Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:06] And welcome back to flirting after 40.
[00:00:10] Happy Father's Day to all the dads that listen. I hope you guys had a great Father's Day this last weekend.
[00:00:22] I. I know I shared my story about, you know, Mother's Day and just kind of the letdown that it was.
[00:00:32] And I always try to make Father's Day special for my kid's dad.
[00:00:39] You know, it's hard when, you know, it needs to be from them. It needs to. It's not about, you know, our relationship. So I had gotten. Me and my little one were at the store, and he got him a card, and we got him some sunflower seeds because they were traveling, you know, But I asked him, I texted my ex, and I said, you know, like, what.
[00:01:04] What would you. Like? Like, they were. They were in Nebraska, and I. You know, I was like, I can send some money with the kids. You guys can go to breakfast. You can do. Or I can buy you and your dad dinner, because, you know, I'm not there.
[00:01:20] They were driving back that night.
[00:01:22] Or I can send dinner when you guys get home.
[00:01:25] And his. His response to me was, a bottle of bourbon would be just fine.
[00:01:34] No, your kids are not. Like, your kids cannot participate in a bottle of bourbon with you. This is Father's Day. This is not.
[00:01:42] What do I want as a gift holiday?
[00:01:47] I was like, really, dude?
[00:01:49] And, you know, I was gonna let it go, but it's me, and I can't let it go. So I.
[00:01:57] He ended up texting him back and was like, no, that's not a suitable Father's Day experience. You know, you get to pick a meal anyways. Just slightly annoying, but I am working very hard to let.
[00:02:18] Let some of this go.
[00:02:22] But, no, you don't get a bottle of bourbon for Father's Day, but happy Father's Day to all the other dads out there, and him too. But I hope. I hope you guys were all spoiled and, you know, got to recognize and. Or were recognized for all that that you do for your kiddos.
[00:02:42] You know, my. My ex did take that. It was my weekend, and he took them.
[00:02:47] Not very well coordinated. It's fine. But you know me, like, three weekends without my kids, and that's a lot. I kind. I kind of miss them. They're at this, like, really fun stage, and I thought I would share this because I think it's. It's hilarious. They.
[00:03:08] My older ones, you know, they're going into high school, or my oldest one is going in high school, and he had some friends over, and they Were asking me like, what's your like, go to pickup line?
[00:03:18] And I was like, you guys, like, I don't have a go to pickup line. Like, I'm not really a pickup line kind of person.
[00:03:28] But they are like, they were fascinated by this. And so they were sitting, having dinner. I made dinner. And like, just like rattling off pickup lines. And some of them were like, really raunchy. I was like, let's be clear. If you can't say a pickup line in front of your mom, you probably shouldn't be saying it to a girl. Like, let's just put that out there.
[00:03:51] But they were sitting at the kitchen table, just back and forth.
[00:03:55] They say dating is a numbers game. So can I get yours?
[00:03:59] Aside from being this good looking, what else do you do in your free time?
[00:04:07] Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
[00:04:13] Like, they were. It was just funny. I hope you know CPR because you just took my breath away.
[00:04:19] Like, Like, oh, gosh. It was just.
[00:04:28] Do you like Mexican food? Because I want to wrap you up and make you my babrito.
[00:04:34] Like, what the. Can you imagine if, like, I mean, I mean, they're in high school, so this is, this is funny. But like, if you were actually out and somebody like a grown ass man like came up to you with, with one of these pickup lines, I don't know.
[00:04:58] I had an awesome pickup line, but I forgot it the moment I laid eyes on you.
[00:05:02] I tripped while looking at you. I guess you owe me a new pair of shoes.
[00:05:06] Like, oh my gosh. So they were just hilarious and going back and forth with their pickup lines. And then I'm probably a bad mom because like they. I was sitting outside and they came up, they came outside and they're like, mom, you know, we. We have a proposition for you.
[00:05:30] We want to go golfing.
[00:05:32] We want to sneak onto the golf course and go like, like once it's closed at like 9 or 10, like, can we borrow a couple of your clubs? And is this okay? And I'm like, you know, it's like, no trespassing. Like, if you get caught, like, you could get in big trouble. But I appreciate you letting me know what you're doing.
[00:05:56] I was like, I'll leave the back door unlocked in case you have to run from security or whomever.
[00:06:04] I'm like, don't go on the front door. I don't like telling them how to get away from the security or the police. So. And you know, but I did ask the one kid, I was like, would Your mom. Is your mom gonna be mad that I'm like, I'm not lessing this, but that I'm acknowledging that? He's like, oh, no. You know, my mom thinks anything related to golf is acceptable.
[00:06:25] Like, oh, my God, I'm such a bad mom. And then, like, so, like that. And then the pickup line. And then I was taking them to basketball the next day, and they're in the car, and they're like. They're talking about how summer dating or summer flirting is like, spring training or training for the real season. Like, meaning that high school, once they get on the high school, like, that's the real season. And, like, all the game that they've learned in the summer will propel them into being successful during the season. So I just. I think it's so funny, and it's really. It's really cute and. And hilarious.
[00:07:05] In all honesty, I also.
[00:07:13] My friend.
[00:07:15] I've had a couple friends tell me that I need to watch Ted Lasso.
[00:07:20] And for some, you know, backstory, the lieutenant who I dated, he went off and started his own, like, motivational speaking.
[00:07:39] He goes and speaks at conferences, and he does trainings about.
[00:07:47] It's. It's to do with law enforcement, but also, I don't know, but his.
[00:07:54] His foundation, or what I believe is his foundation for starting this was Ted Lasso and the message, you know, the sign of believe. And, like, even if you haven't watched Ted Lasso, I'm sure you've seen this yellow sign, believe.
[00:08:13] And, you know, that's really a lot of the foundation of the show.
[00:08:17] And I.
[00:08:19] I just couldn't stomach for. For. I mean, gosh, I haven't been with him in four years probably, like. But it still really irks me.
[00:08:35] So I'm going to back up also. Well, he.
[00:08:40] So I just felt like there was this connection between Ted Lasso and him and this concept, and I wouldn't be able to enjoy it and that it would just remind me of him. So I. I never watched it, but I was out with my friend this last week, and she was like, seriously, like, you would. I think, you know, I know you have some. Some baggage with this, but I think you would really like it. And it's. It's really about badass bitch bosses and about, like, community and.
[00:09:18] Anyways, so I was like, okay, I can be strong. I can try this. And I started watching it on Friday, and it's amazing. It's. I'm through half of the third season now, but I am.
[00:09:37] I'll probably watch it again, it's.
[00:09:40] It's so, like, it's so enlightening. It's so, like, it's funny. It's deep. It's incredibly powerful. I think for women, it's, you know, it is about believing and the. The temperament of Ted Lasso and the lightness and how, you know, remind. I. I don't know. There's so much good in it already. Like, how you show up matters, and we all have control over that. And I just.
[00:10:16] I'm excited. Like, I want to. I want to watch it again and I want to do like a whole podcast about it because I.
[00:10:23] I just find it. I was just.
[00:10:26] Yeah, I have no words. I'm like, I was thrilled by how.
[00:10:32] How much I enjoyed it.
[00:10:35] So.
[00:10:37] But, you know, while I was watching, makes me obviously think about the lieutenant.
[00:10:47] And then I am. I use the word stalking, but I'm not stalking. I'm just, like, looking them up. But it made me go back, you know, and like, do some recon and just see what they're up to. I didn't reach out to anybody, but, you know, and he's. He's married. I talked about that, which, again, I find this fascinating. And then I went back to.
[00:11:12] There was a guy that I went on one date with.
[00:11:16] This was right when I was getting divorced.
[00:11:19] And I had met him.
[00:11:23] I had met him at a volunteer event.
[00:11:26] And he and I just like, sparks immediately. And this was a work through work. And even the team I was with was like, oh, my God. Like, you guys, it is very clear there's something happened. Like, there's something going on.
[00:11:46] And I've never had a connection like that where I just met someone and was like, oh, my God, like, you there. It was like a very. I mean, it was. It was definitely, like, physical, but, like, I just wanted to be in his.
[00:12:02] In his world, in his space. And it was instant.
[00:12:08] And like, so we, like, during the whole volunteer event, we were. We were painting or staying a fence.
[00:12:14] I had, like, literally not showered that day. I had a hair. My hair in a ponytail. I was wearing an old T shirt. Like, we were scrubbed out.
[00:12:22] And then, like, I took the team, I remember, to go grab lunch and a beer. And he and I just sat next to each other and talked the whole time.
[00:12:31] And then I was leaving and he, like, ran up to me and gave me his number or I. No, actually, what it was is I.
[00:12:46] I gave him my number. I had a business card. And I was like, you know, you should call me sometime.
[00:12:52] And an hour later, he called me and he was like, I just. I don't know what this is, but I think we definitely need to go out. And I was like, I agree. And then I was like, hey, I just, you know, I am in the process of. Like, my divorce was almost final.
[00:13:10] I was very clear about that.
[00:13:13] Like, I didn't wanna, you know, like, it. I was in a. It was kind of messy.
[00:13:19] He was like, well, I need to be honest with you. I am living with some. I'm dating someone. And I was like, oh, God. Like, I don't ever want to be that person, you know, But I was like, well, let's meet for drink.
[00:13:38] We met, chemistry was amazing.
[00:13:44] Ended up like having a kiss in the parking lot, which was still probably one of the best.
[00:13:50] Like, it was just so good. Everything about him felt good. Minus that he has a girlfriend.
[00:13:59] He. He then was very clear. He was like, you know, I can't do this to her. I do love her and she's been great to me and I can't, you know, I can't let this go. And I was like, that's. That's fine. Like, and then we would keep in touch now and then. And I think I probably told this story at one point about dry humping on a couch. But anyways, it doesn't matter.
[00:14:25] He and I never got together and it was just a blip, you know, But I was going down this tunnel of like looking at the lieutenant and who was married. And then I had to look up, you know, this. This guy, a volunteer guy.
[00:14:46] And we were friends on Facebook. We're not. He been friended me, but. But like, I could still see and see who is. I know his girlfriend was. I can see her thing and her profile pictures, them getting married.
[00:15:01] And they. She looks so beautiful and they look so happy and.
[00:15:08] But man, like, he's married.
[00:15:11] And then the lieutenant's like, and. And none of these guys were like, I wasn't. You know, it wasn't the idea to get married, but you do sometimes wonder. And I know a lot of women wonder this. Like, I feel like not with necessarily lawn chair guy, but like we. We help fix men not fix, but like we help them through their lives and then they get to a place where they're more stable and then they find somebody else.
[00:15:48] And it's a little, like, it's a little stingy.
[00:15:53] I mean, I've had this experience so many times. Like even in college, like my high school boyfriend, college boyfriend, the girl he met after me, he married.
[00:16:09] Yeah, it's Just a weird, It's a weird feeling of like, well, I got you ready for that. I don't know, it's not like about me, but it feels like it is sometimes.
[00:16:20] And then he didn't like Sparky.
[00:16:24] I think I'm blocked from his life, which is fine. That's his decision.
[00:16:31] It just we, I thought we were, we had a good friendship and like, I knew he had, he had found somebody he was really interested in and he was trying to. He was doing like working on his life and not drinking. And really I was really excited for him.
[00:16:54] But like, I reached out, I don't know, like a couple months ago because I was at a brewery nearby where he works, and it was like about the time he typically got off of work. And I was like, hey, if you want to come grab a non alcoholic beverage with me, like, I'm at this brewery, let me know. And he responded, that was fine. And then, I don't know, I texted something else about. It was like something sports related and no response. And I'm like, oh, I'm. I'm blocked, I guess.
[00:17:27] And that kind of sucks too because like, I thought we were friends. Uh, and, and maybe, you know, you can't. That's his decision. Maybe you can't be friends with someone you dated. I think you can.
[00:17:44] Maybe his new partner was like, I don't want you talking to someone you dated.
[00:17:51] Which I don't like either. But again, not my relationship.
[00:17:55] But that same feeling of like, I don't know, I feel like he and I spent time together and helped him through and navigate like, do like post divorce and what dating looks like and help him to figure out what he's looking for. And, and I get it's not me, but you know, and then to go find your person, it just, it's like the patterns suck.
[00:18:23] And, you know, I did it to myself. I went down that rabbit hole of like looking at people's profiles and don't do that to yourself. But yeah, I, I don't know where I was going with this story except that I did a little recon this weekend. Didn't make me feel great about myself and.
[00:18:49] But Ted Lasso made me feel better.
[00:18:52] So.
[00:18:55] Yeah, that's. You know, I'm not interested in dating right now or anything like that. So again, my stories might not be super funny yet, but my funny for today is not that funny. But it's.
[00:19:13] I. You guys, I want, I want to do a newsletter. So please go to flirting after 40 and sign up, because I want to be able to send pictures of things that I talk about to followers, students that are followers. So go sign up. I promise it won't be a bunch of like spammy shit.
[00:19:31] But this image was this like 40 something year old man, ripped big dude.
[00:19:40] And he's sitting on a workout bench and he's like leaned over and he's taking a picture of himself in the gym. And his.
[00:19:49] He's got these kind of tight, tight shorts on. Like, they're like begging pattay, I don't know. And you can just see his balls are like resting on the bench and they are enormous.
[00:20:05] And I was like, holy balls. Like, I think it's go you. It's not really funny. But then I was like, is that like the equivalent of like, women with their like, boobs out? Is that like, here are my balls, here are my boobs. Like, is that like, I found it? I was like, whoa. Like, I don't. And I don't know that most women would be like, whoa, I like your big balls.
[00:20:35] Where I think, like, if women had her boobs out, like I said be like, ooh, I like the rock. Like, is it equivalence?
[00:20:43] I don't know. It just got me thinking, so.
[00:20:46] So if you were subscribed to the newsletter, I could send you this picture if you wanted to see the big balls.
[00:20:57] Anyways, I hope you guys have an amazing week and yeah, I will go sign up. Seriously. And I will talk to you guys next week. Bye. Side.
