Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:05] Hi there. It's Tracy. Welcome to flirting after 40.
[00:00:11] The highlight dating wise of my week was just a few minutes ago.
[00:00:17] And it's not a highlight.
[00:00:20] I had my dog in the car and maybe I should just take my dog everywhere because he's really cute and I think he might like, increase my odds.
[00:00:35] He.
[00:00:37] This guy was like, like smiling, like big smile and like waving.
[00:00:45] He was probably like 25, but.
[00:00:48] And he was smiling at my dog and not me.
[00:00:56] But yeah, that kind of tells you how exciting my life has been.
[00:01:04] It was really sweet though. And I had just left.
[00:01:08] My youngest just had a birthday. He turned 11 today. Yay.
[00:01:15] And I think, you know, last week I was telling you guys about what a good relationship I have with my ex and their dad. And so we had, we opened presents at my house, all of us, as a family, and then went out to dinner and, and then went back to his house for cake.
[00:01:38] Like so shared the love amongst the houses and stuff. And it was awesome. It was great. And it was, it was kind of funny because I had not seen him since the kids had told me about my funny last week about his dating and this, this woman that told him, you know, you do you.
[00:02:02] So I had to bring it up because I'm me. I can't, like, I don't know. Like, he's so uncomfortable. Like, he does not want to talk to me about hit, like who he's dating. And he even today was like, I don't want to hear about your dating life.
[00:02:20] Like, I don't want to know. So I, I think it's, it's cute. But he said he's seeing her again or they're seeing each other, whatever. I don't know. They've been seeing each other for like three weeks. So I'm, I'm applauding it. Like, like she said something, you know, off the cusp and cuff off cuff. I don't know what you, what, what you say that like to that. But like, she said something that didn't sit well and then apologized for it. And like, I just, I want him to be happy. And I don't know her, but like, we all deserve to be happy. So he put it in the past and anyway is like, I'm now living vicariously through my ex husband.
[00:03:13] I, I also this week there was these two guys walking in front of me and I like, put on chapstick. I'm addicted to chapstick.
[00:03:24] And I put on chapstick and one of the guys happened to turn around as I was Doing it. And he's like, yeah, you're licking your lips for us. We're hot. And I was like.
[00:03:38] And I. Again, I think maybe. I mean, like, maybe in their 20s, like. And I'm like, bro, just.
[00:03:46] Just keep walking. I'm. I'm so.
[00:03:51] Yeah, the. The. The guy in the car with the dog.
[00:03:54] My dog definitely was a highlight.
[00:04:01] Oh, Lord.
[00:04:05] Yeah, it's.
[00:04:07] I just can't seem to muster up the energy to get really engaged back online right now. It just feels so, so ridiculous. And like.
[00:04:21] Like, it takes so much work. And maybe.
[00:04:24] Maybe flirting after 40 is me alone and happy. I don't know. I mean, that could be what this is.
[00:04:35] But I know you guys all tuned in because I'm here to talk about a sex club.
[00:04:46] No, I.
[00:04:47] I had a. I have a friend who reached out to me that listens to the podcast, and.
[00:04:54] And I actually, I've had several friends reach out or that I've talked to in the last couple years about, like, my poly lifestyle, or I would. I'm not a swinger, but about kind of like, that lifestyle, what that looks like, or just general questions about, like, what is it, like, if, like, to go to a sex club?
[00:05:18] And my friend reached out and, like, saying that her boyfriend was maybe interested in going, and, like, have you ever heard of this? And I was like, oh, yes, I've heard of this. So we're talking about.
[00:05:33] In.
[00:05:34] Just outside of Denver, Colorado, there is a sex club called Scotland Scarlet Ranch.
[00:05:40] There's also a couple other sex clubs, but I've not been to them, so I can't really speak to it. But Scarlet Ranch in the area, and I think nationally, almost is known for the reputation of being, like, a really classy, nice, really nice place.
[00:06:02] The first time I ever heard about it.
[00:06:07] Well, I think I've heard about a couple times, but I was in a poly relationship, dating.
[00:06:12] And the. The guy I was dating, his other partners, they would always go.
[00:06:21] His wife had a boyfriend, they would go. And then he had a girlfriend, and they would go.
[00:06:28] Like, the four of them together.
[00:06:30] I know some of you guys are like, how does that work? But, um, it's, like, really, like, right down the street from me. But it. It used to be an old, I believe, an old steakhouse, and I was way, way too scared to go for years. Like, I'm not.
[00:06:55] I'm not comfortable being naked around people I'm not comfortable with.
[00:07:08] Like, I'm not. I don't know. I think, like, I'm sure, like, sometimes when I talk I'm like, I'm not a prude, but I. I feel like I still have some.
[00:07:21] And prude is such a bad word. Prudish tendencies of, like, where it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know. I'm not. Like, this world was all new to me and. And I think probably that's where a lot of people are when they start or they want to maybe talk about it or go to a sex club or go to a sex party. Is like. They're like, this is.
[00:07:46] I've never been. It feels super uncomfortable. I'm. I don't know, Like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't. I, like, I don't know. For me, it was like, put myself in the most uncomfortable situation I could ever put myself in and commit to going and do it. And so for a long time, I turned it down. I was like, I'm not going with you. That makes you uncomfortable. I'm not like, my. The guy I was dating at the time took other people.
[00:08:19] That's a whole nother story.
[00:08:22] But I was just. I was like, no, I'm not comfortable. I. And I wasn't comfortable because I was like, I don't want to share you.
[00:08:33] And I thought maybe it was like a big orgy or something.
[00:08:37] I don't want to. I couldn't imagine, like, seeing him, like, kiss another woman or yet I knew he had a wife and another girlfriend or other girlfriends. Like, was just. I. The idea of seeing it is what I think really held me back.
[00:08:56] So.
[00:08:57] Okay, so the first time I went, I was dating Elle and Richard, and they're. They're married and they're like, let's go.
[00:09:15] And they had been before.
[00:09:17] I had not. And I was super, super uncomfortable. So I met them there and, like, I was like, I don't know what to wear. I don't like, like, all the things that you don't like. I don't know.
[00:09:31] I can't remember if they have theme nights. I don't think it was a theme night.
[00:09:35] So I wore, like, cute underwear and a dress because I didn't know.
[00:09:46] And when you come in, like, you have to sign in.
[00:09:52] I believe, you know, men get in for far cheaper if they have a woman with them.
[00:09:59] It's a membership based. It was not cheap. So I would also say that, like, you know, you. You invest in this and it.
[00:10:09] So you get people that are also investing in it as clientele.
[00:10:15] It was, bring your own booze. They don't serve alcohol. But you have to Check your alcohol and then they will serve it to you. And they have mixers.
[00:10:25] So I think I brought like a bottle of wine and you tag it and put it behind the bar and you're there. Like, you get. And I don't remember how they tag you, but like a wristband or something that shows your number and they'll pour you your beverage at whenever you want.
[00:10:41] There's also a restaurant there. There was a band playing.
[00:10:44] And like, upstairs here, it was like kind of like an old dog cabin. There's couches and different rooms. There's a pool table, and then there's a whole outdoor space, like fire pits and just cabanas and outdoor lounging.
[00:11:02] But, like, you walk in and I felt immediately better than I ever thought I would. Like, the people are nice, the bartenders are nice. It's like.
[00:11:18] I don't know, I pictured maybe like a Hooters on crack or like Hooters in a, you know, a bum town. I don't know. I don't know what I had imagined, like, with people having sex everywhere. I don't know. Like, I was probably overdressed maybe. Like, I had a. I had a dress on.
[00:11:43] There are people there naked. There are people in lingerie. There are people in dress, dessert people in suits. There are.
[00:11:51] There is like a dress code. Like, you. You need to walk in looking presentable. There are lockers when you walk in that if you want to disrobe and store your stuff, you can. You want to store your purse, you can. Like, all the amenities that would make you feel comfortable are available.
[00:12:13] And like, it is just like upstairs was just a. Just imagine like a classy bar restaurant with some half naked people, people sitting on each other's laps, people flirting, like, but it wasn't.
[00:12:31] It was really. It. I don't know. It felt really nice and it was very nicely done.
[00:12:38] Outside space, again, really nice.
[00:12:42] Not like skanky hot tubs, I don't know. And then you can walk around.
[00:12:49] Downstairs now is where there's a little bit more fun.
[00:12:54] There is a group room where there is a ginormous, let's call it like four king beds. Like, kind of in the middle of the room for group play.
[00:13:08] There are, like, kind of seats around the sides. So if you wanted to watch, there was some like, BDSM crosses, you know, things that you could be strapped to.
[00:13:27] And then the other area there was like individual.
[00:13:32] I would call them indoor cabanas. Individual indoor cabanas that had like, I believe they were divided by walls. And then There was, like, a curtain.
[00:13:40] There's a curtain in front that if you went in one, you could close the curtain and you could have privacy, or you could leave the curtain cracked if you wanted people to be able to, like, peek in and watch. You could leave the curtain open if you wanted, you know, an audience.
[00:13:59] There was also, like, showers outside of that area. There was somebody that was, like, changing the beds.
[00:14:05] There's towels available, like, really nice. Like, nice space. A nice space.
[00:14:15] And everyone was very, like, consent is a must. And, like, if someone was fooling around in the cabana and wanted to join, like, they would ask you, like, do you mind if we join? Or do you mind if we watch? Or, hey, maybe when you're done, would you, like, another person?
[00:14:45] And there was no problem saying yes or no or, no, thank you, or not now, or somebody could be watching you masturbating, or somebody could be watching you, and then they're kids getting it on with their girl outside your cabana just, like, having their own fun.
[00:15:05] I never felt.
[00:15:07] I never, like, I went with the couple, and I mean, I was a part of their third. I mean, a part. I was a third, but I was part of them.
[00:15:17] But I never felt, like, uncomfortable.
[00:15:23] I never felt, like.
[00:15:25] Like anybody that came up and talked to me. I never felt, like, oh, God, like, scared.
[00:15:32] It was just really, like, fun, and everybody was having a good time.
[00:15:38] And I also went another time, and it was summer, and it was like a Sunday afternoon for somebody's birthday with the same couple and then somebody she was seeing. And that was a totally different scene, too. So, like, the outdoor cabanas were open, and we had rented a cabana.
[00:15:56] And so people were having sex in their cabanas, or there's, like, lounge chairs, like, sunbathing naked, and they had a slide with bubbles.
[00:16:07] I would say, not as, like, down and dirty, but, like, just more like beach vibes.
[00:16:16] But also, like, you could still go inside and go downstairs and to the group sex room or the group room room, and have fun.
[00:16:24] I wasn't into that, but I was down there watching, and an older gentleman sits down next to me, and, you know, he's talking. We're just talking. Like, you would talk to anybody at a bar. Like, how's the lasagna? I don't know. Like.
[00:16:44] And he's like, do you mind if I masturbate?
[00:16:47] Like, I'm. I'm sitting next to you, and, like, he asked me permission, and I'm like, I. Yeah. Like, I'm not helping you. Like, go for it like.
[00:16:57] But there's that level of respect that I found very comfortable. Like, this guy didn't want to make me uncomfortable. Even though I'm sitting there watching people have sex or do whatever they're doing, like, sitting next to me, like, maybe that got him off. But I was like, yeah, I'm just not participating.
[00:17:18] Great. No problem.
[00:17:20] You know, I've always at the bar getting drinks. Like, I feel like men. I talk to men in general, and they were always super, super polite and super nice. So, I mean, I didn't hook up with any of them. But so, like, my thing is, like, you could go and feel comfortable and you could go with a partner and just be with your partner. You could go with your partner and explore. You could go and just watch. You could go and just sit at the bar and just.
[00:17:52] If you're, like, nervous and you're like, I don't know, like, go sit at the bar, have a couple drinks, see where the night leads you. Like, I'm just. It was by far such a better experience than I ever anticipated.
[00:18:06] And I found it clean, safe, really nice.
[00:18:14] And, like, I don't know, I felt like everybody, like, people are also worried, you know, like, oh, my God, what if I, like, I'm uncomfortable naked? And I mean, I just told you guys start out to start off, I was. And I feel like everybody, like we're all human and like, I don't know, I felt very, very fine, very safe, very seen in who I was, which was also extremely liberating.
[00:18:45] So I don't know, it's. I'm giving a shout out to Scarlet Ranch, and I think.
[00:18:50] I think if anybody is thinking about it, it's worth at least, like, it's worth a visit. And like, again, you don't have to go all in. You can ease your way in or just.
[00:19:04] Or just go, I don't know, go have a steak.
[00:19:09] All right, you guys, you ready for today's funny? And don't worry, I'm sure I will talk more about.
[00:19:18] About this in upcoming episodes, but please let me know if you go and let me know what you think.
[00:19:24] Okay? So, my funnies for the day. And when you wonder why I don't date, just. Just remember my funnies.
[00:19:34] This guy, he's, like, not ready to jump into a relationship anyways. I.
[00:19:42] And this might work for somebody. So, like, I'm not talking on this, but I just can't.
[00:19:47] I just can't.
[00:19:49] I ran a haunted house for years, so I'm a little dark sometimes.
[00:19:54] I love cars. And have several, including a 74 for hearse.
[00:20:03] Yeah, yeah. Like, you drive a hearse. Like, I'm not like. And you ran a haunted house. Like, are you gonna kill me?
[00:20:13] Pass.
[00:20:17] This guy makes no sense. Looking for a hiking slash gym partner. No chest tattoos, crazy hair colors, bull rings accepted.
[00:20:26] Do your own things. But, yeah, can't do me unless you sick.
[00:20:32] He's 37. I don't even know what that means.
[00:20:35] I don't even know what that means. You guys like and dun, dun, dun.
[00:20:46] My favorite of the night, Benji.
[00:20:51] He's looking for his next 25,550 at the nightstand.
[00:21:01] Well, okay. I did talk in a previous episode about, you know, body count.
[00:21:07] I don't think I want to be 25,551.
[00:21:11] Like, bro, I. I'm assuming he's joking, but there was no smiley face and there was nothing else in his profile except for that. But wait, there's more when I scroll down. But, like, that's his opening. And, like, if you're gonna be funny, just be funny. But that's just.
[00:21:28] I'm wondering if poor Benji ever finds somebody.
[00:21:31] And then one thing I want to do that I've never done before is you.
[00:21:45] And then the. His movie he can watch over and over is Princess Bride.
[00:21:50] Yeah.
[00:21:52] Yeah. Sorry, Benji.
[00:21:55] Hard pass, you guys. It's horrible.
[00:22:02] Okay, thank you guys for listening this week.
[00:22:08] I appreciate it. Please, like, pass this podcast along to somebody recommended to somebody who hasn't listened.
[00:22:15] I'm just. I love all the love, and I hope you guys have a great week. Thanks.
