Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:05] Hi there, it's Tracy. And welcome back to flirting after 40.
[00:00:10] Number one.
[00:00:11] I am not a, like a, like a Swifty. I'm not a big. I mean I like Taylor Swift, I like old Taylor Swift. I mean I like Taylor Swift. But we have to say congratulations to Taylor and Travis Kelsey on their engagement. Woohoo.
[00:00:27] Yay love. I mean like Taylor, I don't, I don't know a lot about her but you know, I've heard a lot of her music and like I feel like she's had some horrible heartbreaks.
[00:00:42] So it's very exciting news and hopefully they will live happily ever after.
[00:00:53] Oh. All right. So I had told you guys I was going to take J man to a party last week.
[00:01:03] It was this last weekend I took him.
[00:01:06] It is a group of friends, a group of work people and they have this, it's a belly flap party.
[00:01:18] And you know, it's just a, it's just a party and in which the women of the group some dress up, some don't.
[00:01:29] You have a walk up song and you then belly flop into the pool and you are judged.
[00:01:37] So I had, I asked Jamin, you know, if he wanted to come with me. He hadn't met any of my friends or anybody yet. And the, that's kind of a big ask. You know, I, I told you guys, like, I really, I like that. I feel like he could fit in and just kind of go with the flow and, and it would be fine. And it, and it was fine.
[00:01:59] We had, we had drinks before the party and during the drink he, he was just, he was, he almost seemed anxious which, which made me anxious. But he was, I don't think he was, he was just very talkative and I kind of like, he said, you know, I looked a little like, holy shit, what am I doing? Why am I like, am I really going to bring this guy to this party? Like he, and, and I, and I wasn't really thinking that. I was just like, oh, like he's like really talkative. Like oh gosh, like, like it just gave me a moment of pause and you know he called himself on it and called me out on it too. Like, but that eased the, any kind of apprehension I had and it was, it was a great time. He, you know, was really.
[00:03:01] I'm trying to find the right word because like it was nice to be there with someone and he was just super, super chill. Like he, he talked to a lot of people but like, I don't know, we kind of just hung out together and I Don't know. It's been a long time since I've been at a party at an event where you're with someone and you can like kind of like catch their eye or just sit and joke around. I don't know. It was, it was really good.
[00:03:40] So I.
[00:03:44] A little, a little history.
[00:03:47] He despises the people that take samples at Costco and. And I think he secretly despises the sample give routers because they're the ones giving the samples to the people.
[00:04:02] And. And when I say despise, I mean like really, really truly despises them.
[00:04:08] Like I think we probably talked about it or texted about it 10 times since I've known him.
[00:04:19] So like for, for something that like keep coming up like, you know, you know, it like just really irks them.
[00:04:27] And so I had gotten the idea.
[00:04:31] I was like I.
[00:04:34] Because I needed a. I needed. I wasn't gonna belly flop number one because I'm just not a big like I like attention, but I don't want to be the center of attention. Especially not when it comes to performing like any kind of performance. Just like I can go stand on a stage and speak to people about like my business or about what I do or the real estate market and design and construction. But the idea of dressing up and having a walk up song and belly flopping in front of everybody just makes me nauseous.
[00:05:09] But you know like we gotta, we gotta sometimes jump off the pool tech.
[00:05:19] So anyways, J man was my inspiration for my costume because of his hatred for Costco sample takers, sample giver outers. I dressed as a Costco sample giver outer.
[00:05:36] I don't know what their title is, so I like that.
[00:05:39] I got a red vest, I had a red tray and I made jello shots for everybody. As my sample I made a cute little, like just drew a cute little Costco name tag and had some plastic gloves on, you know, so I'm not sharing the germs.
[00:06:02] I had a hair net, but that was just feeling like over the top.
[00:06:08] And I like, I wouldn't tell him what I was doing before. So it was a surprise for him and I. My walk up song was Work Bitch by Britney.
[00:06:19] And anyways it was a success.
[00:06:23] I definitely, I think made an impression on him and. And all the other guests had a very successful belly flop.
[00:06:35] So successful that I was.
[00:06:38] I won the first round and had to go again, which I have zero. I was like, I had one thing planned and that's fucking it. I don't want to do this again.
[00:06:47] And then I had to do it again, and it just. The second was just. It just sucked. But that's okay. Like, I didn't want to progress further, and I'm okay now being known as Costco Tracy amongst people that I work with.
[00:07:04] But, yeah, I think J, man, like, you know, I think he. He definitely took a liking to it and. And to me.
[00:07:16] Yeah, it was. It was really fun and. It was really fun.
[00:07:20] Yeah. To just be out with friends and, you know, a guy that I'm interested in.
[00:07:29] My other friends, like, def. Like, there was some that, you know, gave me the thumbs up and said, we really like him. And that's awesome. That's awesome because that doesn't always happen either.
[00:07:41] So. Yes. So things are going good, you guys. So, like, I don't even know what to talk to you about.
[00:07:47] We are going to take a trip, and I think that, like, I spent the night with him on Saturday, and that was our first, like, overnight, and that went really well.
[00:08:03] Like, I don't know. You got to try out these things, because how do you know if you like somebody? Like, really. Or you could tolerate them if they are a horrible sleeper or, I don't know, do something weird? Like, he did want to get food at midnight, and, you know, I'm kind of for it, but, like, I put. We put the kavash on that. That was like, the only. Like. And that's not weird. That's just like, a drunken thing, you know, let's get some Taco Bell.
[00:08:36] We've all been there.
[00:08:38] There was nothing that. That was bad.
[00:08:42] Like, holy shit.
[00:08:46] Yeah, it's like.
[00:08:48] It's fascinating because I really. I really do think I had the bar set pretty low. Like.
[00:08:58] Like, I even offered to take an Uber back to my car that was at the belly flop party.
[00:09:06] And he's like, are you crazy? Of course. Like, I'm gonna drive you. Of course I'm gonna drive you. Like, why would I make you take an Uber?
[00:09:12] And, um. And like.
[00:09:15] Like, things that I like. Why would I suggest that?
[00:09:20] Because he's right. Like, if he. If he would have been like, sure, get an Uber, like, peace. Like, I. I pro. Yeah, I would have been offended.
[00:09:30] Yet I set myself up for those things. Like, I. By offering that, like, I just feel like he is exposing. Opening my eyes to how much I.
[00:09:44] Or how little I.
[00:09:49] I don't, like, believed I deserved more, was content with just kind of mediocre dating.
[00:10:03] I don't know. And it's not about. It's not about money. But it does influence. It does. It does. Like, he bought me.
[00:10:12] I mean, it's stupid. It's stupid things like, we went to Starbucks. He bought my coffee. Great. He bought dinner. Like, these are things that I.
[00:10:21] I don't know, that are really nice that I haven't had.
[00:10:26] And I like to spoil, too. So I think together, us both being, like, that person that's like, no, like, I want to take you out or I want to do something for you will allow us to have a lot of fun.
[00:10:40] So he's been working a lot and has some time coming. Time off coming up. So he asked, like. He was like, we should do a mountain trip.
[00:10:49] Yes, we should do a mountain trip. Like, why the fuck not? And, you know, like, I can say all day, like, I really like this guy.
[00:11:01] I think he's amazing. But also, traveling with someone shows you a lot more.
[00:11:09] And again, it's not a test, but it's like a. Let's see how. Let's see how we do in a car for six hours together. Let's see how we do three days in a row together. I mean, do we get bored of each other? Do we get sick of each other? Like, does he turn grumpy? Do I, like. I don't know, all the things that are real life. Like, let's go try it.
[00:11:32] Um, so I'm. I'm excited. And he is actually, like, planning it, like, for. For real.
[00:11:43] I don't know that I've ever, ever had a guy plan a trip ever.
[00:11:52] I think, you know, Sparky was like, he had an idea for a trip or wanted to do a trip, but, like, I'm just the person that would, like, do all the research. I'm the person that would find the place to go.
[00:12:04] I will take this back. I will take that back. The lieutenant booked a trip once, and.
[00:12:11] But that was honestly, like, three or four years ago, and he was the only person that really has ever booked a trip. So this is fascinating.
[00:12:24] And I am like, I just kind of want to go with the flow.
[00:12:30] I know myself, and I will. Once we figure out where we're going, I know I will, like, book us a dinner reservation or do something fun to contribute.
[00:12:41] I know I'll find us some places to go, because, like, that's just who I am. But what a fucking concept.
[00:12:52] And why has it taken me so long to find somebody like this? Like, I don't know. That's a. That's. That's the burning question I have. But I'm gonna take it, and I'm Excited.
[00:13:09] You know, it. It was.
[00:13:11] It was interesting. He.
[00:13:13] He sent me a text that said, a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it is very sexy.
[00:13:22] Yes.
[00:13:23] Like, fuck yes. Because that, that. That text alone, I was like, oh, he sees me. Like, like, like he gets it. He gets who I am.
[00:13:42] Because I do. I do know what I want in. In. In a multitude of.
[00:13:50] Of ways. I mean. And I also know, like, I know how to do it. I know how to get it. I.
[00:13:59] I'm just like, the fact that he finds that attractive is so attractive to me too.
[00:14:08] Yeah. So a little gushy here, but I think it's.
[00:14:15] That. I think it's good. And I'm. I'm going with it's good. And I'm.
[00:14:20] I'm trying very hard not to self sabotage anything.
[00:14:28] I mean, because we all have insecurities and I'm just trying to be like, super open about it and ask if I do. Like, I asked him if he was seeing anybody else and I asked it with this. Like, it wasn't like an attack. I was just like, I'm just curious if you are seeing other people. And like, there's no, there's nothing wrong with it if you are.
[00:14:51] And he. And he said he wasn't and instead of me. Like, and I know a lot of us do this, like, we spiral in our own heads and we make up stories to fill in the gaps when we don't know what's going on.
[00:15:03] And instead of asking, that's what we do. So I was like, I am not going to do that. Like, there's no reason for me to do it and doesn't help anybody and it just would make it worse. So I just asked.
[00:15:17] And.
[00:15:18] And if his answer was that he was seeing somebody else too, like, that's fine too. At least then I would know.
[00:15:24] Like, then I would know, you know, and like, we're not in a committed relationship. Like, I. I wouldn't.
[00:15:32] That wouldn't have deterred me from wanting to continue to see him. So, um, I don't know.
[00:15:38] Yay.
[00:15:41] And I'm sorry I don't have any more horrible stories to share with you guys, but I do have a couple funnies.
[00:15:50] I was. I. I'm finding a lot of inspiration on Facebook lately, but one of the, like, like there's groups of again, about dating and stuff, and this woman asked, like, why.
[00:16:02] Why do men have like, so many pictures in their profile where they're either either flipping off the camera or their tongue is sticking out?
[00:16:11] Okay, gentlemen, this is the most. It is so unattractive. Like, I don't know. I don't know anybody. Any woman that. Well, I'm sure there's some out there, but that would be like, yay, he's flipping off the camera. He looks hot. Or like, he's such a badass. That's so fucking hot. Sticking out your tongue. Same fucking thing. Get your tongue back in your goddamn mouth. No one needs to see that in your dating profile. And if you stick your tongue out all the time or you flip the camera off all the time, I'm out. Like, that is not.
[00:16:41] That is not something that is appealing. Um, also on Facebook recently, you know, like, do you remember, like, when. Well, you guys are. I don't know my age when Facebook came out and people would post, like, I'm cooking dinner for my family. Like, they would just get. Give, like, life updates as their status updates, or I'm feeling happy because I had a great day at work.
[00:17:09] Well, like, I feel like there was, There was a friend of mine that, like, just, like, when things are bad in his relationship, he just, like, posts it on Facebook. And, like, it's, it's just totally an overshare, and it's so unattractive. And I wonder, like, like, this was. All he wrote, was done being the villain. But, like, I followed enough that I see that, like, it's her. I'm guessing it's about his, like, baby mama. Like, and that's, like, a dig at her publicly. I just hate public.
[00:17:52] And I, I'm saying this, and I have a podcast, so you guys are probably like, hey, you're a hypocrite. But, like, public, you know, I don't shaming ick. So don't do that either.
[00:18:05] Okay. My last funny, which I, I, I think this is funny.
[00:18:11] It's the list of places women refuse to go on first dates.
[00:18:17] And you guys, for those that have been listening, I cannot believe Caddyshack Cantina is not on this list. But it's not.
[00:18:27] Still, Still, Caddyshack Cantina. Just, oh, pulls at my heart every time.
[00:18:34] Okay, number one is Cheesecake Factory. Number two, Applebee's. Number three, Chili's. Number four, Chipotle. Five, Olive Garden. Number six, the movies. Six, seven, your house. I think number one should be your house. But number eight, any fast food chain. Number nine, Buffalo Wild Wings. Number ten, Wing Stop. Do men really take women to Wing Stop on a first date? Number 11, Red Lobster.
[00:19:00] Okay, I kind of, I, I kind of think Red Lobster as a first date. Would be funny as. But that's just my sense of humor. So number 12, a buffet. Number 11, IHOP. Number 12, Denny's. And I can't. I can't see number 13. Anyways, yeah, that's. That's a true list.
[00:19:19] So, ladies and gentlemen, first date.
[00:19:23] The Caddyshack Cantina is looking better and better.
[00:19:28] The thing is, I do love Chili's.
[00:19:30] I kind of like Olive Garden, too. But I agree, you know, first date, like, go someplace that's just not a chain and definitely not for wings.
[00:19:44] All right, well, you guys, I. I promise, like, I'm working on. On trying to get some better stories for you guys, because you're gonna be like, tracy, you're just so happy. Like, what's happening? So, again, if anybody has any stories from you, friends that you want to share, you want to talk about it? You want me to talk about it for you that you think would be like, you know, give. Give our listeners a laugh, please let me know.
[00:20:10] Again, you can reach out on Instagram or hello@flirting after40.com.
[00:20:16] Well, have a lovely week, and as always, I appreciate you guys for listening. Talk to you next week.
