] You're over 35, still single and not looking for a hookup, but already hooked up with like 25 others. Really?
[00:18:23] Remember back when I've talked. I mean, I've talked about this several times about how women are being shamed for how many people they've hooked up with.
[00:18:33] And 25 is like, if you're 35 and you've hooked up with 25 people, like, let's say you started. I mean, like, Matt, I have to do math, but that is not a lot like, bro here, he's 50. He's probably banged, you know, 300 chicks. Like, but we're supposed to feel bad about this?
[00:18:54] Yeah. Not. Not sure. Sorry, Todd.
[00:19:01] Gross. Just gross.
[00:19:07] This guy. This may be one of the worst, worst I've ever seen.
[00:19:13] Well, not like.
[00:19:14] Well, let's go.
[00:19:18] It's a question.
[00:19:20] Hinge has questions. Do you agree or disagree? That, and his answer is, your dress code at home should be lingerie or less.
[00:19:29] Maybe sometimes outside of the home as well.
[00:19:34] You want me sitting at home in lingerie waiting for you?
[00:19:40] Yeah, he gets a go fuck yourself, too.
[00:19:43] And then the way to win me over, because, yeah, we really want to win you over, Jude, is to be and remain healthy and thin.
[00:19:56] What is considered normal for the rest of the world is somehow considered ultra skinny in the.
[00:20:03] In the US so please be less.
[00:20:08] Be less than 2 pounds per inch of your height. Easy peasy.
[00:20:15] All right, guys, let's break out the calculators, because who doesn't like a good math equation? So I'm five foot.
[00:20:25] That's 60. That's 60 inches. Let's say I'm five foot one. Okay, we got 61.
[00:20:33] So 61 times two, you know, I should be able to do this in my head, is 122 pounds.
[00:20:41] I'm a tiny person.
[00:20:43] Like, I'm. I'm short and I'm small, and If I weighed 122 pounds, like, I would blow away in the wind.
[00:20:52] Like, and who are you to fucking give a math equation for a woman's weight? Easy peasy. Just like, I want to be, like, go. Oh, my God. It makes me.
[00:21:05] Sorry.
[00:21:07] I haven't even been drinking. It's nine o' clock in the morning, you guys. It makes me so irate.
[00:21:12] Like, the audacity of someone to put this in their dating profile, like, makes me sad for all women everywhere, because this is the shit that men do that men think they're entitled to, that men think they're entitled to tell us what we should weigh to be worthy of dating him.
[00:21:40] Holy fuck.
[00:21:44] God. I. Oh.
[00:21:46] Anyways, okay, I'm off my. I'm off my soapbox. I'm back. I just.
[00:21:54] I just can't. I can't with that. And I know not every man is like that, but this is what men do post on their dating profiles.
[00:22:04] So if.
[00:22:05] If you're married and thinking it's better out there dating, I mean, maybe it is, because maybe you're really unhappy, but then you should leave because you're unhappy, not because you want to go date because Gross. It's so gross.
[00:22:22] All right, you guys, I hope you have a lovely week, and thank you for indulging my bitch session today.
[00:22:31] I love you all, and I will talk to you next week.
