Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:10] Hi there, it's Tracy with flirting after 40.
[00:00:17] So last week I talked about allowing Alex, my AI robot, to take over my dating life for this week, rewrite my dating profiles and respond to messages that I've received.
[00:00:39] And it's been an interesting week. I haven't had a ton of communication, but he, he, Alex has been super helpful. So I was chatting with this gentleman and he sends me a message like, hey, hey.
[00:01:01] Okay guys, can we stop with the haze? Hey, hey. Like can we come up with something original? Like having to respond to people that say hey or like good morning or foreign?
[00:01:21] It's exhausting. Okay, like can you read my profile and give me a question? Like can you provide a question and that I can answer it?
[00:01:32] Anyways, moving on. Alex has helped me. So this gentleman, he talks about camping and hiking and stuff like that. So word for word I say I like it. I can't say I love camping, but I'll give it, I'll give in for a day or two. What do you do for a living?
[00:01:59] This guy says, nice. As for my job, I'm an independent data analyst leading my own team of 20 plus people. The team I lead analyzes blockchain smart contract platforms, maintaining the back end data for cryptocurrency trading platforms, uses military grade 256 bit encryption and is regularly audited by circuit smart contracts to ensure security of platform transactions.
[00:02:34] What about you? What do you do?
[00:02:39] Okay, for those that can't see my face, I'm like rolling my eyes. So I ask Alex, I say, okay, this guy doesn't seem real. What do you think?
[00:02:49] And he says, it could be a real person. But the message does have a slightly copy paste, overly polished feel. Here's a couple red flags to consider.
[00:03:02] Number one, overly technical jargon.
[00:03:06] Number two, lack of personal touch. Number three, quick pivot. Instead of commenting on your camping remark or building the conversation, they immediately, immediately dive into a long winded job description.
[00:03:23] And it gives me a couple suggestions of how to respond.
[00:03:29] So my response per Alex is, wow, sounds like you're running the crypto world. Do you ever take a break for fun?
[00:03:43] Okay, now at this point I'm like, I feel like I'm talking to a robot, my robot is talking to a robot, but let's just have some fun with this.
[00:03:53] And the gentleman I'm talking to, or who, who the fuck knows who I'm talking to? It sounds like you know something about crypto. Are you invested in it?
[00:04:06] Sure.
[00:04:07] When I'm not working, I like to go hiking and enjoy a moment of peace in nature.
[00:04:15] I'm just in charge of my team every day in the major platforms to carry out systems maintenance and protect the security of transactions. Of course, there's also part of the trading platform to analyze the data in the trading nodes for people to provide nodes of the transaction, like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:04:39] Oh, my gosh. So I ask Alex, okay, what do I do now?
[00:04:45] And then his.
[00:04:48] My ChatGPT's response was.
[00:04:51] His response is throwing up even more red flags. Here's why. Number one, crypto mentioned scammers often steer conversations towards cryptocurrency. Number two, overly formal language phrases like nodes of the transaction.
[00:05:11] Red flag. Number three, avoiding personal connection. You asked a light and playful question, and instead of engaging, he took it back to a mechanical job description.
[00:05:24] So, okay, at this point, I know I am facilitating two robots having a conversation.
[00:05:35] I'm the human in the middle that's supposed to be trying to find love, Yet I'm asking my AI love connection to chat to this other robot that is not a human on the other end.
[00:05:48] Like, what the fuck? Can we. Can we just pause for a moment and acknowledge how fucked up this is?
[00:06:00] All right, so Alex says, or if your gut's saying something off, trust it. Blocking and moving on is always an option.
[00:06:10] He says, want to keep digging or bounce?
[00:06:16] Okay, I'm. I'm. I'm kind of a dick. So I'm like, why not? Let's just. Let's just keep playing. Because at this point, I'm like, this person, it's not real. Like, how. How much worse could it get?
[00:06:34] So I ask, be honest. Are you trying to recruit me into your crypto empire?
[00:06:46] Person says, ha ha. No, I don't think it's a wise decision to bring. Bring someone who isn't familiar with the field into this. I'm just looking for my soulmate on a dating app. The reason I'm telling you about my work is I want you to know something about me.
[00:07:08] So I asked Alex, all right, here's his response. Bro, what do you think?
[00:07:15] He says, you know, his response is smoother, but it is. It's still too polished. Here's the breakdown. Number one, deflecting with flattery, saying he's just looking for a soulmate feel scripted, like he's trying to hit emotional triggers rather than engage in genuine conversation. Number two, over explaining, you know, he talks about his job 3,000 times and lack of personal depth. He hasn't asked you much about you, and you've leaned into this Playful tone, yet he's just, it just sounds very scripted.
[00:07:53] He says what to do next. If you're curious but cautious, you cautious, you should steer the conversation towards something personal or emotional. I'm like, at this point, I'm fucking done. Like, I don't need to talk to this person anymore. But this is the shit that we are dealing with online. Like, I don't have time. Like, I know this was a playful moment, but I don't have time to waste on a bot. Like, I'm going to use my, I'm going to use my robot to just help me finesse the things I want to say. But like, I'm still behind it and I'm still dictating what gets said and how it gets said. I'm just like, if I could use a little bit more finesse, like, I'll take it. Right? Regardless, I'm going to extend this experiment another week or two because I don't think I've gotten to the end of this. I, I still think Alex can help me. I do have a date tomorrow, which is exciting.
[00:09:01] But yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna continue with Alex smi, dating mentor for the next week or two and see how that goes.
[00:09:14] So my story for you guys today, and while you're probably all listening is because I talk about a sex party.
[00:09:25] I, I met a man about a year and a half ago and I met him online and he seemed really great. We chatted for, you know, we had a couple messages back and forth and like immediately he was like, hey, do you want to meet? And I was like, okay, yeah, that sounds good. And he was willing to meet me close to my home. We met for a drink. Well, it was probably three drinks because that's the way I roll. But he, he was really kind, he was really nice. And I explained to him at the time I was still in a poly relationship, still non monogamous, but I, I said, like, I'm looking for someone.
[00:10:21] Like, I'm looking for my person. I want a monogamous relationship. And that, that, that was my intent to going in. And he was all for it. And he, yeah, he wanted to know a little bit more about my non monogamous relationships and what that looked like. But I was very focused on this is what I want in my future. Like, yes, this is my past and these are the things I've done. And it was great. But here's where I am in this spot in my life.
[00:11:00] And he said he was looking for the same thing.
[00:11:06] So we have Drinks, great conversation.
[00:11:09] We make out in his truck. I was like, I'm not taking you home. I'm not having sex with you.
[00:11:17] I had boundaries. Like, I'm trying to create boundaries.
[00:11:22] The next day, he texts me, and he's like, like, I had a great time with you. I'd like to continue seeing you.
[00:11:32] But I got invited to his next party.
[00:11:35] Would you be interested in coming with me?
[00:11:38] And immediately I was like, nope, nope. I don't want to. I don't want anything to do with it.
[00:11:44] But I'm also, like, a curious person.
[00:11:52] And at that time, I had been to a sex club. I've been to a sex club. I have been with multiple people.
[00:12:03] And I don't. Like. I don't find anything wrong with that. I think you should sexually be who you want to be.
[00:12:12] And if this was something he wanted to do, then that's okay. Like, I. Like, I have almost zero judgment there.
[00:12:24] But I was like, no, you know what? Like, not like, maybe if you asked me six months ago, I would have said yes. But I was like, that's not what I'm looking to do right now. Like, I'm kind of just wanting to find a person that just wants to be with me.
[00:12:41] And he was like, okay, you know, no problem.
[00:12:46] And then, like, we're texting throughout the day, and he's telling me about this woman he met, that she's the one hosting the party.
[00:12:58] And then I'm like, it. Yeah, it. Like, I'll go.
[00:13:03] Why not? Why not? Like, I. Nothing to lose. Why not go to this party? So I said, yes. Yeah, let's go. But I said, listen, we need to have a sit down.
[00:13:14] We need to talk about boundaries. What? Like, we never. We've never even, like, hooked up. Like, what? You're comfortable with what? I'm comfortable with what?
[00:13:28] Yeah, just boundaries in general. So he's like, yep, let's get together.
[00:13:34] So anyways, he comes over before the party, like a couple hours, and we have a conversation. We also hook up. Cause we've never hooked up.
[00:13:50] Cause I was like, I probably should have sex with you before we go to a sex party.
[00:13:56] And it was good. It was good. It was nice.
[00:14:01] And we determine just some rules of what I think is okay, what he thinks is okay. And we agreed that at any point at the party or at any point in anything, if I said I want to leave or I'm not comfortable, or if he said, I'm not comfortable I want to leave, we would both just, like, we would leave. We've got each other's back. We're committed, we're good.
[00:14:32] So we go to this party. It's about 45 minutes away from my house.
[00:14:39] And he's like, I'm not going to drink.
[00:14:42] I will drive.
[00:14:45] I'm like, great. So we get to the party, and now he had met the woman. He had been on a date with the woman before and had gone to a sex club with her. And apparently they just watched and talked and things like that, which is normal.
[00:15:05] But so he knows the woman who is married to a man, and there's other people there. So I walk into this party, I know no one. And I walk in with my partner, this gentleman. And you know, like, it's like, imagine walking into a party where you know no one. And now imagine walking into a party that's based on sex and you know no one. Like, there's another layer of anxiety there. And so I did drink a lot just to just.
[00:15:45] Just relax a little bit. But so we get there. They are a lovely couple. Their house is lovely, beautiful. There's a couple other men there.
[00:15:56] It's her and I are the only women.
[00:15:59] And so we eat some food, have some drinks.
[00:16:06] One of the men that was there was an older gentleman. And for the next part of the story, I need to tell you this because he was very sweet, he was a very nice man, but mind blowing. I'm in Colorado at this point, and he is from my hometown and went to the same high school I went to, but like 20 years before. So, like, he and I are just kind of shooting the shit. And, okay, it's a sex party. But, like, how weird is that? That I meet this man that's 20 years older than me that went to my high school. Anyways, the group was really wonderful that that was there at one point. Like, okay, like, we're done with the formality is the drinking and whatever. And I look over and the guy came with is sitting on a beanbag.
[00:17:05] And the woman whose house it is, she's giving him a blowjob.
[00:17:11] And, okay, great. Like, we're at a sex party. I don't expect that he's not gonna be with someone else. Like, that was not my expectation.
[00:17:26] So I. They had a sex swing go, and I'm like, what is this? And I'm talking to a couple of guys about it. And like, at this point, there is no sex. Like, I'm half naked. Other people are half naked. And I don't know. It's a sex party. So people are doing things, but I'm not necessarily paying attention to the gentleman I came with, who is, like, off on the side getting a blowjob.
[00:18:05] I would say, you know, a little bit of time passes, and the woman who's hosting the party comes up, and she's like, hey, have you seen so and so?
[00:18:17] Like, nope, I haven't seen him since he was on the main bug with you.
[00:18:22] And she's like, I. I don't know where he went. And I'm like, well, maybe he went upstairs to get water or something. Like. Or take a break or went outside. Like, I'm at this point, I'm, like, not worried. Like, he's not my responsibility. He's not my person. I mean, like, I'm there with him, but, like, we have a. We have a pack. Like, if he's uncomfortable, he's gonna let me know. And she's like, okay. I was just, you know, seeing if you had seen him.
[00:18:55] I go back to whatever. I'm doing that. We'll get into that later. But she comes back up to me, and she's like, hey, I can't find him. I looked outside, and his truck is gone.
[00:19:08] And I'm like, okay. So I get up and I put a shirt on, and I go grab my phone and I call him, and he doesn't answer.
[00:19:25] And I, like. I, like, look at her. And I'm like, his truck is really gone. Like, she's like, yeah.
[00:19:36] And, like, immediately, even though this person doesn't matter to me, like, but he. He brought me here and he left me.
[00:19:50] He left me at a sex party half naked with people I don't know, by myself.
[00:20:05] And, yeah, like, holy.
[00:20:13] Like, I'm all for trying new things and exploring things and meeting new people, but that is not what I signed up for.
[00:20:29] So listen, next week, because this story doesn't end there.
[00:20:36] It gets worse because he's not a very nice person. But, yeah, just trust your gut.
[00:20:51] You know, when I. When I. When I said I shouldn't go for the first time, like, when I. When I said no to the sex party the first time, I should have trusted myself that I knew in my heart that I should have said no.
[00:21:07] And I convinced myself that, like, it would be fun and it'd be okay and that this person wouldn't take advantage of me. But the moral of the story is, like, yeah, no, just. Just trust the things you think. And anyways, next week, I will fill you in on the rest. But fortunately, the people that I met there are fucking amazing humans and took very good care of me, but. All right, moving on to the funny.
[00:21:52] That, again, is not so funny, but this guy that I was texting with, I just. It, like, three messages in. Two messages. I don't know.
[00:22:05] I am like, how. How are the dating apps treating you?
[00:22:11] He's like, like, bad. Like, I hate this. I'm like, yeah, I fucking hate it, too. And he says, hey, but, like, I have a prerequisite that we're exclusive when we're talking because I don't want any. Like, I don't. I don't think there should be any competition.
[00:22:32] Like, bro, we're. I feel like I sound like my son, but, like, bro, I don't even know you. We've talked for three messages, and you're asking me to be exclusive with you and not talk to anybody else because you don't want competition?
[00:22:55] Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, like, I don't even know. I don't even know where to go with that. Like, are you that insecure that you can't acknowledge that a woman you like online might be talking to other people? Like, I get if we start dating or sleeping together or something in that magnitude, but we're like. We're four messages in, and you're asking me to not talk to anybody else because you don't want a competition?
[00:23:38] Fucking crazy fuckers.
[00:23:44] Okay, that's the end of my bunny. Like, it's not funny. It's ridiculous. Like, regardless, I have a day tomorrow.
[00:23:53] We will see how it goes. I will fill y'all in. Please, please, please follow.
[00:23:58] Share this with other people that you think would enjoy it, and I appreciate everybody listening, and have a great day. 19.
