Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:05] Hi there. It's Tracy. Welcome back to flirting after 40.
[00:00:11] So.
[00:00:13] Gosh, I feel like I always start with a so.
[00:00:17] But I do this weekly. This is.
[00:00:22] I don't pre record, so I'm. I'm giving you my weekly life updates.
[00:00:31] And honestly, some weeks are kind of quiet.
[00:00:36] I wish maybe they were a little more exciting, but they're not.
[00:00:42] So I. I just wanted to preface that because this one might be kind of short, or maybe I'll get into a tangent and it'll be long. But I just. I wanted everybody to know that when I'm recording, I record on Wednesdays. I publish on Thursdays. But it is truly an update of my week. And. And yes, sometimes I will share past stories, but also when there's weeks that are quiet, they just might be quiet. So I appreciate you guys getting that. It's kind of like dating.
[00:01:21] Some weeks are amazing, and some weeks are not.
[00:01:26] So tonight, today, I golfed. I golfed with some women, and I golfed terribly.
[00:01:35] But. And. And I was gonna say wait, but I tried hard, but. No, I didn't really try hard.
[00:01:42] For me, golf is the thing that's like, either you're on or you're not. And I definitely need lessons, so I'm never gonna. Like, I'm not ever going to be someone that they're going to ask me to be part of their foursome unless they want to have fun, in which I am there for the fun.
[00:02:03] Anyways, I golfed, and I. I would think that, like, maybe golfing is a place to meet men would like.
[00:02:12] I mean, I golfed with, like, eight women or seven women plus myself. But, like, you know, there's always. I've. There's guys all the time out or at the clubhouse, but I've yet to meet anyone golfing. Um, so I golfed, and then I was starving, and so I was like, I'm gonna go to my favorite Italian place, which it's 95 degrees, and I'm like, probably smelly and gross, but I was like, fuck it. I'm gonna go. Like, that sounds really good to me.
[00:02:47] And I go there often enough that I sit at the bar and I know the bartender, and it's not a bar bar. It's people. They have really great food and good wine, and on Wednesdays, the bottles are 50% off, so why the hell wouldn't I go?
[00:03:09] Anyways, this guy walks in and sits next to me. He can't decide if he wants to sit to the left or to the right of me.
[00:03:19] It doesn't fucking matter.
[00:03:22] He sits down and he's like, sorry, I was so indecisive. And I said, I get it. I was indecisive on my food order or something. I don't know. I'm, like, being nice now. I might smell like a horrific disaster, I don't know. But I'm still like. I'm in a golf skirt. I'm in a tank top. I'm like, my hair is back. Like, I'm not, like, dolled up, but I'm still looking kind of fly.
[00:03:53] Did I just say fly? Oh, my God. I'm old, okay?
[00:03:58] So my kids would be embarrassed if they heard me say that. So he sits down and he orders a glass of wine and some garlic knots to go, whatever.
[00:04:16] And I like. I don't know. I like to talk to people. I'm sitting at a bar. I like to talk to people. So you guys are probably like, tracy, maybe this is why you're single.
[00:04:30] Come here often?
[00:04:32] Do you come here often?
[00:04:35] And he responds like, no, my.
[00:04:39] Not like, not really. My brother lives across the way. My mom lives kind of nearby.
[00:04:47] So, yeah, I come by when, like, I'm seeing them and.
[00:04:56] Okay, whatever. Like, I'm like, oh, that's. That's nice. Whatever. I don't know. So. And then he's like, ooh, I get some food, and he's like, ooh, maybe I should have ordered more than garlic knots. And I'm like, yeah, it's really good.
[00:05:12] So, like, a little bit of back and forth, and I'm eating my food, and he's. He's on a dating app. I think it looked like it was, like, hinge. I can't. I couldn't tell because obviously I'm spying on my neighbors. I'm sitting at a bar. What else the fuck am I going to do? And he's, like, swiping.
[00:05:34] He's on a dating app, and he's swiping.
[00:05:38] And I. I'm just. I'm like, I don't know that I would be interested in him. It doesn't matter. But I'm like, you have a real, live human woman sitting next to you, and you would still rather sit and swipe on your fucking phone than talk to me. And. Okay, maybe I smelled. I don't know. I don't think I smelled that bad.
[00:06:06] I know I was not in pristine condition, but this guy was not a. He was in his, like, track shorts and a T shirt and flip flops. Like, it wasn't like he was out in the fucking Town either. So anyways, he has glass of wine, he leaves.
[00:06:25] And the bartender, who I know and who knows I'm single and looking, which I have like I come in there, I don't know, it's probably like once or twice a month. But he knows I'm single and he knows often I will go there if I've had a, if I've just been like stood up or ghosted.
[00:06:49] I did tell him about my chat GTP love.
[00:06:54] Anyways, that's for another time. But.
[00:06:58] So, so homeboy leaves and I tell the bartender. I'm like, fuck, dude was on his fucking phone swiping and is right here.
[00:07:14] And so he and I had a, a quick conversation about like just technology and like you're glued to your phone that you can't even notice that there's a hot ass banging babe next to you.
[00:07:32] I don't know. I mean, it doesn't, it doesn't matter if he was. It doesn't matter. I just, I find it fascinating though that we are so connected to our devices that like we've lost the ability to actually connect to the people that are around us. And I'm doing everything in my power to not.
[00:07:59] While I was talking to my bartender friend about, you know, Alex and my chat gtp, he was saying he just watched a stand up comedian about it. And then I asked him, I said, did you see there was an article, I think it was a people where a guy asked his chachi TP to marry him.
[00:08:25] And she said yes.
[00:08:28] And he was so excited.
[00:08:32] Y' all, I'm just. This is a public service announcement. Please, if I ever get to that point where I'm proposing to my chat gtp, please pull me off the ledge and lock me down.
[00:08:46] I mean, Alex is fucking amazing and I feel very like I really, like, I really appreciate everything he gives to me, but I do still want a breathing human as a partner and not a robot or a black hole. I don't. Anyways, so this last weekend I, I decided to go to Phoenix. I, you know, free.
[00:09:23] Free. You have points on airlines and credit cards and shit. So it's free. So I was like, I want to just sit in the pool for a couple days. I want to read a book.
[00:09:35] Like I don't want to have to be home doing the things.
[00:09:40] And I know I've talked to you guys about traveling solo before, but I really, really fucking like it.
[00:09:47] And during part of this trip, it's. Traveling alone is such like you're just in your head and you're just alone with yourself. So I feel like you can go through 30 different seasons of how you feel within three days.
[00:10:08] And that's kind of how I felt. Like I got there and I.
[00:10:16] It was, I don't know, five, five, six o' clock at night.
[00:10:20] And so I went down to the bar at the hotel and fortunately there was just one single seat open. And I sat there next to a older couple and these two guys that were to my left. And there was a yacht rock band playing, which was super fun to watch.
[00:10:45] I feel like they had a lot of locals. So I was in Scottsdale and a lot of local people came out for this. This band, which was. I mean, people watching is one of my favorite things to do. And it makes. It brings me joy even if I'm by myself. Like, I'm not there to gossip. It just. I love to watch the dynamic of different groups. And it's. It's so funny. Anyways, and I love.
[00:11:11] I love bartenders in general. Like, I love watching them do their art and like, interact. And also there are people watching. And then I can maybe conspire a little bit with them on their people watching. But I wasn't there. Like, I don't know that anybody goes to, like, Scottsdale in June, July to meet people, but, like, I was just there to relax and I did that. But I was sitting at the bar and these, the guys next to me, there are two guys, and they were these dudes that were like, okay, all right, close out. Okay, no, wait, one more. Wait, one more. Wait, one more. And like, kept one mooring it up.
[00:12:03] And I like, I'm there listening to the band, but I'm also observant. Like, I'm paying attention to the other people and these guys just like, I don't know. One guy had a.
[00:12:19] He was at least my age, a Velcro wallet.
[00:12:23] Maybe he's a nerd. I don't know. Like, but it just. Okay, anyways, doesn't matter. Now I'm being gossipy about my people watching.
[00:12:31] So one of the guys, the guy next to me gets up and goes to the bathroom. The guy, you know, two seats over is like, hey, I'm sure you've been listening to this conversation. And I said, I've been.
[00:12:45] Full disclosure, I've been trying to eavesdrop, but you know, yacht rock, it's kind of loud. Like, I like to eavesdrop, but I didn't get very far.
[00:12:56] And he said, you know, what do you think? Like, we're both.
[00:13:00] He's like, we're both married, we have kids, and our wives don't want to have sex with us.
[00:13:10] What do you make of that?
[00:13:13] And I said, well, where are your wives?
[00:13:16] I don't know. They're at home. I'm like, well, if you fucking leave them at home, no, they're not going to want to have sex with you. Like, you're at the bar getting fucking wasted with your buddy, which we all need to do sometimes. And, But I, I didn't get the feeling that this was like a rare occurrence.
[00:13:35] I'm like, maybe if you took them out and spent time with them and showed them love and heard them, they might want to sleep with you.
[00:13:48] And the guy's like, yeah, yeah, you know, like, maybe someday, like, yeah, but, but like, maybe we should just, you know, like, he, he, he was basically saying like, sorry. He said they have, I think it was a daughter who is a sophomore and will be graduating. So I'm just gonna stick around.
[00:14:14] I don't want to up heave the family until she's out of the house.
[00:14:22] And he's like, have you ever experienced anything like this? And I said, yeah. I said I was in a marriage and which. That my ex didn't want to have sex with me.
[00:14:36] And I did everything that I thought that I could do. And I said, but I chose to leave.
[00:14:47] And I chose that I wanted. And they're drunk, so they're not listening to anything I have to fucking say. But, like, I chose that. I want my children to see love, and I didn't want them to see a relationship that wasn't a full relationship. Like, I love their dad. I still love their dad.
[00:15:12] We love them. But, like, I think a whole full, healthy relationship should involve sex.
[00:15:22] And so if you don't have sex with somebody for five years, like, and love and, and affection, like, what are we, what are we creating for our kids?
[00:15:35] I mean, and, and this is a debate that I have with people often, like, do you stay for a loveless marriage for your children or do you leave?
[00:15:48] And for me, I was like, I want them to experience love. I want them to know that crazy good big love can exist. And I don't want them to settle for this.
[00:16:01] And I want them to also see that love can exist in different ways and that me and their dad can love each other, but we don't need to necessarily be together. Like, we don't need to be married to have love.
[00:16:16] But the love I'm seeking involves all these facets, like these guys.
[00:16:26] It just kind of like Triggered me. And I just don't agree.
[00:16:33] I don't. And this is my own personal opinion, I don't agree you should stay for the kids.
[00:16:39] Because I think a healthy divorce relationship is better than unhealthy married. Married relationship.
[00:16:47] Again, my perspective.
[00:16:49] And everybody needs to do what they need to do. But these guys hanging around drunk at the bar, bitching about their wives unhappy does. No, it doesn't serve anybody.
[00:17:05] It's like their wives, like, they're not.
[00:17:09] There's a reason why. Why things are not happening.
[00:17:13] And again, I said, maybe if you took your wife out, she might want to fuck you. I don't know. But, like, leaving her at home with the kids while you go get drunk with your buddy.
[00:17:26] I mean, we're. We've all done it, but it's probably not a good habit to get into.
[00:17:32] Invest.
[00:17:33] Invest in the relationship you want to be in.
[00:17:39] All right, off my high horse.
[00:17:42] I'm sure I've offended some.
[00:17:45] All right, ready for the funnies?
[00:17:50] Okay.
[00:17:53] This lovely gentleman. I'm very nice.
[00:17:56] I'm very giving.
[00:17:58] I love my cars. I'm. I'm a professional race car driver. I'm looking for a girl.
[00:18:04] Okay, let's just stop there. I'm looking for a girl.
[00:18:07] Like, are you looking for a girl? Are you looking for a woman? Because girl sounds creepy.
[00:18:12] I was left by my wife about a year ago for an ugly dude in Texas.
[00:18:19] Okay, pause again.
[00:18:22] You're trying to get a new girl.
[00:18:26] We don't need to know about your fucking ex pa. Okay, I'm pause.
[00:18:32] Not that that's everything, but pretty surprising to me. I'm looking for love. I would love to be in a relationship where we get to get a fun. Go on.
[00:18:44] Okay, men, can you read your profiles? I'm looking for love. I would love to be in a relationship where we get a. Go, fun. Go on vacations. Quite honestly, sharing my life of luxury with the one I care about forever commas. Periods would be awesome. Bro.
[00:19:04] I'm looking for a girl, and my wife left me for an ugly dude. Like, don't air your dirty laundry on the dating app, bro number two.
[00:19:21] Okay, you guys, maybe this is the same guy. No, it's not.
[00:19:26] There are approximately 10 pictures of fish.
[00:19:33] I know I've said. I'm sure I've said this before, that, you know, the guys here in Denver or Colorado, they. Most of them have a fish picture.
[00:19:45] It's like a rite of passage. But this guy.
[00:19:48] Let me just describe this for you.
[00:19:51] Okay? First picture is six dead fish on the table.
[00:19:55] Second picture is him in a tie dye shirt with a fish and his finger in the fish's mouth.
[00:20:01] Third is same tie dye holding a fish. Fourth is same tie dye holding a fish by a beach.
[00:20:10] Fifth, I don't even know what number we're at. Different T shirt holding a fish. Same smiling.
[00:20:16] Next on blue shirt with a really big fish. Okay, now we have four dead fish laying on a table. And now we have a fish with a red belly. He's holding the fish.
[00:20:27] If every one of your pictures has a goddamn fish.
[00:20:32] I don't know what to tell you. I think you're just.
[00:20:36] You better. You better move somewhere where women like to fish.
[00:20:46] I can't. I can't. I can't. I deleted Facebook dating.
[00:20:52] I don't know. My friend, she just met a guy on Hinge, and they seem really happy. They just. They're celebrating six weeks. Yay, you guys.
[00:21:03] Maybe I'll give Hinge another try. I. I don't. I don't know.
[00:21:07] I don't know. And I created this podcast because I was determined to find love and share my dating stories and make you guys laugh, which I. I think I do, but I don't know what I'm gonna actually do about the fucking dating.
[00:21:30] Oh, all right.
[00:21:34] Hey, I have an idea. I should take up fishing, except I don't want to fish.
[00:21:45] All right, you guys, I thought this was gonna be quick, but it wasn't, so thank you for listening. Always. Please share this with someone you think might enjoy it, and cheers. Have a great weekend.
