Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:19] Hi everyone, this is Tracy. Thank you for joining flirting after 40.
[00:00:25] For those that don't know me, please feel free to listen to my about section. But I am almost 45, single. I have been divorced for seven years and for 2025 my goal is to find love. The big, great movie kind of love.
[00:00:47] I don't know if that exists, but I have created this podcast and my blog in an attempt to broaden my reach, learn from each other, share my lovely dating stories, and ideally, at the end of the day, find the person I'm looking for. I have been on match.com and Bumble for the last six months. Prior to that, I had been on bumble, hinge, feld, OkCupid, Facebook dating and tried to find people out in the wild.
[00:01:29] And truly finding someone at a bar or at a restaurant or at a coffee shop or farmer's market or through friends has not been successful. So I'm stuck with the dating app. And to be honest, like, it's. It's kind of a shit show out there. You know, I found match.com to be catered to more, I would say older, older people or people that are just recently coming out of marriages.
[00:01:58] It's my generation's, like, first ever dating app. You know, back when dating apps were invented, I don't know exactly when that was, but, you know, match.com was all the trend.
[00:02:11] And since then, you know, Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, all these others have come out plenty of fish, but I have not found an app that I just am magically in love with. So I share the love. But, you know, anybody who's dating knows that multiple apps, it takes a lot of time. All the swiping, all the communication, it's. It's really difficult to keep it all up. So my goal is to focus on two. I would love to understand or know if any of you all have a preference in which app you use. But, but I've never used Tinder, so I think I'm going to give that a try and create a profile there.
[00:02:54] Funny story, I was on Bumble and communicating maybe like two or three messages with this gentleman. And, you know, it's hard. I have two boys, I run a company.
[00:03:06] It's hard to find time to keep up conversations, especially when conversations suck or just are flat. So I wasn't, I didn't respond to this. This one man, and he sent me this message, maybe I'll keep your attention if your toes were in my mouth.
[00:03:28] Really, dude? You really think that's what I want to Hear, I mean, hey, maybe somebody out there like, like that, hey, that, that all, all the better to them. I mean, maybe had he asked to rub my feet, I would respond, but I don't need my toes in your mouth, strange man. You know, like, this is what we're dealing with and this is the shit that makes me not want to date. However, I don't know what else to do. I don't know where else to go. So I'm on these apps, you know, and then there's people with these horrible profiles.
[00:04:07] Like I, I'm not a, I'm not a good writer. I don't think, I don't believe I'm a good writer, but I believe I'm genuine and I believe I can ask for what I want and state who I am in an articulate form. Todd59, this is what he has to say. I know I'm dating an adult when, okay, anytime I say the word you, it is the letter you. You know, like my 12 year old would do in a text to me.
[00:04:38] Remember, Todd's 59.
[00:04:41] You start answering questions about me and not you. I want know about you, wants and likes. It's about us. And not just one, zero punctuation in that. Even though I probably inflated some Todd, I mean, 59 years old and this is what have to choose from.
[00:05:07] My 12 year old truly could have wrote, written a better profile. Like, I don't know what to do with this. I don't know. Like there's between that and AI generated profiles and bots talking to you from somewhere across the world and then there's just this shitty dude. I mean it really, really puts a damper on dating, you know, like there was a guy, I looked at his profile, he seemed like a nice guy, but in every single picture he was giving a thumbs up. Every single picture, like 10 thumbs up, thumbs up.
[00:05:49] Like, I don't want to date the thumbs up guy. Can we have a little variety?
[00:05:55] I mean, maybe I'm asking too much. Maybe, maybe creating a dating profile is, is hard for some people.
[00:06:03] Um, I thought about being a, a, a online dating coach just to help people be able to say what they want to say about themselves and ask for what they want and post a decent fucking picture of them. You know, one that's not 20 years old, one that's not blurry, one that's not in their dirty ass bathroom, one that they have clothes on.
[00:06:29] I don't know. Like I just, this shouldn't be that hard, you know, and then, and then you get to the stage of messaging each other. And that is another shit show. Like, if someone could respond or send me a message, that is a little bit more than, hey, hey, hey, hey, how's it going? How's your day? I don't know you. I don't really care about your day. You don't know me. Why would you ask me about my day? You don't even know what I do. Like, you know, how about, hey, your dog looks really sweet. How long have you had your dog? Hey, where do you walk your dog? Well, that might be a little creepy, but, like, put a little effort. Read the profile. Put a little effort in after thumbs up guy had a guy send me this message. He says, I'd also like to know if I don't know who Robert Palmer is, but apparently, if Robert Palmer had you in mind when he wrote the song Simply Irresistible.
[00:07:49] Okay, let's look up this song, because I, I, I know the song, but I don't know that Robert Palmer wrote it. And see, Simply Irresistible, y'all. I'm a terrible speller, so you'll have to. Oh, Robert Palmer. All right, with, with the, you know, the ladies in their scant. They're scandally dressed with their red lipstick. That was released in 1988.
[00:08:19] I was eight years old. So, no, dude, I don't, I don't think Robert Palmer was writing about me when he created that song, but thanks, bro. I don't know. Like, what am I, what am I supposed to say to that? And then he let. He, you know, sent a link to YouTube in case I didn't know. The song leaves me in a really, really not good space. And I don't have a lot of faith, but I did meet my first husband on OkCupid. That's for a whole nother story, but, you know, I know there are some good people out there. I am currently dating someone I met on Match. He seems like a really good guy, but is he the one? Is he making a commitment to me? No, that's okay. But I'm still out looking, and I'm left some of these horrible, horrible men.
[00:09:22] A nice young man wrote me.
[00:09:25] He says his next, next message to me, which I didn't respond to the first one, it says, if you don't want to date me, I can start the adoption process with your approval, of course.
[00:09:39] What. What say you, lady?
[00:09:42] So I don't want to date you, so now I get to fucking adopt you and wipe your ass, take care of you. What are we, what are we talking about? Like, I I'm at a loss. I don't know where people come up with these ideas.
[00:09:55] So you are going to get to join me on my creation of my new Tinder profile.
[00:10:17] All right, so I've entered my. My birthday. Yikes. And my school, Michigan State University.
[00:10:27] Now it wants to know my lifestyle. How often do you drink? Let's talk about this. Do you guys tell the truth?
[00:10:35] I mean, that's a, that's a. That's a sticky answer.
[00:10:40] I'm gonna say socially, on weekends, slash most nights. Oh, I can't pick both.
[00:10:50] Do we be honest? Let's say most nights, I don't drink a ton. A ton. But I definitely have a glass of two glass or two of wine a night, so better to be honest.
[00:11:04] How often do you smoke?
[00:11:06] Non smoker.
[00:11:08] How often do you work out?
[00:11:11] Sometimes trying to get better. About that, too.
[00:11:14] We have a dog. We have a dog. We don't have any other pets.
[00:11:18] All right, what else makes you you?
[00:11:21] What's your communication style, guys? I hate talking on the phone.
[00:11:27] I hate it. I, I, I try. I try. I had a relationship once end because the gentleman thought that I should be calling him and FaceTiming him because our relationship was in that. At that level. And he broke up with me. Well, we weren't really a thing, but he ended our dating because I just texted.
[00:11:53] However, for the record, he never fucking called me either. So my communication style. Big time texter. But, ooh, the other option is better in person. Absolutely. Better in person. How do you receive love? Oh, we got all the love languages here.
[00:12:11] I receive love by time spent together.
[00:12:17] Education level, Bachelor's and my zodiac sign. I am a Capricorn.
[00:12:24] I would love. I would love for somebody to come on and teach me about what the stars have to say and what zodiac signs make for better matches. That would be. It would be fascinating. Okay, recent pictures.
[00:12:42] We'll do that later.
[00:12:47] Gosh. Please, please, people, please don't post pictures from 10 years ago with your kids. Don't post pictures with your kids.
[00:13:02] Don't post pictures with your ex girlfriend. So we're all wondering, who's that girl? I can never measure up to her.
[00:13:13] All right, I'm just posting some pictures just to make this fast, and we'll come back. This is exciting. Tinder has an option to block people you don't want to see, such as your exes. You know, psycho cop, vegan chef. I don't want to see these guys on here. Maybe you don't want to see your boss. I don't have a boss, but maybe I don't want to see my clients.
[00:13:39] Meh. Maybe I do. I'm kind of snoopy like that. Nice feature Tinder.
[00:13:47] I am not going to block anyone at this moment, but it's good to know that I can.
[00:13:54] All right folks, here we go.
[00:14:01] Okay, so I've loaded six pictures.
[00:14:06] They are all within the last six months.
[00:14:12] Ooh, this is hard.
[00:14:15] The first one has a picture of me and a bottle of wine and a huge ass plate of pasta. I mean, well, maybe some of those healthy guys won't like that, but they're probably not for me either.
[00:14:31] All right, About Me Fun, honest and dating with intention. I have two sons and a good relationship with their dad, a loving hub and my own business. I love to travel, train at restaurants and bars and spend time with those who really matter to me. I'm sure I can improve the about me but that's where we're starting. Interest, self care, travel, foodie drama. I'm five foot one. I'm looking for a long term partner that is monogamous.
[00:14:58] Many stories on non monogamy after this family plans I have children. I don't want more. I'm vaccinated better in person and I like time together.
[00:15:10] All right you guys.
[00:15:14] Job title, founder, company have to ask but involved hard hats and I am in Littleton, Colorado. Let's let's get that posted. I'm 100% with my profile. I will keep you guys updated on how this goes.
[00:15:33] I probably have to pay.
[00:15:36] Gosh, they really do get you here to find out who likes me. Unless I want to spend endless hours swiping aimlessly.
[00:15:45] But wish me luck. Let's see if Tinder is a little bit better than Match and Bumble. Time will tell.
[00:15:56] I'd welcome feedback. I've always been big on feedback.
[00:16:00] Please be kind.
[00:16:03] If not, you're an asshole. But I'm sure there's a there's a few of you out there. But feel free go to my webpage flirtin after40.com I will be posting my profiles for critique, feedback, et cetera. Maybe no friend. I am in the market.
[00:16:28] You know, no younger than really 40, no older than 54. I don't need a baby. I'm looking for a relationship, not a one night stand. But you know, maybe you have a brother, cousin, colleague, friend.
[00:16:46] Feel free to share the profile.
[00:16:49] But yeah, I am open to feedback so feel free to check it out, leave comments, send me a note and I will be keeping you guys up to date weekly on my progress, my dating life, and some really interesting and funny stories from my past, as well as some amazing guest speakers. Women that are going through the same thing, men that are going through the same thing, we're in this together. You guys like dating after 40 suck. And I'm trying to bring the fun back. I'm trying to make it fun for myself and hopefully fun for y'all. So thank you for listening. Have a great night.
[00:17:43] Sa.
