Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:05] Hi there, it's Tracy. Welcome back to flirting. After 40.
[00:00:10] I messed up again. I didn't record on Wednesday night. I was exhausted. And so it's Thursday morning and I'm gonna release this, like, right away. But I.
[00:00:21] And like, I haven't talked to anybody today, so you guys are my first people. I feel like I have, like, that, like, voice. Like I smoked a pack of cigarettes. But anyways, good morning.
[00:00:35] I had a.
[00:00:37] I don't know, I've had a week and I feel like I say that a lot, but honestly, I. It has been this. It was Monday morning. I got a text from my mom that my dad had collapsed and was in the hospital, or they rushed him to the hospital.
[00:00:59] And, you know, I think a lot of us have parents that are getting older, you know, if you're over 40.
[00:01:11] And.
[00:01:12] And that's if we're lucky enough to have our parents still here with us. And dealing with parents communicating to you, when things like that happen, it's. It's. It's a little challenging. And I.
[00:01:32] I don't live by my parents. My parents are in Michigan. And so it's not like I can quickly, like, get to the hospital and find out what's going on. You rely a lot on the communication. And my dad is okay. I.
[00:01:48] They live in northern Michigan, so I'm not sure the hospitals are the best. But he's home. He got home yesterday.
[00:02:00] He got home yesterday and is doing well. So I just don't love the care that it sounds like he was provided.
[00:02:10] But it's hard again. It's hard to know without being there. So that's how my week started.
[00:02:20] And then work has just been a little frantic. Monday morning, receiving frantic calls at 8am is never good.
[00:02:30] And my son is going through some stuff at school. And, you know, it's.
[00:02:42] It was just one of those weeks where I wanna.
[00:02:47] You just have to get through it all. You know, you.
[00:02:50] You wake up, you deal with it.
[00:02:54] You don't sit in it too long.
[00:02:57] Um, and it. It's funny. What I was thinking yesterday is this is what I like, I was thinking about this in bed, that I'm really good at my job and I think I'm a really good mother. And I think I'm just really good in situations that are stressful. Like, I can get through it, you know, and we all just get through it. But, like, I don't get.
[00:03:31] I don't really usually get emotional.
[00:03:33] I come up with a plan. This is how we're going to do things.
[00:03:38] I am very fact based. I would probably be a good like negotiator, I think, like in situations and like, even when my kids are sick, like I hate, I hate, like, I hate sickness. And you know, when my kids are sick, you just, and any mom or parent knows you just have to kind of deal with it. But it's the days that follow that when things get hard for me, like while it's happening, I'm fine. I am like in control. We got this da da da da da, you know, action based. But it's two days later that it hits me, or a day later it hits me and then I get emotional and then it feels like, gosh, it feels like it's too much almost.
[00:04:31] So I go from these big, like these big waves of like, got this great did it. Like we're, we're doing all the things, everything will be fine to like after I've done it all. And it hits, it's like, then I get like weepy or I want the, the support or I get to a point where I just can't do the things anymore.
[00:04:59] Yesterday I actually like came home from a lunch and took a three hour nap. I don't nap ever. Like, and I mean, okay, not ever, but like, I rarely, I rarely nap. And I came home and like climbed in bed and I was like, I'm just gonna lay here for a little bit. And then three hours passed and it was 5:30 and I'm like, holy shit. Like my body just stopped.
[00:05:32] And so I just wanted to share that because I think a lot of us, a lot of people see the strong side or see the side where, or the emotional side and really get to see both. But I don't know, I felt like nothing was awful.
[00:05:57] Everybody's okay.
[00:06:01] But it's funny how it takes a toll on us, our bodies and how we deal with it.
[00:06:10] I've also been having insane dreams.
[00:06:14] I had a dream last night that I was going to be marrying a woman that I dated before.
[00:06:22] And I haven't asked, you know, my, my AI robot yet what this dream means, but she called it off the day of the wedding.
[00:06:37] I don't know, I gotta do some psychoanalyst on myself. But I had a dream the night before that I was in Disney World and I was in the women's bathroom and somehow I got peed on.
[00:06:53] I got peed on by a woman using the bathroom. And then I had to go buy new clothes and I go to a shop and the woman that peed on me was the woman Working in the shop, and I couldn't find anything my size. And then I demanded, did she pay for my clothes? Because she peed on me. What the fuck, Tracy?
[00:07:17] So anyways, I just think it's been a week, and I think my brain is like, what is happening? And it's giving me all these, like, crazy, crazy dreams and crazy things to deal with. So.
[00:07:30] And then the topper, on top of all of that, yesterday I got up and I was gonna go water my plants out on my back patio, and I opened. I call it a door wall, because I'm from Michigan.
[00:07:50] The door wall, which is also in most everywhere else, called a sliding door.
[00:07:56] I opened the sliding door to go out, and it kind of was, like, sticky, you know, like, stuck. And I was like, why?
[00:08:05] Like, why can't I open the door?
[00:08:10] Well, There is a big snake stuck in the door jamb.
[00:08:21] And so I'm like, opening it. Why is this stuck? I'm open, like, what's going on? Like, something stuck. And I look down and there's a snake trying to get into my house.
[00:08:32] And it is, I don't know, seven in the morning. And I just start screaming, like.
[00:08:40] Like, full on panic, girl screaming multiple times. Like. And I like, slam the door. And then that the snake's head is still, like, in the house. And I'm like. And I'm screaming, my dog, my fucking dog is standing there and not doing anything. And I like, grab him because I don't know, like, is it a dangerous snake? Cause, like, in Colorado, we have just, I don't know, normal snakes, gardener snakes, I don't know. But we also have rattlesnakes. And I've seen rattlesnakes. And I like. You like, oh, my God, don't bite my dog. So I grabbed my dog, you know, and the snake's head is still in the door, and I'm. I'm screaming. And so, like, I open the door, hoping the snake will, like, or, like, open it a little bit more. And the snake, like, his head goes the other way, and I, like, slam it, but he's still trapped in the door.
[00:09:39] And you guys, you know, I'm. I don't have a man here to help me with the snake. And I don't know that a man would. I think a lot of the men would have done the same thing I did. Doesn't like, scratch, scream their heads off.
[00:09:52] My old. My youngest son comes down because I woke him up by screaming. And I was like, mama, Mama, is everything okay? Like, what's. What's the matter? And I'm like, there's a snake. And he's like, what? I'm like, there's a snake in the door. Like, there's a snake. And he comes over, and he, like, looks, and he's like, oh, no. Yeah. Nope, that's all you.
[00:10:14] Thanks, dude.
[00:10:18] So there's. Anyways, so I get a broom, and I open the door enough to, like, try to get the snake out, but, like, now the snake is, like, crunched up in the.
[00:10:32] In the. In the door. Like, the wall of the door. Oh, my God. So, like, I finally get the snake out onto the patio, and it's like, they're alive.
[00:10:43] But I've, like, definitely heard it, so it can't, like, slither off.
[00:10:48] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm just like. I can't. I'm. Ugh.
[00:10:52] So anyways, my oldest son comes down. I'm like, dude, did you not hear me screaming? He's like, I was in the shower, you know, And I'm like, there's a snake, and I need your help. And he, like, looks, and he's like, that's a big steak.
[00:11:07] I'm like, can you, like. Can you, like, get, like, a dustpan and, like, scoop it up and throw it out and to the yard or, you know? And he's like, no, I'm not going anywhere near that thing with a dustpan. Like, that's. You're crazy.
[00:11:20] So we get one of those grabber things, like the.
[00:11:25] Because I'm short the. The things you use to grab, things you can't reach. And I give it to him, and he, like, goes out, and the. The snake is, like, hissing at him. I don't think it was a rattlesnake. I think it was a. I think it's called a bull snake, and picks it up and chucks it off the deck.
[00:11:46] So I.
[00:11:50] So that was yesterday. And then me and my business partner, we were at a.
[00:11:59] A job walk, and we had to do inventory of some rooms, and we were told, like, no one is there. Nothing's occupied.
[00:12:09] And in this facility, there's people that are staying. There's animals. But we were told no one is on this floor, so you can do your inventory. You'll be fine. And knock on a door, open the door, and it's dark. There's no lights on.
[00:12:28] And all we hear is just this dog, like, barking. And it feels like the dog is running to the door that is now open to, like. So I, like, slam the door, and her and I are both, like, what the fuck? What the fucking fuck? And like, I swear to God, my heart rate between that and the snake probably didn't come down all day. And that's probably why I also took a three hour nap. I think my nervous system was like, you, like you just escaped death. And I know I'm being, I'm exaggerating, but what the fuck?
[00:13:09] So anyways, it's been a week and I didn't record last night because J Man came over and all I wanted was comfort.
[00:13:27] And he is very analytical and very fact based.
[00:13:36] And the way he shows up was like I felt like I was being.
[00:13:43] And I said this to him, interrogated. But like, I feel like interrogation is too strong of a word. But I felt like I was being interviewed, like, what's going on with your dad? What's going on with. What's the situation with your son? Da da da da da da da. And I just wanted somebody to come and hug me and lay with me and I got a brief hug when he walked in and that was it. And. And it took me probably an hour and a half of that to like say something.
[00:14:17] And I don't think he took it really well.
[00:14:23] But he wants me to tell him when things happen, he wants to know at that time.
[00:14:30] And I'm also not as eloquent when I don't have time to prepare or like really process why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling.
[00:14:39] And basically I was like, you're not loving me and showing up how I need.
[00:14:47] And so that was a really hard conversation too, on top of everything.
[00:14:54] And so I am just feeling a little depleted and I'm not really sure how to like take care of myself to feel better right now.
[00:15:10] So I'm trying to listen to my body and get rest. And thankfully I have a great business partner that really covered for me yesterday and just, I don't know, it's not, it's not like it's anything huge, but it's sometimes just all the little small things that add up that feel like, yeah, I just want to kind of hide away.
[00:15:39] So sorry for getting this out a little late again.
[00:15:45] I do want to share a really good story though, just about girlfriends in life. So my. One of my really good friends had a 50th birthday party this last weekend and she goes all out. She loves to dress up. She is the life of the party always. She is, she's so kind. And she has this amazing set of friends, both. Like, I met her through work, so through our work and our Network there and through her husband and the other things they. They do. So she planned this like it was a Moulin Rouge theme party.
[00:16:32] And I love her because she's like, I'm turning 50 and I want to fucking party. And I want to party with a DJ and food and photographer and everybody goes all out and we have the best time.
[00:16:44] And it's so her. It's so not me.
[00:16:48] I hate dressing up. And like, for my 50th birthday, I will probably be with like five friends on a beach somewhere because that's what makes me happy. But this is what makes her happy. And I love that she was like, no, we're. I'm doing this. And it felt like it.
[00:17:05] I mean, I'm sure it was crazy expensive.
[00:17:07] It felt like a big. I mean, it felt like a big deal. She had a red carpet and like I said, she had a photographer and she had gotten her hair done and her makeup done and she's wearing like her best Moulin Rouge outfit.
[00:17:19] And because we all know her and love her, we're all like, we have to dress up. Like, this is not a party where you just like, put a nice dress on and go. Like, you have to like, have something a little bit theme themed to. To this. So my friend came over because I had. It was like, everybody's like, what are you wearing? And it was quite an ordeal.
[00:17:44] But my friend came over because I told her I was like, I rented like three dresses that I think could be appropriate for this.
[00:17:52] And she was like, I don't have anything. I was like, come over. Like, you can have one of that. You can wear one of them.
[00:17:57] And that morning I had tried them all on and really only one fit.
[00:18:03] So anyway, she came over and we had a little like, try on party and she like, we like sat in my bedroom and tried on dresses and talked and like, it was.
[00:18:25] It made me feel like back in like high school or college when you just got to be with the girlfriends and doing that, like getting ready for a night out and people are like sharing clothes and trying things on and it was really fun. Like that moment, that one moment of like, it was like almost nostalgia, like, takes you back. And like her and I have never done anything like that. Like, we, we've never really, like, I don't know, we met through work, so we're really good friends. But it was a different, I don't know, it was a different experience.
[00:19:00] And it.
[00:19:01] And then to like go to the party dressed up and everyone was dressed up and everyone was Happy because that's the vibe of the party. It was, it was really fun and I'm grateful that I have this tribe of women in my life that do these things and celebrate themselves and anyways, I was texting with her last night after everything that had gone down and we were just like sharing how hard things are sometimes. And it was acknowledging how nice it was to be able to let it all go for a little while and have fun and how lucky we are.
[00:19:51] So, you know, like that's, that's all in a week. So I know that everybody has stuff always.
[00:20:04] But it was also a good reminder to celebrate yourself, to live how you want to live and to do the things, plan the parties, wear the crazy outfits, have a little fun. So I wanted to end with that. With that. And of course a funny for the day. But I also don't have like a ton of funniest.
[00:20:35] This guy. I'm a serious man on a serious mission to rebuild everything.
[00:20:39] If you want to talk, he gives a snap.
[00:20:43] I'm just also not a snapper. But.
[00:20:46] But this 53 year old is. I'll be 53 in June. I don't like wasting time. I've lost 52 pounds since October of 2025 without weight loss medication, in the gym six to seven days a week, going hard, mostly every day for two hours.
[00:21:01] This is non negotiable. And I don't like to be fucked with when I'm working out. I don't even use headphones.
[00:21:09] Sorry. It just made me laugh.
[00:21:11] I will give you the attention you need from head to toe, mind, body and soul.
[00:21:17] I don't even like, it's. This isn't like a cringy one? Well, it's a little cringy, but like, like. And I also don't think any woman would be like, I don't think you should work out. Like if you're being healthy. And this is like, I don't. I. I can't imagine somebody like wanting to negotiate that. Like it's non negotiable. Okay. But I love that. And I don't like to be fucked with when I'm working out.
[00:21:43] I don't even use headphones.
[00:21:45] God, you're so tough. You're so tough you don't even use headphones.
[00:21:50] Um, anyways, you guys, um, I know that wasn't like an overly funny, but tough guy doesn't even use headphones.
[00:22:00] I'm wishing you guys a week without any snakes with lots of joy.
[00:22:08] I don't know what the rest of the week looks like for me. I have basketball, I think, every night with my son. So I think that might be a kind of therapy. I need to just go watch some games and get out of my head.
[00:22:23] But thank you guys, always for listening, and I hope you have an amazing week. Bye.
