I Have a Dick So I Make the Rules

[00:00:00] Foreign. [00:00:05] Hi there, it's Tracy. And welcome back to flirting after 40. [00:00:10] I don't have any major updates this week, you guys, but I feel lighter, happier, more in control. [00:00:21] Last week, it was a really, really, like, the last two and a half weeks have been really hard for me, and last week was a really hard. [00:00:33] It was a really hard work week. [00:00:35] And you know, the thing, like, so you guys know, I own my own business and I partner. I have a business partner and she owns her own business, and we partner together on things. But. [00:00:50] The gravity of a situation we're in is it, it just, it makes it really hard to be functional sometimes. [00:01:01] And I can't go into the details about everything, but I just, I need to say that I do a lot of things alone And I am 100% this person that, like, I'm like, I don't need anybody. I don't need anybody because I can do it. [00:01:24] And my dad, I think. I think I might have told you guys this growing up. Every night we went to bed, we had to say, I can do it. [00:01:33] And yes, that has been my mentality my entire life. [00:01:39] I can do it. Not we can do it or together we can do it. It's. I can do it. [00:01:48] And I'm also. It's funny. Like, I, I'm a Capricorn and I'm not a super horoscopy person. I definitely have a little woo in me and believe in things, but my social media feeds have been inundated this last week with Capricorn information. [00:02:11] Capricorns are strong. They don't need anybody. They have this work ethic like no one else. And basically, come hell or high water, they will get it done. They will figure out a way to get it done. But then they also have the side. They're very. It doesn't say bipolar, but very. [00:02:27] They have the side where they don't need anyone, and then they have this side where they want nothing more than to have a partner that helps them. [00:02:39] And last week, I, And I, And I, I, I had this happen because I spiraled. I had a work meeting and things were not going well. And like, I know we've all been there. We've all had these. And prior to me having a business partner, I would have, you know, you, you have no other option except you just show up and you, you do it. [00:03:13] But I would have very much half asked it and I wouldn't have been very present. And I feel like it would have been a negative. [00:03:19] It would have had. Had a negative impact on My work performance and the relationship. [00:03:25] And so in that moment, I asked her, I said, I don't think I can be my best. And I don't think, like, I don't want to be on this other call with this other client. I, I, can you help me? [00:03:42] Can you take this? And she was like, oh, absolutely. Like, no problem. [00:03:47] And it's very hard for me to ask for help. [00:03:53] And I am insanely grateful that she was like, yes. [00:04:00] And so, you know, also, like, that kind of relationship reflects back on me to me of relationships and dating and things like that and why I'm where I am. And I think being able to be that vulnerable, to say out loud and admit to yourself, like, I am not in a good space and I will probably do more harm than good. [00:04:30] And to ask for help for me, it's very hard. [00:04:34] And what I think I kind of got from that too is like, I need to do a better job of surrounding myself with people that I have that level of comfort with that I can say, like, I can't show up. Like, I want to show up and I don't feel good about this. And I'm in a bit of a spiral. [00:04:58] Can you got my back? [00:05:01] And I probably have like, J, man, like, was is a great example. He would have said yes. He would have had. He would have had my back. But I have to believe it too. [00:05:12] And I have to be able to be that vulnerable. [00:05:18] And I think it's a me thing of really trusting that the person will represent me fairly and will not hold me, will not hold it against me. [00:05:36] So I'm going to put that in, like, the forefront of my thoughts and like, intentions moving forward. Like, again, I have no desire to date, but when I do, this is going to be a kind reminder of, like, let's find someone that you feel gets you and you feel can show up for you in moments when you can't. [00:06:04] My ex husband. That drama is kind of settling down. But after I recorded last weekend, I went to dinner and I was driving home and got a text from him that he had gotten in a car accident and was asking me if I could go pick up our son from basketball practice. [00:06:24] My initial like is like, oh my gosh, are you okay? And he's like, yep, I'm okay. [00:06:30] And then I'm like, ugh. [00:06:32] Like, I am his phone, a friend. I am his person that he calls in an emergency. [00:06:38] And like, while it's my kid, I. I want to always be that person. [00:06:45] I don't want my kids sitting on the curb, waiting an hour, but I don't know it. I. So I picked up my son, drove him home and then came inside because I was also like, I don't, I don't know what's going on. Like, I don't know if it's a bad accident. I don't know if the police are involved. I, like, I don't know what we're facing. So I'm going to make sure the boys are okay or I'll then bring him back to my house. But I ended up staying till a little. I think after 10 o'. Clock. I was there for two hours while he was handling this accident. And I mean, it was great. It was. Well, it was, it was great to spend time with my kids. We played basketball outside and. [00:07:32] But, ugh, multiple things like, like, I'm his, I'm his person. He calls. [00:07:42] And I'm also like, why didn't you just exchange insurance information and move the along? [00:07:48] And, And I still don't know. I don't know exactly what happened. I know he's an aggressive driver. I'm not making any accusations. He said somebody sideswiped him, but I just haven't gotten the story. So it kind of goes hand in hand. Like, it was like, it was this week where. And like the, the last two and a half weeks, I feel like I've just been taking care of him. [00:08:15] I've been taking care of all the responsibilities. I've been showing up for everybody. [00:08:21] And then the work. Work was a lot, a lot. And I just, it was really, really nice to have a person that I could say, I just can't. [00:08:34] I can't do this right now. And they said, I gotcha. [00:08:38] And even to like follow up later in the week and then this week to be like, okay, how are, how are, how are you doing this week? And I'm doing much better, but I'm also doing much better because I booked a trip. [00:08:55] I, I realized that when things are so heavy, you know, and, and you get in a cycle where it all feels heavy, like, how do we break the cycle and how do we take a moment to pause and reflect and let things go? [00:09:15] Like, I need a trip. [00:09:18] And I'm fortunate enough to be able to just like it. I'm going to book a trip. [00:09:24] So I'm, I booked a trip for this coming weekend and I, I think also having that thing to look forward to gives you, gives you a little bit more like oomph and like, okay, we got, we got this. We can get through this. This Is this is another week, you know, but we have something to look forward to. [00:09:48] So that's also my advice. Like, I know not everybody can take trips like I do, but plan something that you can look forward to when you. When you're having these crazy weeks or these crazy months or year. Like, give yourself something to look forward to in a moment of reflection and to reset. [00:10:09] And that's my hope, is that this trip will be like, I will be able to let the things go with my ex husband. [00:10:17] I will be able to reflect back on my relationship with J. Man and truly like, figure out, like, own, like own my shit and what do I want to do differently and let some of that go. [00:10:34] And yeah, I just. So, yes, I'm taking a trip. That is, that is my solution to a bad three weeks is it's time for a trip. [00:10:46] Yeah. And I am grateful that I have that opportunity. [00:10:53] And also, like, this weekend was super great. So this weekend I had basketball tournaments. There was a basketball tournament Friday to Sunday. [00:11:01] And this also provided me with a lot of, like, hope and belief. [00:11:10] You guys know how excited I was that my son made the team. [00:11:13] And they started the season off very badly. Like, I think their first tournament, they won one of seven games and they just played badly. They just. You could see they. They weren't a team. It was like, it was cringy. It was like, oh, like, hold on to the ball. Just, oh, my God. [00:11:37] And then they played a high or a middle school or it was a high school tournament in conjunction. Anyways, this last weekend was their last tournament for the summer season. [00:11:48] And it was at MSU Metropolitan State University here in Denver. And it was so good. [00:12:00] They. [00:12:02] They played so well and they did not win every game, but they played like. [00:12:09] Like you could. You could just see the development and you can see when you put in work what comes out of it. And you could see how when you show up how different it is than when you just half ass it. You show up like, eh, I'm here. We'll play. Blah, blah, blah. Like, they, they. There was this. [00:12:35] This passion in them. [00:12:37] And after the first day, the coach had said, like, if they don't win another game this season, like, I will be so proud of them. Based on this last game and based on how they played today and they came in Saturday and they won both games. [00:12:56] And the thing is, they beat a team that had beat them by 40. I think it was 40 points. I could be totally exaggerating here, but I want to say almost 20, 40, like a lot of points. They beat a team that had just annihilated them two weeks ago. [00:13:15] And how in two weeks with this dedication of showing up of, you know, and like my son had said the week before, like, I don't know if I even want to do basketball anymore. Like, I don't think I want to play in high school. Like, and I was like, oh, no, please, like, don't. [00:13:37] Don't give up. And I think that's also a really good lesson for all of us because, like, at times it's so hard and it matters how you show up. [00:13:49] It matters that you shake it off, you let it go. [00:13:54] Because, you know, in two weeks it could be a totally different game. [00:14:00] And they made it. They were the number two seed going into Sunday. [00:14:04] So for not sports people, they were ranked number two in the bracket. [00:14:11] And then they played a game and if they won that game, they were playing in the championship game. [00:14:17] So they won that game and they won that game. That game they won against a team that had beat them by 20 points. Like, I think it was the fair first tournament too. [00:14:28] So, like, they showed up and they were beating these teams that had beat them before. [00:14:35] And that's a mind fuck if anybody, like, you know, if you're going in against a competition that, that has beat you before, like, you're already like, like, they're really good. They beat us last time. You really have to focus. [00:14:47] And they did. [00:14:49] And then in the championship game, they lost by four, but that team had also beat them by 22 points earlier in the season, so they got that much better. [00:15:02] And I think they could have won that game, but, you know, the better team did. [00:15:11] But it was so close and it was so good and I was. I'm so proud. I'm like, I am just insanely proud of all those boys for what they've done. So I don't know, I thought it was a really good lesson for all of us because we've all been there at some point. And I try to take that and, like, hold onto it because I would rather be that team too. I would rather. I mean, I would love to win everything because I'm competitive, but I would rather be the team that learns and grows and modifies and comes in and kicks some ass at the end. So it was also really cute. This is one plug for my product, but really cute that my son, his. One of his best buddies, his birthday was on Sunday when we're playing basketball, and he needed a card, so I gave him one of my, like, cards. I make and then I gave him. He was like, I gotta give him something. And I have a. On my website too. And on Etsy, like a stick sticker that says lovely as and it's like pink and purple. And my, my son was like, oh my God, he's gonna love this. And I'm like a, a teenage boy. He's like, oh yeah, this is gonna be on his water bottle. So check, check it out. You guys check out flirting after 40 on Etsy or on my own website. But I just. It was also really cute. And then I watched the kid open it and he like laughed and like was like, oh my God. So I don't know that his mom will appreciate it, but he is lovely as. So just had to put that, put, put that plug out there. [00:16:59] All right, so we're going to move into our funnies. I actually have a few this week and I'm not back on the dating app. So these are all just like shared profiles of people I've sent me. But this guy, he's a big winner. Intimacy and. Intimacy and sex first leading to ltr. Long term relationship. I only want a relationship with love and affection. Looking for exciting women, world traveler, 50 plus countries. [00:17:25] Again, there's no period. So love. Concerts, music, weekend getaways, movie beaches, dining out, sports, hanging out with friends. There's some commas in there, but not a lot. [00:17:34] Prefer to meet in person. No endless texting. Open to long distance. Worked on Wall street, now entrepreneur. [00:17:41] Work remotely and there's not even a space. Take a chance. You might meet a great guy. Must speak decent English. So we can talk. [00:17:59] Yeah. Yep. Speaking the. A common language is good. Talking is good. But he's clearly just wanting someone to. [00:18:12] This guy. This is horrible. This is Jason. He's 45. [00:18:17] I'm not here to talk you in. I'm not here to be nice to you. [00:18:21] I'm not here to care if you like me. I don't have Karen tattooed on my forehead. Okay, let's just pause there. I don't even know like what that is supposed to be an innuendo for. Like you're not a Karen. So like Karens aren't good. Like Karen's aren't a. [00:18:37] That's not a compl. I don't. I don't know what that means. Okay, I'm not here because I need you. But I may want you. [00:18:44] I know what I want. And the rest go on its life journey. Dudes not drug 4 not drug. 420. Drunk or cigarette friendly. I have a dick I make the rules. Enough said. [00:19:02] Whoa. [00:19:05] Like, I. I swear to God, if any woman likes this man, like, I have a dick. I make the rules. Fuck you. Are you fucking kidding me? Like, I can't even believe this is out. [00:19:21] I just. [00:19:25] Wow. [00:19:26] Wow. [00:19:30] The last funny is Michael. He's 69 years old. [00:19:35] He's recently retired. He will spoil you. [00:19:40] He will leave you full, fully satisfied in the bed, in and out of the bedroom. [00:19:45] I can't chase you like I was young, but I'll treat you right. I'm a gentleman. Can be a little bad boy if you want. [00:19:54] Oh, my God. I just. I'm. It makes you want to, like, vomit. [00:19:58] I can be a little bad boy, like, six. [00:20:04] Like, I wonder, like, do men hit an age and then they stop with this, like, ridiculous? Or does this continue until you're 80 or 100? Like, am I going to be on dating apps or in a homeless. Not a homeless. In a retirement home when I'm 80 and some guy is going to walk up to me as Walker, Like, I can be a good boy to you. Like, are we fucking kidding? Like, oh, my God. [00:20:34] Oh, my God. [00:20:36] All right, you guys, those are really cringy funnies. They're. They're. I. I have a dick, so I make the rules. [00:20:45] Like, I feel like I need, like, a bumper sticker that's like, I have a pussy, so I make the rules. Like, what? Like, women would never say that, even though it's true. No, it's not true. But, like, seriously. [00:21:00] Anyways, I'm gonna try something new in the next, like, couple weeks. I'm gonna try to do some more, like, videos, Instagram, Facebook, kind of, like, messages to y' all as I see them. And maybe I'll find some good things on vacation this. This weekend to share with you guys, but some more maybe, like, live content. We'll see how it goes. I have no idea if that's. If it'll. If it'll work out or not, or I will just be sitting in my ass in the pool and reading a book for four days, which is probably the case. But anyways, have an amazing week. Thank you, guys, as always, for listening, and I will talk to you next week.