Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:04] Hi there, it's Tracy. And welcome back to flirting after 40.
[00:00:08] Oh my gosh. This week and last week have been a lot and I thought about not recording today.
[00:00:18] I'm just exhausted.
[00:00:23] My day job, my job, me and my business partner, we opened Help Open and build a homeless shelter for It's a navigation center for a city here in Aurora. And it's been one of the most probably emotional projects I've been a part of and one of the best projects I've been a part of.
[00:00:52] This facility is going to help people.
[00:00:57] It's really going to give them the resources to hopefully get back on their feet and find permanent shelter, but give them the resources to find jobs and help them through whatever challenges they're facing. And so the last two weeks we had a, Last week we had a ribbon cutting where the governor and the mayor came and big hoopla. And today was an open house. It's open to the public so they could see what the city is like creating.
[00:01:37] And anyways, this podcast is about love and like, I don't know, I just feel so proud of what, what we've done and I feel like there's such, I don't know, such a sense of purpose behind the work.
[00:02:01] So anyways, today was a long day. I was there all day and.
[00:02:06] But it's also a very weird day.
[00:02:10] So the northern lights were visible last night and I, I think tonight. But I had also read that like, I don't know, like something was happening, happening in the universe and I, I'm, I, I like woo, but I don't know what I'm talking about. So any people who are into the woo, please, please help me here.
[00:02:33] But literally the story I'm going to tell you about today, you can't make up or over the last, I guess it's over the last few days.
[00:02:47] So I'm going to start with. I think this was yesterday.
[00:02:53] Like, my days feel like they're very long.
[00:02:57] So yesterday I get a text from a guy I went on one date with probably four years ago, maybe, maybe.
[00:03:12] And I have him in my phone. First name. Okay, Cupid. So I met him on OkCupid at the time he and his wife were exploring poly. And I went to lunch with him and it was good, it was a good lunch.
[00:03:34] But he, he. And then he then invited me out. He was like, oh, my wife, we're meeting at this bar tonight. You should come. And I was like, okay. Like, I was open to at the time, open poly, whatever. He's like, but you can't like, you can't say hi to me. I was like, like, I can't acknowledge you. He's like, no. Like, we're poly, but like, we don't want to know at each other's is are doing.
[00:04:05] And to me, I was like, that's a. That's a red flag. Like, I.
[00:04:10] Like, I'm not.
[00:04:11] It felt like he was cheating, so I shut it down. I was like, nope, I'm not interested.
[00:04:20] It. It doesn't feel like you guys are really open.
[00:04:24] I'm looking at the time, you know, for a poly relationship in which we are open and honest with each other and our partners.
[00:04:34] Anyways, he's reached out. I. I had to go back at my text and look but like, he reaches out every like, once a year. He sends me a message yesterday. Hi gorgeous. Long time.
[00:04:48] His son was accepted into construction management program. Any advice or suggestions you might offer or feedback you have.
[00:04:58] I know this was your world. Hope you're well. XOXOXO okay. So many things wrong with this.
[00:05:05] I haven't talked to you. I haven't seen you in four years. We went on one date.
[00:05:10] Like, it's flattering that you remember what I do for a living.
[00:05:16] Hugs and kisses. Like, there is no hugs and kisses. Like, Just what the.
[00:05:24] Like.
[00:05:25] And. And I don't know. I feel like I've said this before my podcast, but I talked to my therapist about this at these men that like, it's like a cycle. Like, is it. I don't know if it's like a.
[00:05:39] Maybe it's a northern lights full moon that will reappear that I've, like, met or I like that I've somehow made an impression on them that they feel the need to reach out to me at these random points.
[00:05:57] No, I have not responded and I didn't respond to him the la. Well, the last time he texted me he at this was February 7th of 2024.
[00:06:11] He says.
[00:06:15] He says, lunch Friday.
[00:06:17] How about Aspen Grove? Angelo's?
[00:06:21] I will answer all the questions you want to ask me. I said, I think I'm going to pass on lunch, but thanks. I said, I'm really looking for someone that can give me it all. So, like my mindset had already changed. Like I was looking for a monogamous relationship in which like, yeah, not the poly. He says. He goes, I know, I know, Tracy. Ugh. I have always thought you were amazing, but I get it and respect what you're thinking, so let's do this.
[00:06:50] If I do wind up getting divorced, you Will be my first date when I'm officially free if you are still available. Deal. And I wrote back, we will see.
[00:07:01] And I said, hope poly isn't a last effort to stay together for you and your wife.
[00:07:09] Okay, so that was a year ago.
[00:07:12] And then I get that text just blow. Like, I.
[00:07:18] I don't even know what to make of that. Like, that just seems.
[00:07:22] Anyways, okay, so that happened yesterday.
[00:07:29] Last night I reached out to the lieutenant's wife, who I have not talked. Ex wife. Sorry. Who I have not talked to in forever because, like, I had just recorded about him.
[00:07:43] And I wanted her to know, like, I had been thinking about her and really just wanted her to know, like, I'm so proud of you for the life you're creating and for getting out of that relationship. And kind of like, I. I didn't apologize for not being there for her because she wasn't my relationship. But, like, that I saw her and I saw what she's doing and like, I thought I was just. Just acknowledgement.
[00:08:20] And she wrote me back this morning, kind of like the same message, like, oh my gosh, your kids are getting big. And.
[00:08:27] And it was just like, women supporting women.
[00:08:29] But it still was kind of, you know, it's. It's. It gives you feelings. Like, I. I wish I would have had her knowledge when I dated him because I probably wouldn't have dated him. And anyways, so that happened. This. This. This was at like 6:30 in the.
[00:08:59] The event today was amazing. And I had talked to you guys a little bit about a couple that I dated, Richard.
[00:09:13] He used to work in the building that we're renovating, and he swung by to see the open house.
[00:09:22] And I haven't seen him in probably two years anyways, or, yeah, a year and a half. I don't know. He came by and.
[00:09:38] Anyways, somebody I dated. But anyways, it. It was nothing. But it was really nice to see him.
[00:09:49] And he was very complimentary of, like, oh, you look amazing, and this is amazing. And just like, unexpected.
[00:10:00] J Man came by, which I love, because he wants to show up for me. And he came by and we did a tour with all the ladies.
[00:10:11] And that means like.
[00:10:15] Like having my person now show up for me, it's.
[00:10:20] It's huge.
[00:10:27] It's a lot.
[00:10:30] So then I'm driving home and like, I had texted him, J Man, like, hey, I'll be home by like 7 if you want to come by. And he didn't respond right away. I tried to call him and he was out walking his dog. Anyways, no big deal. But I like, I have to be up super early tomorrow, and I have a huge day again. And I knew I had to record this podcast. And so I was like, you know what? Let's scrap it.
[00:11:01] Let's scrap the plans. I'm going to see you tomorrow. And all weekend, I'm just going to, like.
[00:11:07] I just was like, I'm going to swing by my favorite Italian place and pick up food.
[00:11:12] So I go in to my Italian place and sit at the bar. I'm just gonna. I had a glass of wine. Like, I was gonna take my food to go texting with J Man. He called me back. Anyways, it felt a little weird. Like, it's like, you sure you're okay? I'm like, yeah, look, I'm like, I'm tired. I'm just gonna go home.
[00:11:40] And I. And I truly was. That was my plan. I was just gonna get some food, I was gonna eat, have a glass of wine and go home, Eat my food at home, whatever.
[00:11:49] So I'm sitting there drinking my wine, and I was like, might as well just eat here.
[00:11:57] Bartender, my favorite bartender. I was like, can you. I'll just eat here. So eating my food, I'm minding my business.
[00:12:10] Truly.
[00:12:12] Talk to J Man on the phone. My son calls me. Anyways, whatever. It doesn't matter.
[00:12:16] I look over, and in a booth in the bar is a guy that I had dated five years ago.
[00:12:28] And he's on a date. It looks like he's on a date. He's with a woman.
[00:12:32] And I like, like, I like look at him, and I'm like, holy.
[00:12:38] And so I give him this, like, half smile, like, acknowledgment. But he's on a date. So, like, I'm not distracting them. And I just turn around, I eat my food, drink my wine, and I'm like, I'm not, like, I'm not acknowledging so my story with him.
[00:12:55] So before I was Polly, he is. He was the first relationship I had after getting divorced.
[00:13:02] And, yeah, we, like, entered Covid together.
[00:13:09] And I ended things very terribly. I.
[00:13:17] Gosh, I have this really bad habit of ending things abruptly and with not great explanation. So. So he was awesome. He was great.
[00:13:35] I don't. I don't know that there. There. There was a moment, but I'm not going to get into us here where I got the ick.
[00:13:43] And it was something he did, and I. I was just turned off and I couldn't unsee that.
[00:13:57] And also, I was very interested in the Poly world.
[00:14:01] And so he and I also, like, we had talked about, well, maybe we open up our relationship, or, like, maybe we do this. And anyways, I freaked out. I ended things, and I ended them badly.
[00:14:18] He, months after me ending things was like, I would like to see you.
[00:14:25] I'd like to have a conversation about how they ended. Anyways, I see him and he just kind of verbally beats my ass. Like, he's just. He's angry and he's hurt.
[00:14:40] And I take. I take it, like, because I did. I cared about him, and I felt really bad about how things ended.
[00:14:52] Anyways, so he is now sitting in the booth behind me on a date, and I haven't seen him in five years.
[00:15:03] So what a day. You know, You've got random, okay, Cupid Guy.
[00:15:10] You've got Lieutenant's wife, you've got Richard. You've got J, man. And I was literally just gonna grab food and go home, and now he's in the booth behind me.
[00:15:31] Anyways, I don't look back, and he walks out and, like, gives me a pat on the shoulder, and it's like, oh, like a wave goodbye.
[00:15:40] Okay, good, fine.
[00:15:43] My son calls me at the bar, and I'm answering his questions anyways.
[00:15:51] I don't even know what I should call him. I need. I need a code name for him.
[00:15:56] Let's just call him G.
[00:16:01] So G comes back, and he walks back in, and he's standing behind. He's like, hey.
[00:16:10] And I'm on the phone with my son. I hang up. I'm like, hi. And give him a hug. And he's like, do you mind? And he sits down next to me. I'm like, no, you're welcome. Like, let's get a glass of wine.
[00:16:25] Anyways. So we end up catching up for a good hour.
[00:16:30] Ish, probably.
[00:16:34] And sharing, like, very similar stories of our lives in the last five years. And kind of his poly or poly experiences or open experiences and mine and kind of laugh, like, just catching up. And, like, it was. It was like a brain dump of, here's five years in an hour or in 30 minutes. Because I got his five years in 30. Like, a very, like, quick, intense, like, conversation.
[00:17:11] And there's so many similarities. And I'm shocked that I haven't run into him before.
[00:17:17] But, like, there's something. There was something in the world this week or today and yesterday. Like, all. Like, how. How does your life, like, all come surrounding you in. In a day, in. In a couple days? Like, I don't even know how to how to explain this, but it felt like, yeah, it.
[00:17:47] If you're an outsider, you're like, this isn't even possible.
[00:17:51] Like, how do all these relationships in some way, show back up in the last couple days?
[00:18:01] And not all of them, but, like, I don't. I don't know.
[00:18:08] Like, weird.
[00:18:14] Anyways.
[00:18:18] Yeah. I wasn't even going to record an episode.
[00:18:21] That's the thing. Like, I was, like, I don't even, like, have anything to talk about. Like, and I'm exhausted. And now I'm like, wow, the world just shows up in weird ways.
[00:18:37] I don't know. And, like, I don't have anything to say about G. Like, I just. It was. It was great to catch up.
[00:18:47] It was great to see Richard. It was amazing that our friends showed up for us. I. I just feel this.
[00:18:55] Yeah. Like, the Earth has. The world has brought people back for some reason.
[00:19:01] I don't know what the reasons are.
[00:19:04] Maybe it's just to, like, remind us of where we've been and where we're going and that there's. I don't know, like, you can move on and move past things.
[00:19:26] Yeah. I'm just insanely grateful for the people I have in my life, and I think, yeah, maybe the world is just trying to remind us of that.
[00:19:43] I would love to hear if people have had similar days this week.
[00:19:48] I feel like, yeah, I don't know what it is. I need to do some reading up on my astrology and moons and shit like that, because, yeah, it's.
[00:20:04] It's also. I don't know. Anyways, I feel like I've just rambled for the last 20 minutes, so thank you for bearing with me.
[00:20:15] I will probably be more articulate next week, and I have a ton of funnies for you guys, but we're kind of at time, so please, like, just send me messages if, like, you guys have had anything weird happen this week, I'd love to know about it. I won't share it if you tell me not to share it, but I. I just.
[00:20:36] I don't know. I don't know. Something. Something's happening in our world, and I believe in that. But.
[00:20:46] All right, you guys have an amazing week, and I appreciate all of you.
[00:20:53] Thank you for listening, and I'll talk to you next week.
