Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:04] Hi there, it's Tracy. Welcome back to flirting after 40.
[00:00:10] So this.
[00:00:12] This last week, I.
[00:00:16] I received my first fan mail.
[00:00:21] Like, I've had people that I know have, like, you know, told me what they think about the podcast and even, like, people that I went to high school with that I haven't Talked to in 20. Oh, my God, 25 years, 30 years, I don't know, 1998, forever ago, have sent me messages. But I got a message on Instagram. You guys can all follow it at flirting after 40, where she just told me that, you know, she really enjoys the podcast. And you guys, like, that brought me a lot of joy because sometimes I feel like I'm just here talking to myself, and I know I'm not. I know, like, the stats show, like, a ton of listeners, but, like, I don't know. You don't. You don't really know. And, and usually, you know when it's bad because somebody, like, will reach out if it's bad. But that was just one. One ex husband.
[00:01:19] But this woman reached out and, and just to tell me that she really enjoys it. And her story was that she gotten divorced, I think it was five years ago, and ended up getting remarried to her then ex husband. And like, just, I. I think, I mean, I'm just interpreting her. Her words is just, you know, that there's.
[00:01:45] There's always hope. You, like, you just. You never know.
[00:01:48] And I know I'm not getting back with my ex husband, but, like, her. Her journey, that happened, and I think that's amazing.
[00:01:57] And so, like, I just. I don't know, some of, you know, it was really, really, really reassuring to me that what I'm doing maybe hits other people.
[00:02:10] Um, and then she gave me feedback, which I love. I love feedback that I say chat gtp.
[00:02:20] And like, you guys, you. I've been talking about Alex and this forever, but it's GPT.
[00:02:32] So I say gtp and it's GPT, and. And I don't know if I can fix this. I'm. I'm dyslexic.
[00:02:41] And like, when she said that, I was like, girl, what are you talking about? I don't. I don't say chat gtp.
[00:02:49] And then I, like, said it to myself again. And, and. And, okay, so jet GTP is also jet Chat GPT.
[00:03:00] I will do my best to try to get it right, but I cannot. I cannot make any guarantees. But anyways, I just want to say it was the sweetest. It was the sweetest thing. And it. And it actually Totally made my week.
[00:03:22] I just think that's super funny.
[00:03:25] So also, like, this week, my coworker, like, so I've told you guys, I work in construction. I have never dated someone that I've met on a job, like, ever.
[00:03:44] But, like, it's totally kind of. It's. It's totally my type. Like, the blue collar. Like, somebody that can, like, fix something around the house. Like, I really. I really do find that attractive. So me and my coworker, we've been on this project for, I don't know, let's say a year. I think it's almost been a year.
[00:04:06] And we have a superintendent, and he's a very, very kind man, and, like, super nice, super helpful.
[00:04:21] And, I mean, he's very. He's also attractive, but I have never.
[00:04:28] I've just never thought of him in that capacity.
[00:04:34] And she texted me the other day.
[00:04:37] She was like, what about B? We're gonna call him B. What about B?
[00:04:45] Like, what do you think about him? Do you think he's like, he's cute, right? And. And I responded. I was like, oh, he's totally cute.
[00:04:56] But I think. I was like, I think he's probably married. I. Like, I know enough about him that I'm like, he's probably married. Has, like. I know he has a daughter that's graduated or graduating from college. Like, he's older. Like, he. I don't think he's single, you guys.
[00:05:14] The world works in such crazy ways.
[00:05:20] So that night, I was.
[00:05:24] This is a whole nother side story. Sorry. There's stories within stories, but I was on hinge because my matchmaker.
[00:05:35] I'm not.
[00:05:41] I love her dearly, and she has found me a very amazing match.
[00:05:46] But her latest ways of wanting to match Meg have just not panned out. I will tell you guys the story in a minute, but I was like, let's get on hinge and let's see what's happening. What is she doing? Who's out there?
[00:06:06] Let me micromanage a little bit.
[00:06:09] Which I'm really not a micromanager, but I felt the need. And.
[00:06:16] And then. Side story, part three.
[00:06:20] The Savannah Bananas are. Were in town this last week. They're a. Like, I. I equate them to, like, a Globetron tro. Globetron Tronner.
[00:06:31] Anyways, they're like the funny guys of baseball. I can't even say the name.
[00:06:38] There's a funny guys with baseball, and they were playing here in Denver at Coors Field on Saturday and Sunday, and on a lot of the, like, Women pages or dating pages in Colorado. There was comments like, the Savannah Bananas are in town. I see a couple. These guys are unhinged. Anybody hooking up with them, etc. I'm like, I'm not, I'm not chasing any. I'm not chasing anybody. But I was. So. Okay, now we're back to the original story.
[00:07:10] I'm sorry if I'm confusing anyone.
[00:07:13] I'm on Hinge on behalf of my matchmaker and I have the Savannah Bananas, like, stat. Like, there's these baseball guys out looking for hookups online.
[00:07:25] So I see a baseball player on my Hinge profile. So I, I just click it. Like, I probably would have just swiped.
[00:07:36] Like, he looked young. I would have swiped and not had paid attention. But I open the profile and it happens to be B who I work with on a project, who my colleague was like, do you think he's hot? The exact same day?
[00:07:57] And like, what, what are the odds that out of a year I've been working on this project with this person and him. And on this exact day, she asks me, like, what do you think about him? Do you think he's single? Do you think he's attractive?
[00:08:14] And then he appears on Hinge like, and these are the things that happen to me and hence why I have to have a fucking podc. Like, I'm like, holy shit. How? Yeah, yeah, like, that's him.
[00:08:33] So I'm technically his client.
[00:08:37] I just liked one of his photos and I said it was something about, like, I could make you laugh during something, something, something. I don't even remember it was. And I'm like, All I said was like, I'm sure you can make like, I'm sure you're capable of that, like, laughing. It was a very innocent, non flirty, just response.
[00:08:58] I have not heard anything back. It's been, it's been about a week. And like, that's fine. I just had to share. You like, what, what the what?
[00:09:09] Like, what a small world. And I don't know, like, I, I again, I've never dated anybody that I've worked with.
[00:09:18] Sorry. That I've hired.
[00:09:24] So I don't think anything is going anywhere with that. But I just had to share. It was like such a coincidence.
[00:09:33] Okay, so my J Man update.
[00:09:38] Okay, you guys, like, I told him, like, I would prefer if you don't listen to the podcast.
[00:09:47] But like, I'm also like, you have free. Like, you, you are free and capable of doing anything you want.
[00:09:56] So he, he has listened. He listened to the last two Episodes.
[00:10:02] And he came over, this was last week, and was like, hey, I like, like, immediately, like, hey, I listened.
[00:10:12] And, like.
[00:10:17] Like, he didn't have anything, like, bad to say. He was like, everything you said was, like, things that I knew we talked about. Like, there was nothing crazy, surprising. And if, like, if there was or I was uncomfortable, like, I wouldn't be here.
[00:10:35] And like, okay, that's. That's reassuring.
[00:10:40] I also had amazing day with him on Saturday. We went to brunch and hung out, and he told me. Then he listened to another episode and he was just listening to the ones that were about him, not. Not my past, which I asked. Like, it's fair. Like, I don't know if I was in his position, if I could not listen, if someone was talking about me, if I could just trust in them and avoid listening.
[00:11:12] But, like, I told him. I'm like, it's. It's kind of like a diary because the things that I say on this are.
[00:11:21] They're not scripted.
[00:11:23] I am not trying to be somebody. I'm not. I'm trying. Not trying to impress anybody. I'm not trying to protect anybody. I'm just talking from my heart about how I feel about something.
[00:11:35] And so while I know, I mean, anybody can listen, it's out in the world. Like, it just makes me.
[00:11:47] It makes me uncomfortable because I want to be able to speak freely. And not that I can't speak freely with him, but the things you say to someone, I would probably say gentler to them in person.
[00:12:02] And, like, I have nothing actually, like, really nothing bad to say.
[00:12:06] It's just.
[00:12:08] I don't. I don't know how this will pan out. And it gives. It gives me a little anxiety because I. I do like him.
[00:12:16] But we're not exclusive. We're not. We've. We've not had any conversations like that, nor do we need to. We've had, I don't know, like, five dates. Like, I just don't know what to do with it.
[00:12:32] So I met last week. I met on Friday night, and I had a couple beers with Sparky.
[00:12:42] And, like, I had told J, man, like, I'm going to have a couple beers with someone, but, like, I didn't. There was no need to go into detail about who or where, why or how or whatever.
[00:12:55] And, like, I haven't told him. So if he's listening, this will be news to his ears. But, like, I met with Sparky and we had a couple beers, and it was so great to see him, and he is like, I'M just.
[00:13:14] You guys know, like, I told you, he, like, I was the first person he went out with after he got divorced and were se it was separated.
[00:13:25] And I think, like, he's still. He's. He's still dealing with a lot of the things that did, like how, like, held us back.
[00:13:37] But he's dating someone new and he seems super into her, which is amazing.
[00:13:46] Like, I.
[00:13:51] I have this thing with him where I, like, am emotional. Like, I get.
[00:13:59] I get emotional, like, out of nowhere, and I'm, like, emotional even talking about it. And, like, I don't even think it. Like, I don't think it has to do anything with him.
[00:14:11] It's just I have this, like, connection with him that makes me feel safe and seen.
[00:14:22] And so, like, when I talk to him, I get to just show up as I am. And anyways, it was really cute. He was sharing a lot about, like, not a lot, but, like, a little bit about his story and the woman he's dating and that, like, she has met his kids and he's met her kids. And, like, it's just like, I don't want him.
[00:14:54] Like, I don't.
[00:14:56] But, like, it just.
[00:14:58] There was so much potential that. That just, like, stung a little bit. And, like, I know he listens to this too, so it's like, that's not.
[00:15:11] That's not a secret.
[00:15:13] That's not.
[00:15:14] That's not me wishing I was with him. I just.
[00:15:20] It's.
[00:15:21] You know, I'm being real. Like, it sometimes is hard to see someone you cared about just moving on. And again, like, I wish nothing but the absolute best for him, and I want him to, like, fucking kill it and be loved and be validated and be happy.
[00:15:48] And I. I am. Like, I know my soul. It's not me, because if it was, it would be, but, like, me talking about this right now.
[00:16:01] And if J Man listens, like, I have not had that conversation with him.
[00:16:07] So I don't really know how to navigate sharing my life and trying to build a relationship with someone new that then listens or reads your diary.
[00:16:24] I don't know.
[00:16:28] We. So J Man and I had brunch and then we.
[00:16:33] Which was amazing. Like, you guys, like, I. I actually find myself every time I see him, every time I talk to him, I feel more connected.
[00:16:46] And that's also new to me. Like, I'm not used to not having this, like, immediate, like, yes, and, like, I want to be with you all the time kind of connection, which is probably really good. This is probably a really Good thing for me is to, like, ease in to this relationship where you actually get to know someone and build your connection. So I feel like we're doing that. And I. And I'm.
[00:17:20] I'm gonna see him tonight. Like, and I know it'll be. I mean, like, I know it'll be fun, but, like, he's insanely compassionate, very real, very chivalrous, and it's just something new that I haven't experienced. Like, so we. He came over to my house, we had brunch, and then I was like, come back over. And we stopped by his house and picked up his dog because goes, I have a dog. Like, let's bring the dogs. Like, the dogs can hang out.
[00:17:52] And unfortunately.
[00:17:55] Oh, his dog is. She's so sweet. Our dogs got into a argument over a toy within, like, five minutes of meeting. And his sweet girl bit my dog. Freddy bit his ear. And I don't know. Like. I don't know. Like, I think it was. They were just fighting over toy, and it happened. And I'm.
[00:18:18] No part of me is upset because I don't. I don't know how to introduce dogs to each other. Like, I don't. I don't know how to do this, but Freddie's ear was bleeding, and he was so empathetic and so worried about Freddie and so mad at her, but I wasn't mad at her. But, like. Like, clearly we didn't know what we were doing, and we just like, hey, you guys can play, and you guys are nice, and it. And it didn't work out, and he ended up having to take her home. And he came back, and it was like, I understand if you don't want me to come back. And I was like, no. Like, I don't know. I think maybe my conditioning from kids is, like, there's always something. There's a skiff, like, a scuffle, or there's something like, I. I was not mad. Freddy's fine, you know? And. And in the next couple days, he was like, oh, my dog has a apology gift for Freddy, which is super sweet. Like, he. He genuinely, like, was super worried about it and super concerned and, like.
[00:19:31] But also, like, I don't know, like, didn't freak the fuck out. And his demeanor in all of it was very calm and reassuring and kind and, like, at the end of the day, like, that's the kind of person I want. I want the person that, like, acknowledges, like, what happened?
[00:19:50] Like, how do we fix it? How do we move on?
[00:19:53] Is everybody okay? Like, ownership, I guess. Like, ownership.
[00:20:02] So I, I don't know, I have like, my, my hopes of what this could be increase every time I see him. And, like, I think he's a, like a really good person.
[00:20:20] And. And just because I have stories and I'm doing other things because, like, we're not. We're not a couple, like, doesn't make me, like, not want to talk about it. So it's this.
[00:20:38] Maybe I'm not making any sense, but it's this crazy, weird balance of knowing someone you like is listening to your stories about your life that doesn't include them just yet.
[00:20:52] It's really hard. But the thing I want to do and be is the authentic person and the person that I said I was going to be on this podcast is talking about the things that. The things that are things and the things that are happening. And if someone is reading my diary or listening, it might not always be what they want to hear and it might not be what they expect.
[00:21:18] But I'm.
[00:21:20] I'm gonna show up for me and I'm gonna show up and y' all get to hear. Y' all get to hear it.
[00:21:32] Okay.
[00:21:33] I have enough funnies to probably record a 40 minute message right now, but I'm gonna, like, scale back. So I know I'm running a little over.
[00:21:43] So my matchmaker, this is why I'm questioning her judgment.
[00:21:48] She has a friend, jj, that she wants to set me up with. And I'm like, I'm not sure about this person.
[00:21:58] And she asked him, she said, like, one of my girlfriends, like, she asked him if he was single and he said yes. And she's like, she mentioned the idea of, like, meeting up with one of her girlfriends and his response was, I'd love to hang out with you girls, but I'm not looking for a relationship. I've just been seeing randoms and then like, but she's still pursuing this and wants me to maybe meet him. And I'm like, she says, I'm so laser focused on this happening. And I'm like, no, I don't, I don't want to meet a guy that is in that spot in his life as a, I don't know, 55 year old, 40 year, I don't know how fucking old he is. But, like, I do not have any desire to meet up with a guy who's like, would take somebody's like, I would like you to meet my girlfriend. Like, I think you'd be a good match to like, nah, I just want to hook up with randoms.
[00:23:04] So, matchmaker, I think I might be cutting you off.
[00:23:10] Like, you made one really good match, which I'm, like, super stoked about still. But, like, I'm not sure I'm behind. Then the other match.
[00:23:22] Okay, so.
[00:23:26] So I got back on Hinge. I got. I logged in to my Hinge account that she's managing because I'm like, what is happening? And, like, seriously, zero likes. No likes.
[00:23:38] Like, she's. And I asked her, I was like, how many likes are we getting? And she's like, like, maybe two a week. Like, I. I don't know. Maybe the algorithm. Algorithm knows that she's. I don't know. It's just so fucking fascinating. But this guy.
[00:23:54] Okay, this is a good one.
[00:23:56] Who liked me.
[00:23:59] The. The way to win me over is be a good and loyal girl.
[00:24:04] Are you kidding me? Are you like, are we looking for women with daddy complexes? Or, like, are you a dom? Like, be a good and loyal girl. Like, let me pat you on your head.
[00:24:19] No fucking way.
[00:24:21] And then.
[00:24:22] And then he says a random fact. I love. Only 14% of all American men are 6 foot plus.
[00:24:31] And if a woman also wants an educated man who also makes over six figures, that's only 2% of men, which means I'm in the top 2% of men in America. I should be a huge hit on dating apps.
[00:24:47] What the. You're so, like, ego, ego, ego, and, like, egotistic, and you want to parade because you're over 6 foot and make over a hundred thousand dollars. Like, I. I. And I think I'm like, I feel like his stats are so wrong.
[00:25:13] And you. You are not the top 2%. Like, fuck off, dude. And if that's the kind of shit you want to put on your profile, like, best of luck, bro.
[00:25:26] I'm so, so fucking appalled. Anyways, I have, like, so much more, but I guess it's going to have to wait till next week.
[00:25:40] I don't know, you guys, thank you. And find me on Instagram, send me the love messages. Like, I'm not kidding.
[00:25:47] Really.
[00:25:48] It really made my day. And, yeah, so wish me luck in how tonight goes. And if he. If Jamie listens to this and if he decides he's just over it, I don't know. We'll see. We'll see.
[00:26:05] But at the end of the day, like, I'm honestly just looking for a person that wants to do life with me and have an amazing time. So thank you guys for listening and have a lovely week.
