Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:04] Speaker A: Hi there, and welcome back to flirting after 40.
I am sorry I took two weeks off kind of unannounced.
I should have let you guys know, but I didn't really intend to.
[00:00:17] Speaker A: You know, last week was Thanksgiving, and I had a friend in town and, yeah, just needed a little bit of a break. And the week before, truly, I think I was just exhausted by my life and the week I had had, and I just also needed a break.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: I guess that's the joy of having your own podcast. You can make up the rules, but I'm sorry. So I hope everybody had a lovely holiday.
Mine was insanely chill.
I had a friend in town, like I said, and I didn't have my kids.
And so we decided to do.
[00:01:02] Speaker A: Like, just make our favorite foods, like pick, you know, a handful of our favorite foods and make them. They didn't have to do anything with Thanksgiving, or they could.
[00:01:15] Speaker A: And let me tell you, it was super fun. Her picks.
Her picks were pickled beet balls.
Yuck.
Jalapeno poppers, crab wontons, baked potatoes, and wine.
And mine was. I wanted stuffing.
This sounds so gross. Altogether, stuffing, like mini sandwiches, tea sandwiches. So we had cucumber and egg salad. And I wanted.
What else? I'm trying to think of what else I picked. Obviously, wine.
And I wanted jello shots.
Her other one was cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, because she doesn't have one close to where she lives. So we just had this smorgasbord of random food, and we watched football, we watched the parade, and we watched movies, and it was so much fun.
So I suggest this, you know, if you're getting burnt out of the family traditions or, you know, the turkey, etcetera, it was a really fun way to make a day feel like it was special without making turkey. But anyways, I'm grateful for her. I'm grateful for everyone that listens.
And, yeah, it was. It was an amazing holiday.
So.
[00:02:48] Speaker A: No, not. I don't have a lot of updates for you guys. J man got to come over and meet my friend. She really liked him.
You know, it's just he's.
He is easy to integrate within my bubble, within my circle of friends.
Um, he's.
[00:03:08] Speaker A: I don't know. It's just. It's really, really easy. So I went to therapy, and.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: This was before Thanksgiving because, well, I like to go to therapy and just check in anyways.
[00:03:25] Speaker A: And I love my therapist, but I went and it was like, after that event where.
[00:03:32] Speaker A: Whatever the astrology in the world was happening.
[00:03:38] Speaker A: I was like, why are all these people popping back up in my life? Like, what in the world does this mean? And she's a little woo as well.
So I was telling her about it. She was like, Jesus. Like, holy shit. Like, what? What does that mean? You know? And maybe she's like, maybe it's like, trying to remind you of your old life and the door you've closed, or maybe it's trying to tempt you. And I'm like, I'm not tempted.
[00:04:07] Speaker A: But just a fascinating conversation. And, you know, I think I've said this before, but I find that people just reappear in my life, men especially, just, you know, I could break something off and then they reappear.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: And edit. And it.
Yeah, it was just such a weird. The timing of all of it was super, super weird.
[00:04:34] Speaker A: But then, you know, I was talking about J man a little bit with her, and I said, like, it's so easy and safe that I, like, I don't know what to do with it. Like, I.
[00:04:53] Speaker A: Like, I'm not one to pick a fight. That's not my. My jam. But I am like, like, there's about a couple little things, and I've told you about them. But he immediately responds with reassurance and acknowledgement and ownership over his own behaviors.
[00:05:14] Speaker A: And it makes it so easy that, like, it there doesn't. There doesn't need to be a fight or even really a elaborate conversation. It's like, I hear you, I see you.
I get it. I will do better. But let's keep talking about it. And you know, what I realized is that I really haven't had these kinds of relationships.
You know, my therapist was saying, like, you are just kind of like, you've had so much.
[00:05:48] Speaker A: Drama. Let's just call it in your life dating.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: There's always something, you know, and then even like the poly. Being poly in that world, like, that just causes drama.
But even, like, in the last couple relationships, not even relationships, a couple of people I've dated, there's been more drama than I would, like. Like, even with Sparky, like, him.
[00:06:15] Speaker A: Deciding he was just gonna, like, go out and date other people. And. Well, which we didn't. Which was fine because we didn't have any rules on it and. But, like, kind of.
[00:06:27] Speaker A: Hurting my heart during, like, my birthday last year. Like, there's just drama associated with it. And that. That was a pretty drama free, whatever it was.
[00:06:40] Speaker A: I just.
It feels so weird to be, like, in a safe relationship. And I was talking to my friend that was here about that too. And like, the dopamine hits you get when someone does something. Like, it fuels you. It gives you something to be, like, passionate about.
And not that I'm not passionate about J, man, but it is so safe and.
[00:07:12] Speaker A: Easy and drama free that it almost feels to me like something's wrong or like, you know, I'm not the pessimist. Like, okay, what's gonna happen next? But, like, okay, what's gonna happen next? Like, like, there's gotta be some big red flag somewhere.
And, you know, my therapist was very reassuring. Like, what if there's not? What if he is just a intelligent man that has done the work and sees you for who you are and likes you for who you are, doesn't want to change you.
[00:07:48] Speaker A: And is willing also, he's put work in on himself, is willing to work on himself and continue, like, to work with you on things like, not give up, not try to change me, not.
[00:08:04] Speaker A: Placate me, like.
And it's just so fucking weird.
And it's so good.
[00:08:13] Speaker A: But it just. It makes me uncomfortable a little bit because it is so good. Um, I don't know if that makes sense because, like, I think probably a lot of people have found that those kinds of relationships and I maybe just haven't. And I'm like a very secure. I. I feel like I have a secure attachment style. Um.
[00:08:35] Speaker A: And this.
[00:08:39] Speaker A: Maybe he has secure attachment style too. And so now I'm becoming insecure. I don't even know what's happening. I should probably read the book again. Um.
[00:08:49] Speaker A: But, yeah, I don't really have anything to report.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: I was getting my hair done today, and I love, like, women just being together.
[00:09:03] Speaker A: And my hairstylist, she has a sister and they work together.
So usually there's like four to five people in their little.
Their little salon.
And.
[00:09:16] Speaker A: Her sister is younger than me, but she's dating. Never been married that I know of.
And so we were talking a little bit about it, and, you know, she was saying, like, even just like last week, she's like, I was stood up. I.
[00:09:32] Speaker A: Had plans with a guy on Saturday and Friday they confirmed their plans, like, okay, this bar, 6:30, great.
And then she said, Saturday, he was no longer on the app, and they were just communicating via the app. And, you know, she was like, well, what do I do? Do I still go? And everybody was like, yeah, like, don't stand him up. That's shitty.
Anyways, he stood her up and didn't even have the decency to just like, you. You guys haven't even met in Person like you, you could just very easily say, listen, I'm not feeling this. I. I don't want to meet up tonight. Sorry for wasting your time or not even sorry. Just, I don't want to meet up.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: And like, what the fuck?
[00:10:15] Speaker A: You know, she was also talking about all these guys that want to send dick pics. Like, and she's like, I don't want to see your dick. Like. And all the women in the salon were like, yes. No, we don't, no, we don't want this. Especially unsolicited and especially like, no.
And like, I don't. Every woman was like, yeah, I don't think I've ever asked for one.
[00:10:42] Speaker A: Like.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: Just don't do it. Especially if you're like trying to like, I don't know, like.
[00:10:51] Speaker A: Get a woman interested in you.
Bad plan, dude.
[00:10:57] Speaker A: Yeah, so I, you know, was kind of like telling my, my hair girl, like, yeah, like I found somebody.
And you know, I don't have all the crazy stories right now because I actually am in a very good place and it's really weird and I don't know what to do with myself a little bit.
[00:11:21] Speaker A: I guess I'm gonna have to find my drama elsewhere. And I have a very good job for drama.
I do very well when things are kind of chaotic.
I have two kids. That's chaos.
[00:11:35] Speaker A: So I have things to keep me occupied in that chaos apartment. It just feels really weird.
All right, so at least I have some funny funnies for you guys.
I don't think I've shared this one yet, but.
[00:11:51] Speaker A: Again I'm on this like Colorado singles page and this guy, 42 year old, single, beer league hockey player here, looking for a woman that is left, left handed. Must enjoy video games. Must want to make one good kid.
Light eyed. Short Mexican women get first dibs. No lowballing. I know what I got. These are not difficult requirements.
[00:12:20] Speaker A: Okay?
A woman that is left handed, okay? I feel like that takes out, let's Even just say 50% of the population video games, okay? Let's take, let's say that takes out another 10. So you've got 40% and then a light eyed, short Mexican woman, okay? That's like probably 5% of. Probably not even 5% of women in the world.
No lowballing. I know what it. And these are not difficult requirements. Are you fucking insane, dude?
[00:12:52] Speaker A: And his picture is like, he's got this mullet just.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: Like. I don't even know what to. I don't even know what to say.
[00:13:04] Speaker A: All right, we got a couple More in here.
This guy says, wealthy man looking for a younger woman to take care of each other. Must be attractive and well built.
No hard drug habits. No bar sluts. I mean, anybody that calls anybody a slut for any reason, like, seriously, must be peaceful and not sarcastic. Being helpful and hardworking is a must. If you have any male besties. Not interested. I can upgrade your life, but you must reciprocate.
I'm not desperate, just practical and know what I want. Ugh. This guy is 60 years old.
[00:13:44] Speaker A: Just kind of gross.
[00:13:48] Speaker A: This one is really, really good. Okay, this is from.
I can't even remember what site this is. It must be one of the Facebook sites. Okay. Profile, 41, male, Colorado. America. Okay, we already feel like this is a scam. Income, $300,000 a month.
[00:14:11] Speaker A: $300,000 a month.
Okay. Height, 6 foot 2. Workout daily. Emotionally. Supportive. Yes. Nice to animals. Yes. Alignment. Patriotic. U.S. america.
High school West. Middle School. Desire. Partner. Poetry. No.
[00:14:30] Speaker A: Women lost their mind. Like, the responses. I don't have pictures of them were so fucking funny. Like, $300,000 a month, bro. Like, what the.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: Somebody posted.
[00:14:54] Speaker A: Some guy, like, apparently was asking her for.
[00:14:59] Speaker A: Nudes and she said no. And he says, I'm not disappointed, just most guys are going to want nudes regardless.
Even real life dudes do what she says. I'm aware that they. And they all get the same answer. He says, okay, question mark.
You don't gotta play the hard.
[00:15:18] Speaker A: Don't gotta play that hard to get. You ain't some supermodel. Ain't ugly, though.
[00:15:26] Speaker A: She's like, laughing my fucking ass off. He's like, it's the truth. Like, if you want to date, like, you gotta be a little bit better, bro.
This lady says this is the first message that she was sent.
Hi, pretty lady. Why is my meaty friend throbbing for you?
[00:15:44] Speaker A: So, so, so gross.
Um, okay. The last one I am going to stop is. Okay, there's a man that is, like, in shape.
He looks older, though, standing naked in front of a mirror. And his, like, hips are above, like, the sink and.
[00:16:06] Speaker A: So you can't see anything, but you clearly can, like, get the gist. He's got, like, a milkshake on the bathroom counter, an empty roll of toilet paper, and he has a towel wadded up on the, like, bunched up on a towel rack behind him.
[00:16:25] Speaker A: This one woman says, this ain't Grindr. And he says, it is. For some people, your tone kind of applies an insult. Was that your intent? I didn't read the rest.
This. This other person says, you could at least throw away the trash. Throw the trash away and hang your towel. Towel properly. That thing's got to be mighty moldy smelling.
[00:16:48] Speaker A: And then.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: Somebody says, you don't know how to use the empty toilet paper. Roll that towel though. And it gives no fucks, nor does it have mold. You are the expert though. So I'll check it twice for you. Like.
[00:17:05] Speaker A: Anyways, just like absurd responses.
[00:17:11] Speaker A: But yeah, if you guys can find me a man that makes $300,000 a month, let me know. I mean, he was like, I feel like I talked about a guy that was like talking about how much he spent on his haircut every month or every week. And it was like, absurd. They could. They're probably friends.
[00:17:31] Speaker A: Oh, you guys, I'm sorry. Like, my life is not as exciting as it was at one time, but that was the goal of this. And.
[00:17:41] Speaker A: So thank you for bearing with me and me missing the last two weeks.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm just. Like I said, I'm grateful for all of you taking the time to listen and I hope you guys have an amazing week.
