Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Hi there, it's Tracy. Welcome back to flirting after 40.
[00:00:05] Today in Denver, it is May 6th and we had a snowstorm.
[00:00:13] You guys have like, heard me complain about the weather all winter, I feel like. And we got several inches of snow and the kids had a snow day.
[00:00:23] So it was actually, I mean, I feel bad because it's that like, thick or not thick, but like heavy wet snow, you know, that like crushes the trees and you know, downed limbs and power outages and stuff. But we're good here. It's just. I feel bad for the trees and the plants and. You know, when I moved to Colorado, they always said you don't like, don't plant anything before Mother's Day and Mother's Day is Sunday, so. Tada.
[00:00:56] But it was, it was really nice. It, I don't know, like, I felt like this little reprieve of a day. The kids needed it. I needed it like something. I felt like a kid even last night, kind of looking forward to the potential of a snow day. And I feel like it's the end of the year, it's May, so anybody who has kids is going through this, like, end of year crazy. I mean, I feel like May is just absolutely insane.
[00:01:29] So it was awesome. I, they, they slept in. I worked from home.
[00:01:35] It was just a really, really nice day.
[00:01:40] And you know, I haven't been doing a ton, but I, I wallpapered my powder room this last weekend and I did the peel and stick wallpaper.
[00:01:56] Now I had bought wallpaper probably eight months ago with the idea of like, I wanted to do the powder room and I, and, and get the like, it's a small, It's a really small room.
[00:02:08] And I was. And I only did two walls, but it was so daunting that it literally has sat in my like, foyer, foyer for eight months. Like me being like, okay, maybe today I'll do it or maybe I'll hire somebody. And the procrastination has been killing me. And I bought a new mirror to hang and like, it has just been fucking sitting there.
[00:02:32] Two weeks ago or three weeks ago I tried to do it and I got up like two pieces and then I went to bed and I woke up the next day and they were like on the ground crumpled, all stuck together.
[00:02:46] So I did some more research on like, how to get it to stick. And I have like textured walls, so it's not great for that.
[00:02:54] But I was determined last weekend to do this and I ended up buying more wallpaper because I realized I miscalculated Even though I have a fucking degree in interior design, people, I should be able to calculate how much wallpaper I need. But I also didn't account for me messing up as much as I did. And math, you know, math.
[00:03:20] So I.
[00:03:21] And it's, it's very loud. It's like this pattern that's like dark blue or like this like brighty dark blue. I don't know with like flowers and mushrooms and it's very whimsical.
[00:03:35] But this weekend I was like, I'm going to undertake this. And J Man and I were hanging out so he was like, okay, Friday, like you do your wallpaper, I'll just order us food, I'll work.
[00:03:46] And I got one wall done on Friday and that probably took me four and a half hours.
[00:03:58] And that was the easy wall.
[00:04:00] So we went out on Saturday to lunch and I was like, okay, I'm going to do it. And then I had a couple drinks in me and I was like, oh, that's. This is not going to happen. So Sunday morning I got up and did the.
[00:04:15] The majority. The rest. The rest, which is the bigger wall and it has like a sink and a toilet and things to cut around. And my walls are nine feet, so I'm five foot.
[00:04:28] Lots of ladder. My, my butt is sore from climbing up and down the ladders. I have bruises on my legs, but I got it done.
[00:04:37] And not that you care about my wallpaper, but the moral of the story, you know, things with J Man are good.
[00:04:47] I'm just kind of still in the same place of trying to like figure out if I should be feeling something different than I'm feeling. But he was awesome during this. He did not insert himself was very helpful. Like it would have taken me probably another like three hours without him just climbing up and down the ladder and grabbing things. And he was supportive and encouraging without being over the top.
[00:05:13] And I think that really matters.
[00:05:17] I know like home improvement projects with a spouse or significant other is sometimes brutal.
[00:05:27] And I know, I mean I manage construction projects for a living, that I'm a really good supervisor.
[00:05:37] I can give you my opinion.
[00:05:39] I have ways I think things should be done. Yet I'm not the one that does the work usually.
[00:05:48] And when I do do the work, it takes me a long time. I'm not an expert in anything.
[00:05:55] I mean even this. I had to like take down a light and safe, safe things off and then install. Like it was just, it was a lot harder than I thought.
[00:06:06] And it was awesome that J Man supported me during that. And he was a great. He was a great helper. I think a lot of men normally would want to, like, come in, save the day and do the work. And he has been clear since the beginning. He's like, I am not your, like, guy that's going to come fix shit around your house. Like, that is not me. So it was nice. It was nice to see that we worked well together.
[00:06:34] I also had a mirror that I couldn't get down, and the fuckers glued the mirror to the wall and, like, little me with my crowbar trying to get the mirror off and, like, worried I'm gonna, like, shatter the mirror. Anyways, he helped me with that and was kind of. It was kind of sexy. Like, it was.
[00:06:56] I don't know. I've always had a thing for guys that can do things around the house. And I know he's not that person, but he did.
[00:07:04] He did have his moment. So.
[00:07:09] Anyways, anyways.
[00:07:11] And I just am so excited because we just heard the news, but my son made the high school freshman basketball. It's the summer basketball league that, like, feeds into the spring. But he made that team and he didn't.
[00:07:32] He was sick. He's been sick. And tryouts were on Monday and he was sick and he came home and he was like, that was horrible. I'm never trying out again. Like, I don't think I made it. And I. You know, I.
[00:07:44] As a parent, you can't. You have no control and all you can do is support your kids. But I.
[00:07:52] I really wanted him to make it. I really enjoy watching him play. And he did. And I'm so proud of him. And I'm so proud of him, even if he didn't make it, but that he's actually working really hard to force something.
[00:08:12] I don't know. It's fun watching your kids grow up.
[00:08:16] So this coming weekend, like I mentioned, is Mother's Day.
[00:08:21] And I don't know if you guys recall from last year that Sam couldn't. Didn't even acknowledge that it was Mother's Day and I lost my mind.
[00:08:37] If you. If you haven't heard that episode, it's worth going back and listening, because as a mom, especially as a divorced single mom, Mother's Day is really important. And it was really important when I was married. You know, I think mothers do so much. And there's so. There's this. You know, they talk about the invisible load that the. That the mom that the woman carries.
[00:09:08] You know, the grocery list, the sports list, the. We gotta do this. We Gotta sign them up for this. They need lunch money. We're out of, you know, fucking oranges for the kids. Like, oh, my gosh, I gotta get them to the doctor. Everything that we think about all the time that needs coordination is things that, you know, our kids don't see sometimes things that our spouse or significant other doesn't see.
[00:09:39] And I just think Mother's Day needs to be.
[00:09:44] I mean, it is a national holiday, but it needs to be celebrated because moms are fucking badasses.
[00:09:52] So I just want you guys to know that, and I want you to celebrate.
[00:09:59] If you have a mom that's around, if you have a wife, if you have. If your children have a mother, even if you're divorced, make sure you fucking celebrate her. My.
[00:10:14] I don't know if I told you guys the story, but it was like a year or two after I got divorced and my kids were little. So, like, the kids are little, and they don't.
[00:10:25] You know, they don't know that it's Mother's Day coming up. They can't. They're. They were too young. Like, maybe they made a card, I think, from preschool or daycare.
[00:10:35] But, you know, they're babies. They can't, like, celebrate it with you.
[00:10:43] And, you know, I was divorced and.
[00:10:47] But you guys know my. My relationship with my ex is pretty good. And that Mother's Day, he didn't do anything.
[00:11:01] Like, he didn't do anything from the kids for me, or, like, lately, like, we do. Like, he. We will each, like, send each other a meal or bring a meal over.
[00:11:13] There was nothing. And I rarely have gotten upset with him. Like, I might bitch about him here and there, or I might complain to you guys or roll my eyes or bitch in private or to friends, but I rarely make him aware of my frustrations.
[00:11:34] And.
[00:11:36] And I did. And he was very apologetic and has never, ever forgotten Mother's Day again.
[00:11:44] And so this year, my mom is actually flying into town. My mom is from Michigan, and she has not been here in, like, a year and a half to visit.
[00:11:59] So she's coming in for Mother's Day, and I. We have the. I have the kids, and we're going to have.
[00:12:05] I don't know, it's going to be chill, but I just.
[00:12:09] I'm excited. I'm so excited for my mom to come in and for me to be able to, like, take care of her and make the day special and make the week. The whole week she's here special and take care of her and cook for her, because she did that for me. And I just.
[00:12:27] Yeah, I think I just have this, like, passion for the. The holiday.
[00:12:31] My kids asked me, they said, why?
[00:12:36] It's not fair. It's not fair that you have two things you get to celebrate. You have your birthday and Mother's Day. Like, we don't have a kid day.
[00:12:45] And I was like, fuck off. I was like, every day is kid day. Like, the amount of fucking shit I do for you guys, every single day is kid day.
[00:12:55] So, no, you don't need a dedicated. Another dedicated day for gifts and bullshit. But I do.
[00:13:03] I do.
[00:13:05] So.
[00:13:07] Also, something I don't know, that you can maybe share an idea. Me, my kids started doing this years ago was we make a list because.
[00:13:19] So, like, they don't get me gifts or they might make a card, but they.
[00:13:24] They want to. They want to feel.
[00:13:26] And this is as a single parent. Like, I think my kids want a way to make the day special, but also without seeing their dad do something or following the lead of a dad or a family member, you know, whatever. They don't see how they can make the day special.
[00:13:48] So I started this a couple years ago. I make a list from A to Z, like, every letter of the Alphabet down a page or two.
[00:13:57] And we assign a task or something we're going to do that starts with that letter.
[00:14:04] And that sounds maybe kind of daunting, but it's super fun because they get to help with the list.
[00:14:12] So, like, I have some old lists, but I don't have them with me. So I don't know. A could be appetizer. Like, okay, we're going to make an appetizer for dinner. You know, I don't know what that is. B, A back rub. B. It could be, you know, bottomless mimosas.
[00:14:32] B could be book. Like, we're going to sit and I'll read a book.
[00:14:37] C, like, I don't know, like a card.
[00:14:41] Like, so then they make a card. And then D could be like, dog. So, like, we're all going to walk the dog together. So just. It could be like all little baby things, but their involvement. And then we cross things off the list that we've done.
[00:14:56] And I will tell you, it's become one of my favorite traditions. So if.
[00:15:03] I don't know if you're looking for something, and I even think it works for older kids, too, because, I don't know, I just.
[00:15:10] It makes me happy. So it's an idea and a way to celebrate. It could be to celebrate any day, but I want to acknowledge the moms out there and just, I see you.
[00:15:23] I hope your family celebrates you. And if not, I do. And I hope you get to celebrate it in whichever way you want, whether that's with your people, whether that's at the spa, whether that's in your car reading a book. It's like, do something regardless of what your family does for you, for yourself. Because being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done.
[00:15:48] And I am.
[00:15:52] Yeah, I. It definitely gives me an appreciation for my mom and for everybody that has this job as well, and privilege. So.
[00:16:04] All right, I.
[00:16:06] I got some funnies for you guys. Now, this one is kind of long, so bear with me. And my other one is short. But this guy, do you guys remember?
[00:16:16] This is a totally different guy. But do you remember the guy that, like, was comparing women to cars?
[00:16:24] Or like, he wants to be on a podium with a hot wife next to him because he drove his car fast?
[00:16:31] I don't know what the fuck it is with men and and cars, but all right, this goes on and on. So I don't even know if I'm going to read the whole thing. But this is Jason Online dating can be as dubious as randomly shopping for a quality used car.
[00:16:52] We input our preferred search criteria to browse the various available results, expecting to find appealing and compelling options.
[00:17:06] Sooner or later, we learn more about the I don't even know what this word is. More about the lingo and similarities found in the major in the majority of ads in parentheses dating profiles. So we refine our search so it could be easier to spot the models and quotations that may work for us while identifying the obvious lemon cars with no real warranty.
[00:17:36] Oh my God guy. I just want to like puke all over him. As a car guy, I'm not solely interested in appearances. While we all know looks can be quite deceiving, I am primarily. I primarily require consistent performance with a minor risk of major issues, so insight about the inner workings is critical.
[00:18:05] This is so horrible. When searching for a quality used car, it is imperative to also consider its full history, maintenance records, and current condition. For example, how much damage did the previous accidents parentheses relationships cause?
[00:18:24] Has it been restored properly? Any functional concerns or safety recalls?
[00:18:35] A used car car's overall condition rating can range from excellent to poor. So choose wisely since I assume most want a bonafide investment, one that is reliable, durable, and in tune with us so we can eagerly hit the road together.
[00:18:55] I swear to God, I just want to know if this guy, like, gets any Fucking responses. I just like, I really want to know if this works.
[00:19:07] And then he goes about, he says, my degrees, career and salary are not my entire identity and I can actually talk about a wide variety of topics without making everything about me. Dating should not be difficult. And I'm making a. And I'm seeking a mutual, a mutually satisfying connection. I only ask that you be authentic. However, your version. However, your version of. Of authenticity mainly consists of being self absorbed, boorish, unrealistic, or worse, your self righteous can. I don't even know what these words are. We are definitely not compatible.
[00:19:47] Just the same, a sense of humor is definitely a must. For me, this means being able to take life in strides and laugh about things along the way, including yourself in bold caps. We all have the tendency to take ourselves way too serious at times, so having a healthy level of emotional regulation to help keep matters. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm not picky about physical characteristics, but I will admit to being a sucker for a great smile. I believe a truly natural smile is the best thing you can ever wear. It's invaluable if I'm the one who can make you smile and laugh. Even better.
[00:20:24] A bit longer than most profiles you'll find here. Holy, dude. It's taken me 30 minutes to read this.
[00:20:30] I wanted, needed to create one with real substance. Real substance. Talking about how women are like used cars. I disagree. But as opposed to producing just another mundane profile full of pictures with no overt personality. Personality, person, person. I can't even. I can't even read. I'm so over this personalized content.
[00:20:53] Oh, I need a drink after that profile.
[00:20:57] Like, seriously, do we think anybody is like, ooh, I'm. I'm a really good used car model. Like, my prior accidents have been expelled. I don't like what the. Like, my bumper needs a little lift. That's what I should. That's it. Somebody should respond back.
[00:21:18] My. My headlights are in working condition and my bumper needs a lift.
[00:21:23] Okay. Anyways, I'm cracking myself up the last funny for you guys for today, and I feel like we probably. You guys probably only listen for these because it's. I mean, these are worth it.
[00:21:35] Okay, this guy, he, in his picture, he's got a shirt off and he's. His hands are in his pants and he has got tattoos all over his neck and his chest. Again, nothing wrong with tattoos.
[00:21:51] He says about me. I spent 31 years in the pen. I just got out two weeks ago and haven't had sex in over three decades.
[00:22:00] So prepare to have long, intimate sex for many, many hours.
[00:22:07] I just wish I could interview these men and be like, okay, did anybody respond? I mean, I think there are women that are definitely into guys that have been in prison.
[00:22:17] I'm not one of them, but many, many hours. Three decades. It's a long time, bro.
[00:22:28] All right, thank you, guys for listening, as always. Go celebrate your mothers, please, please, please.
[00:22:35] And have an amazing week, and I will talk to you next week.
