Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:05] Hi there, it's Tracy and welcome back to flirt. And after 40.
[00:00:09] So this last week, I launched a new business.
[00:00:19] So I run a construction project management business. But this new business, it's called safecap Legacy.
[00:00:28] And the idea came to me when I was in Jamaica in February, and I think the podcast actually really influenced my idea.
[00:00:44] So the concept of the business is essentially recording either audio or video messages and sending them to loved ones at set times, you know, in the future or upon your death.
[00:01:02] And it's just a way to memorialize your. Your story.
[00:01:08] And I, I did this. I mean, doing the podcast for me has been really, like, really uncomfortable and, and eye opening. But I think, you know, documenting your story and sharing your story and sharing it in your words and like, it has so much power and there's like, power of like, letting even, like, the story go, like, letting it out of your body, you know? And I started this because I wanted to find someone to share my life with. But. But I've learned a lot about me and I've learned a lot about, you know, like, people, how people consume stories and, like, stories and how much, you know, your. Your words and your stories actually mean to other people as well.
[00:02:07] So I launched it yesterday, and by no means is it perfect and like, exactly where I wanted it to be, but I'm also this person. Like, you just have to jump in you. And this is kind of how I look at life in general. Like, you just have to make the leap and like, nothing is ever going to be exactly how you want it and nothing is going. Like, you're never going to feel maybe, like, maybe people do, but I don't think you're ever going to feel ready for, for like, taking a big risk.
[00:02:43] And you just blindly believe in yourself or the situation or your. The feedback you've been given and you do it.
[00:02:53] I kind of feel like love and dating is kind of the same way too. Like, you show up, there's no guarantee. There's no guarantees ever. There's no guarantees that it. It's going to work. There's no guarantees that in a year, you know, somebody isn't going to hurt you. But, I mean, I would rather jump in, give it my all, especially if I feel like they are too and fucking do the thing.
[00:03:23] I don't know, like, why not?
[00:03:26] And I feel like people that play it small. I mean, I've. I've played it small in certain circumstances, but, like, I'm not gonna play it small anymore. Like, I am gonna do the things I Wanna do? Um, you know, last week I, I told you that J Man had said, like, you know, a woman who knows what she wants and how to get is very sexy. Like, I, I know what I want now. Do I always do it correctly? Do I have the best way to go about it always? Probably not.
[00:04:04] But why don't we, like, take the risk?
[00:04:08] I don't know, do the things.
[00:04:11] So I did that, and I have no idea. Like, I, I, in my head, I'm like, I'll give it a year, maybe two years. Let's see how it goes. Let's see what I learned from it. I mean, the amount of stuff I've learned from the podcast is, I mean, like, it's so huge. So, like, maybe I'll learn that from this as well. I don't know. But I just, I, I feel like everybody has a story, and creating a platform where people can share their story and share their story when they're ready with the people that they're ready to share it with. I feel like, I mean, it resonates with me and I, I feel like it will with other people too.
[00:04:59] So I, Last night I had some friends over to celebrate because I also believe you have to celebrate yourself.
[00:05:10] I mean, these, these friends obviously love me and want to celebrate with me, but I chose to invite them over to celebrate it because it's important to me and it's important to me to share it with the people that I, I love and that I want in my life and that support me.
[00:05:30] I also did invite J Man to this, so he was able to meet my matchmaker, who is the one that had taken over my hinge profile and hooked us up, as well as a couple other friends. And I don't know, it was really nice to have all that love together, and it was really nice to have a community of people, my community share, you know, in, in my, I don't know, it's not a success yet, but in my bravery, in my, yeah, boldness, I guess.
[00:06:17] And, and he did, he did really well. And he, I don't know, I, I, I, I, I feel like it just, it keeps getting better. And that is not a feeling I've had in forever. Forever.
[00:06:41] The, the feedback, you know, was one was like, J Man equals hearts. And like, everybody just said, like, they found him very, just very genuine and easygoing and very kind and like, every, like all good things.
[00:07:06] So, yeah, I don't know. Things are going well. I also introduced him to my kids, which I know people are probably like, what the Fuck. Tracy.
[00:07:16] It's not, it's been not even two months, but here's my theory on this is like, I, I know, like, I, I, I, yes, I have made some bad dating decisions, but I feel like more like in my world, like, I've been duped, you know, like, or people have.
[00:07:43] I don't know.
[00:07:46] You know, pretended is not the right word, but, like, I haven't seen people's true colors for a long time after starting dating them. But, like, with, with him, I. I believe he is being his true authentic self. I believe he is, like, showing up as he is. Like, there's. I don't know. I don't feel like it's a game. I don't feel like he's like, well, let me just, like, hook this bitch and then let her go. Like, I don't know. Like, I, I could be naive. Who knows? But I don't know. I believe in who he says he is. And so, like, introducing him to my kids, I just, I wasn't like this. I was very chill.
[00:08:31] Like, this is just my friend. And I mean, I told my kids, like, yes, I've been on a, on some dates with him, but, like, I didn't, I didn't come into it with my kids of, like, God, I really hope you like this guy. He's really important to me. Like, I, I just wanted them to meet and see the person that I am spending my time with, and I want to be able to include him in things like last night to celebrate with me when my kids are present and not have it be a weird thing. Also, my kids are old enough where I feel like, you know, they know I'm dating. I, I've been divorced for, like, eight years now. Like, they, this is not a new thing, but I have not introduced them to a lot of men, which I think is, you know, fair. Like, I, I do want to have some confidence in our relationship before I introduce them, but. Yeah, that went well, too. So, I don't know, like, this is going well.
[00:09:37] So it was. I, I had a little bit of, like, holy shitness.
[00:09:43] He J. Man was out last weekend and told his friends about the podcast.
[00:09:52] Oh, my God. And apparently they listened to an episode or two of, like, made me self conscious. Like, again, like, my diary is being read aloud.
[00:10:07] But, I mean, that's what this is about. So I. It's. It's out there. But apparently they, they found it entertaining and, you know, kind of gave him a hard time. Like, not a hard time, but it sounds like, you know, like him in his younger years would never been able to have handled, you know, someone outwardly talking about him and our relationship in this kind of forum. But you know, like they're, they, I think they were proud of him too for like handling this well. And I'm sure like I, I don't know how I would handle it if I'm on the receiving side of someone talking about me publicly. But he's been a really good sport about it and, and it's not like it's some secret that he is carrying with him.
[00:11:02] So maybe, maybe a couple new fans.
[00:11:06] Hopefully he'll introduce you to them soon and then I'll have stories, more stories. But I don't know, it's, it's going really well and I just feel like again I feel gushy but like I feel just very happy. I feel very content. I feel like I've found someone that sees me, that meets my level of energy, that doesn't think I'm too much, doesn't think I'm crazy yet that is thoughtful and fucking plan shit. Like again like it just like I think, you know, it really helps me reflect on like some of my past relationships that and, and the things that I allowed into my life that weren't healthy.
[00:12:04] So I'm going to tee up probably like the next couple weeks. But I like, I would say like my last really serious relationship was with. We're going to call him the Lieutenant. And it, it's been two years and I still like, I haven't been able to like share my story because I'm, I'm scared of what could happen.
[00:12:37] I'm, I'm kind of ashamed of my, my behavior and how that relationship evolved.
[00:12:50] So.
[00:12:52] But I think dating J man has given like, has just brought so much more clarity to me that I feel like I can probably share that with you guys now.
[00:13:06] It'll probably be like a two part thing because it was a shit show.
[00:13:12] But like seeing how somebody can show up for you and make you a priority and you don't have to compromise who you are has just really.
[00:13:30] Yeah, it's like opened my eyes to this, to where I was failing before.
[00:13:38] So this is a happy episode. The others might not be, but I just, yeah, I'm, I, I don't know.
[00:13:49] Today I was out at a industry event and I saw a guy like, I don't, I don't, I don't even know this, this gentleman well and he's like, yeah, the last time I saw you, you know, you were just, you were Talking about dating and just what a shit show it is and how it sucks. And, and my matchmaker was there and she was, she was singing J man's praises. But he's like, that's awesome. You know, like, I'm like, I'm really.
[00:14:24] And, and you know, and I, I made a joke about, I don't know, I was like, I'm leaving. I am like hot, sweaty, I'm gross. I gotta go record my podcast. And I was like. And like, I need sex. Like.
[00:14:38] And like this guy, like, he like looked at me like I grew a third head and I'm like, is. Is that a bad thing to say it like a work, I mean it was like a drinking work event, like a fun thing. But like he looked at me like I was insane for saying that aloud. And like, no, I'm going to go like, no, I. I have a guy I'm dating now. I'm going to go home, I'm going to take a fucking shower, I'm going to record my podcast and then I'm going to get some like, I don't know, I feel like I was again, I am just who I am. And apparently maybe I offend some people. But I, I did tell him to listen to the podcast, so if he listens to this, he might be offended.
[00:15:22] But anyways, so things are going really good.
[00:15:29] Okay, so again you guys, like, I do need, I need some people that want to share their stories and I'm going to call out like, well, I'm not going to call her out, but I met a woman today too and she's, she's younger, she's probably in her 20s, but she was telling me, she's like, I have so many crazy hinge stories about just horrible men and I might pressure her to like come on here, but I need some of your all stories because I'm running out of the bad stories and only have good stories, which I'm not personally complaining about, but you all might be because I know the horror that comes with dating is entertaining.
[00:16:21] But you know, I am still on. I'll like the, the dating things on Facebook. Like not like apps but like dating groups and shit. So I do get to see some funny things that, that are out there like this. I mean they're all like Colorado based, but this lovely man. So here we go. Here's our funnies that are not necessarily my funnies, but they're still funnies. And like I'm witness to this.
[00:16:53] This guy's 42 years old. He says, I'm done with Facebook singles. All you Women in your 40s on here are delusional and lost in your political views. Septum piercings, trashy neck tattoos, hopes of travel and adventure, and independent women. Bullshit. Ex drama.
[00:17:13] Wow. Like, okay, sorry, I'm going to continue.
[00:17:17] You're all hypocrites. You want a man who will accept your bastard offspring, but when the shoe is on the other foot, none of you want a single father who provides for their children.
[00:17:29] If I could delete this profile, I would.
[00:17:33] Here's what you should do. Eat a bag of dicks.
[00:17:41] Okay. There's so much wrong with this.
[00:17:44] Okay, well, you can delete your profile. Like, dude, you have free will.
[00:17:50] I, I, like, I, I don't know how to help you there.
[00:17:55] I think most women would like a man that like, if a man has children like that he provides for them. Yes, I think that's a, an attractive feature, but delusional loss in your political views. Septum, Septum piercings, trashy neck tattoos, hopes of travel and adventure, Independent women. Bullshit.
[00:18:19] So like I, I, I, I like do, does this guy like get any likes?
[00:18:30] I mean, because like this profile makes like, I can't, I'm, I would never like this guy. Like, who's going to like this guy? And like, dude, what do you think you're attracting? Like, you, you put this shit out in the world and you think you're going to attract like, well, I guess a non septum piercing, non tattooed, someone that doesn't like to travel, that is not independent and like, but eat a bag of dicks.
[00:19:06] Oh, and then this guy, he's, oh, he says, I'm a rare breed, own my own business, get up early and read scripture. Like to stay physically active. My wife, my ex wife is a little, well, best to not finish that phrase. So if you're sane, smart, attractive, and enjoy spending time with your children, you need not apply. My dating history suggests I am not into those types of women. Laughy face. I've only met a few, but every single girl says I look way better in person.
[00:19:42] Okay, again, what the are you thinking? Like, okay, so you want a non, non smart, ugly woman who does not like spending time time with her children. Like, I'm, I'm so, I'm just confused. I'm like, they don't make any sense anyways, you guys.
[00:20:09] You know, I, I, maybe I should, I mean, I know there's got to be businesses. I should do some research where people help people with their profiles because I mean, there's got to be money in that, but I would rather. I mean, I would rather, you know, douchebag, bag of dicks guy, like, be. Be who he is, so no one has to wait. Waste their time on that piece of shit.
[00:20:38] All right?
[00:20:40] You guys are amazing. Please, please, please. If you have a story to share, I want to hear it.
[00:20:46] Good or bad. Okay, it doesn't even have to be bad. But bad is funny. Sometimes once you're over the bad, like, I feel like, you know, that's kind of where I am in my life right now. Like, I'm. I've. I've survived it, so I know I can laugh about it, but, like, at the time it was really bad. But, I don't know. Share your stories. I want to hear them.
[00:21:06] Thank you guys for listening. I hope you have an amazing week. And to my new friend Tori, that's listening.
[00:21:14] Thanks, girl. Talk to you guys later.
