Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:05] Hi there, this is Tracy. And welcome to flirting after 40.
[00:00:11] So this last week I spent in Michigan with my boys and my family.
[00:00:19] It was my parents 50th wedding anniversary.
[00:00:24] Cheers you guys. Cheers to them.
[00:00:27] How in the world do people stay married for 50 years?
[00:00:32] I've.
[00:00:33] I can't even fathom what that feels like or what that like would be like. I mean they've been married for more time than I've been alive. They've spent, you know, almost every day together for 50 years.
[00:00:51] And I know like back in the day, like things were, were a little different, you know, and women needed the support of men and that was the expectation is that you get married very young and divorce wasn't an option and you just stuck it out.
[00:01:15] Now I think my parents truly do love each other and I think they have a pretty good marriage.
[00:01:24] I'm.
[00:01:25] I don't really know though. My parents never talked to us about the ups and the downs or when things were good or bad. They never shared that kind of information with us. It was.
[00:01:36] You just didn't talk about it. And I think that's, that's where I am. Like, I just don't under. I just don't get it. I don't get how you don't talk about things like that. And maybe they do to their friends.
[00:01:48] You know, you just don't talk to your kids about it. But I don't know. I'm an adult. Me and my sister are adults now. It would be, it'd be lovely to hear the real story. And maybe they don't.
[00:02:01] I mean, maybe I know the real story and they're. I don't, but I don't think so. I mean, I would love to know the challenges that they face. I would love to know the challenges that they've overcome. I would love to know like how they do it because it just blows my mind, you know, I think it's pretty cool for my kids to see that and celebrate that with them.
[00:02:28] I remember celebrating my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary with them.
[00:02:34] And I remember, you know, being younger and like thinking how insane that was and it is. And I, these days, you know, I really don't know a lot of people that will hit that mile milestone, you know, it just 50 years.
[00:02:52] I mean, I can't even really imagine what it'd be like to spend a month with someone at this point in my life. And I don't know, I don't know how you maintain a relationship. Like, I don't know how they've maintained it without therapy. And I mean, honestly, I think my mom is the one that has just stuck through it. And she made the choice when she got married, or she made the choice somewhere early in the relationship or even maybe continually throughout the relationship that this was the path that she chose and she was going to stay and that there was no other option. Or maybe, I mean, option sounds bad to say, but there was no other life.
[00:03:40] And that regardless of whatever happened, this was the life that they chose and this was the life that they would see through.
[00:03:49] And I applaud that. And I also, like, that gives me anxiety because I just. I can't imagine myself ever being like that. I can't imagine myself just saying, you know, you're just going to stick it out no matter what.
[00:04:08] Because to me, I'm like, I expect evolution and I expect growth, and I expect that, you know, people show up for each other, but that there has to be growth on both parties.
[00:04:25] Like, there has to be growth from both. Both people.
[00:04:29] And. And I'm sure there was for them.
[00:04:32] I just, I see the relationship and I just. I don't. I don't understand.
[00:04:39] I don't understand it. And we're celebrating 50 years, and I am, like, I'm very happy for them, and I do truly believe they are each other's people.
[00:04:52] I just. I just don't know if I am cut out for that.
[00:04:57] Um, anyways, we asked them a lot of questions about, like, their first date and their first, like, meeting and how do they meet and how did they get engaged and what was their wedding like and things like that. And there these stories. Like, I'm sure maybe I've heard part of them before, but my dad, I guess, proposed to my mom while they were sitting on a couch and was like, what are you doing next Wednesday? Would you like to get married? And this was after knowing each other for a couple months, and she said yes. And they got married at the courthouse that following Wednesday because they had it off work.
[00:05:37] Like, that's insane to me.
[00:05:40] But, you know, like, that, I guess, was probably kind of how it went back in the day. There was these. There probably weren't these crazy big long engagements or maybe they just didn't want it. And that's. That's super cool, too. They got married at the courthouse, and I know my grandparents were their witnesses, and then they went to St. Joe, Michigan for their honeymoon night.
[00:06:08] Like, I mean, I think it's pretty. It's a pretty cute story.
[00:06:13] And, you know, it's just. It's I don't know, I just, I just cannot imagine it. And I know I have some friends that have parents that are either like near that 50 year mark or something like that and have totally different stories and I believe are crazy in love and. But, you know, maybe share the challenges a little bit more. I don't know, I just, I would love. I would love to know the real story of what it's taken to make it work for 50 years.
[00:06:53] I mean, not a whole lot of people hit that milestone. So anyways, it was, it was a great week, you know, celebrating them. My kids were actually really well behaved for the, for the most part. Minus a few, A few hiccups.
[00:07:12] Yeah. And so, I don't know. Cheers to 50 years, mom and dad.
[00:07:19] So my update on last week is, you know, I was telling you guys about my matchmaker on Hinge and that I had a date last week with J Man, we're calling him, and the date went really good.
[00:07:34] He's really smart, definitely smarter than me, which is good and weird.
[00:07:45] Not weird. I mean, I think there's a lot of guys that are smarter than me, but he seems kind of like the intellect type that wants to really dive into some of those deep conversations. And I don't know that I've had that in a. In a really long time.
[00:08:01] We went and had a couple drinks and had a. I mean, honestly had a really good time. I will say he's very tall. He's much bigger than I am. And that's, you know, a good thing for me.
[00:08:16] Not necessarily like, my, like, look kind of guy, like.
[00:08:23] But this is good. This is why the, maybe the matchmaking maybe will work because he is not the guy that I would stereotypically pick out.
[00:08:33] And I think that's probably really good for me.
[00:08:39] I don't know. We did. We had a really, really nice time.
[00:08:45] There was, there's one point, like we were leaving that we had a little bit of a. I'm not saying it was a tiff, but he kind of pooh poohed and those are his words. Like, I'm sorry for poo pooing your idea.
[00:09:00] I was sharing an idea of something I'm doing and he was very cynical about it.
[00:09:08] And that doesn't sit well with me.
[00:09:12] I definitely need and am looking for somebody that is supportive and encouraging and understands that I'm a little like, a little crazy. Like, I have some crazy ideas such as this podcast and things that I do that so people might feel like it's a lot or make them uncomfortable. But what I'm really looking for is in a partner is somebody that can take a step back. I mean, I want feedback, but I also want encouragement.
[00:09:50] So it was, it was interesting because it was a, it was a conversation that was happening as we were walking out of the restaurant that was closed. Closing, you know, so like it was kind of a weird situation anyways. And he poo pooed my idea.
[00:10:06] So I got home and you know, I texted him to thank him for the drinks. He was very kind and bought drinks. But I did offer and you know, he did apologize immediately. He's like, I'm sorry for kind of raining on your idea, your parade. And like, I'd like to hear more about it. And so there was acknowledgement. Like he felt that I probably was taken aback but not necessarily like the best for first date.
[00:10:41] And it's interesting. It was, it was kind of fun.
[00:10:45] It was actually really fun meeting someone that I didn't know was really, really anything about like I knew his name and I knew like just very minor details. So I didn't have also any preconceived notions. I didn't have any like anticip. Like I wasn't anticipating anything. It was, it was really nice to go into a meeting, very open minded. And I just showed up as I was like, I showed up in jeans and a tank top and just, just me. I didn't get all dolled up. And he had come from work and he was in a suit or a sports coat and slacks and like dressed up. And that was, that was new too.
[00:11:38] But it was, it was, I would give it like a 7 out of a 10.
[00:11:44] Very polite and what I really liked and I think there's a lot of women that are around my age that find a lot of men are very like sex. And the idea of sex or discussing sex or like being physically intimate with somebody is like a must have immediately.
[00:12:07] And it was nice to just have a date to get to know somebody. And there was no kiss at the end. There was no, there was no conversation about it. Like sex came up in general, like topics, but not like, oh, are you. You know, I think a lot of men are like touches my love language, which means, you know, they like sex, clearly, which I don't blame them. But I do believe that a relationship is based on a lot more. I feel like I'm evolving, which is good.
[00:12:42] So anyways, the date was good.
[00:12:45] We have made plans to have another date.
[00:12:49] And you guys, he actually, he offered a couple ideas like what Kind of food, you know, And I said I narrowed it down to, like, Asian or seafood. And he made dinner reservations for us for Saturday night. Like, I have never.
[00:13:06] Okay, never. Maybe is a strong word.
[00:13:10] Maybe not. I don't know. Like, I honestly cannot remember the last time a man made dinner reservations.
[00:13:20] Like, planned a date. Like, picked a place and made a reservation. And it is so simple. Like, it. You can do it online now. You don't even have to call anybody. You don't even talk to anybody. Like, that made me realize, like, I had been. Or I have been settling.
[00:13:37] Like, I really think I have a little bit. Like, and not that, like, I need that all the time, but it was really. It was really sweet.
[00:13:49] And, you know, I'm going to go with it. So we have a date on Saturday. I have checked back with my matchmaker and things are not progressing as well as she would. Like, she said, you know, she's like, she's frustrated because no one ever responds when she makes a comment or asks a question.
[00:14:14] And I'm like, girl, I know. Like, it's crazy. And she did, she did say she took away all references that her friend. That I have a friend managing this for me just to see if that changes the dynamic. Like, if she is, like, reaching out to people and asking a question and people just don't respond. Like, it's not because I have a friend trying to do this. It's truly because, like, people just suck.
[00:14:45] However, I will say she said, you need to check out what your new most irrational fear is.
[00:14:54] And I can't believe she wrote this for me.
[00:14:59] And this is her speaking on my behalf. And this is not my most irrational fear, but it might now be, is that a spider will bite me as I sleep. Then a bump will form and grow under my skin. In the weeks ahead, I will go to the doctor who will lance the bump, and 100 baby spiders will come running out.
[00:15:17] That is disgusting.
[00:15:19] And it was not my worst. It was not my most irrational fear before, but it might be now. And now I maybe learned something more about her, but I also am like, well, maybe men aren't responding because that is so disgusting.
[00:15:34] Or maybe they should respond because that is so disgusting. Like, girl, you're fucking batshit crazy.
[00:15:42] But no other. No further movement on.
[00:15:47] On the matchmaking at the moment. But I have faith in her and I will say I will give her a kudos. I mean, the first one she set me up on, like, I mean, I haven't had two dates back to back in a whole Long time. So like that alone feels like success and alone that, you know, he j man is not someone that I would typically seek out.
[00:16:17] And I think that's probably a really, really good thing. So. To be continued.
[00:16:26] So my funny for the day. I have two again, you guys. I'm not on the dating app, so it's really hard for me to find the funnies when, you know, I'm relying on somebody else. But I am in a couple, like dating Facebook, dating groups and things like that.
[00:16:47] But somebody posted this and this just gives. It's not even funny. It's just icky.
[00:16:53] Hey, you worthy, valuable. Okay, sorry, let me back up. You should leave a comment if hey, you worthy, valuable and amazing person. You're back. And that's not a bad thing. You still believe in finding someone as amazing as you. Keep shining brightly, darling. You're the star someone is looking for.
[00:17:13] Okay. At first, you know, you read that and you're like, that's sweet. But you guys, like, it feels icky. It gives me the ick. Like, you're back and that's not a bad thing. Like, you don't know anything about me. I don't know, maybe I'm just being overly critical, but that alone gave me the ick. And then I'm working on. I have a project I'm working on and I have solicited feedback. I've hired people to test this product.
[00:17:50] Anyways, in a professional email, a gentleman writes me, hey, angel.
[00:17:58] And writes me like a professional email.
[00:18:04] Okay, angel calling somebody angel is not okay. In a professional setting. It's not okay. Like, I don't know most the other time as well.
[00:18:17] Okay. And then. Okay, I guess I do have one more funny, but this is not a funny funny.
[00:18:23] This is back to my fish thing.
[00:18:28] It's. There's on word porm.
[00:18:33] There's this they, you know, post just sayings and it says, no girl has actually seen a picture of a man holding a fish and thought he has a lot of talent and skill and seems really adventurous and fun. I would like to have sex with him.
[00:18:47] So maybe let's stop doing that. Yes, let's stop doing that.
[00:18:52] It was funny. I was in Michigan and my son was all gung ho on fishing.
[00:18:58] Ian brought his fishing pole and didn't catch a single fish the entire time we're there.
[00:19:03] And I was sitting in.
[00:19:06] I was sitting in a little floaty at a beach talking to my friend and the kids were running around and I had my son's little fishing net with me and I caught a fish in the little net. It was a baby minnow.
[00:19:26] It was like one inch big.
[00:19:31] But I caught a fish and I I should have, because it would have been funny. I would have enjoyed it. I laugh taking a picture of myself holding the the baby minnow and put that on my dating profile for all the fish fans.
[00:19:46] Anyways, you guys, I promise I'm gonna I think I need to get back on the dating app, or a dating app, just to find us some more funnies because, you know, I'm running out of ideas here.
[00:20:02] But anyways, thank you guys for listening. And, yeah, I will keep you posted on what will this be like date number 5 or 6.
[00:20:13] So working. Working to get to the 25.
[00:20:17] Anyways, I hope you guys have a great week. Thanks.
