Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:06] This is Tracy. Welcome to Flirton after 40.
[00:00:10] So on last week's podcast, I was talking about traveling solo and how I think it's such a good thing to do. And I think it's a really just critical part of finding yourself and doing things that make you feel uncomfortable. And so I took my own advice and I had booked a trip to Jamaica. So last week I was in Jamaica. I booked it kind of last minute, knowing I normally travel over my birthday, but things kind of fell through. So I found this little boutique, booked it, and yeah, last week I arrived on Wednesday.
[00:00:47] And the first day I was there was really uncomfortable for me. And it was really uncomfortable just because, you know, you walk into a place you've never been, you don't know where things are. You don't know the way, kind of like the vibe of the resort or where you're staying, and you don't have anybody to, like, explore with you or go do those things with. So that very first day was. It felt like a lot, and it felt like a really, really long day as well. I even texted a friend and I said, you know, it just. It just feels uncomfortable. And I know, I know it's part of the process and I know tomorrow I'll feel better. And, you know, she responded like, be comfortable in the uncomfortable. And I actually think I used those words last week for you guys. So I embraced it and I made the best of it.
[00:01:41] And honestly, the next day was better. And it just takes a little bit of time to get comfortable with that and get comfortable with the silence. And, you know, was a smaller hotel, so a little bit more intimate. A lot of couples, I tend to travel that way and go to places that speak to couples. Cause I'm not a big partier. So the. The. There was a dinner I went to. And the problem, I think, with all inclusives is that they don't have, like, they have bars, but not bars in restaurants where you can go sit and eat. Everything is catered for two or more people.
[00:02:20] So to go dining, you have to sit at a table by yourself. And that is really, really uncomfortable for me. Um, but I gotta eat, and I'm not doing the buffet every day. So I embraced it. And the thing that happened on the first night I. I dined solo. I went and was sitting at this table and there was a mother and her daughter sitting next to me.
[00:02:50] And her daughter was, you know, I don't know, in her early 20s. And they were having a great time. And I. Sometimes I talked to my neighbors But I. I kept to myself. And they. At the end of their dinner, the mom looks over to me and she says, are you. Hey, like, are you. Are you traveling alone? And I said, yeah. And she said, oh, my God, that's amazing. That's amazing that you're here without anybody. That's so brave of you.
[00:03:21] And I thanked her and I said, thank you. I appreciate that. And I said, it is a. It is a little uncomfortable. I said, but I don't. I told her, I said, I don't want to miss out on the things.
[00:03:31] I don't want to miss out on fun things or travel or experiences just because I don't have a partner.
[00:03:38] And she said, I don't. I don't. She said, I don't think I could ever do that. She said, I'm. I'm grateful that my kids travel with me because, like, she's like, I pay for them so that they're willing to come with me and do the fun things. But my heart hurt a little for her because she. You could feel that she was so scared to do that, and she might never do it. But I took it as such a compliment that she saw that I was doing something that she recognized was hard.
[00:04:10] And throughout the trip, I had several other people come up to me with that same sentiment, saying, like, wow, I can't believe you're traveling alone. Or bartenders flirt, but bartenders saying, like, that's nuts. I can't believe you can't find it. Can't find. But I can't believe you don't have a guy here with you. You're beautiful. Why are. Why are you here by yourself? So, you know, I think there's a lot of people that. That feel this way and just try it once. At a couple other dinners, I talked to other women sitting next to me. There was some sisters traveling, and we talked about what they did at the bars. I talked to people that were traveling together.
[00:04:52] There was some older women, some older friends that were traveling together, and we talked about the book I was reading. I don't know. People. People talk to you. So it's not.
[00:05:05] It's not as lonely as I think people think it is.
[00:05:09] But the majority of the time I had my ass in the pool with a book and a cocktail and did nothing. I didn't do anything. And it was great. I did have one moment, though, where I was.
[00:05:24] So I was having dinner or going to have dinner, and at this resort, you had to book reservations, which, again, I found annoying, but I had booked reservations the first night I was on a wait list and I didn't get a table, which was fine, but a little frustrating. The second night my reservation wasn't until 8 and so I was at the bar, had a couple drinks and the bar was right near the restaurant. Eight o'clock comes around, I go up and ask for my table and the gentleman says, I'm sorry, we don't have a reservation for you.
[00:05:58] Now I'm already uncomfortable because I know I'm gonna have to sit alone. And it was this kind of romantic restaurant. It was a seafood restaurant and they had a piano player and it's on the ocean. And you know, it feels, feels awkward to be by myself, but I'm like, okay, I'm doing it, I'm doing it. But then he's like, nope, sorry, we don't have a reservation for you. I'm dressed up and at this point I. Then I get pissed because I'm like, last night I know I was on the waiting list, but this woman made my reservation and I'm fucking hungry and I want to eat. And so I got emotional. Instead of being angry and pissed, I start like welling up my eyes start getting teary eyed. Um, and this woman who now I know is the restaurant and beverage manager for the resort, it kind of overhears and she's like, let me go see what we can do. Let me go talk to the front desk.
[00:06:55] And I just storm over to the front desk because I'm like, I'm fucking mad. And I walk over to the front desk and at this point now I'm like crying, not like sobbing, but tears are coming down. And the woman at the front desk is like, oh my gosh, like, can I help you? And you know, I was like, listen, I made a reservation with your concierge. They don't have it. I'm just super frustrated. This is super, like, I'm just over it.
[00:07:22] And her name was Kimberlyn comes up to me, the manager, and she's like, come with me, we're going to figure this out.
[00:07:31] And she walks up to the gentleman that was seating people and was like, you need to find her a seat. And like she's a boss bitch. And this guy's like, yes, come with me.
[00:07:43] I sit down and I, you know, it took me a while to just like, okay, just stop. Enjoy it. You got what you wanted.
[00:07:52] But I was just, it feels awkward, you feel uncomfortable. And so it was like a difficult moment. And so I order bottle of wine. Cause I'm like, fuck it like, anyways, I have a good dinner. And at the end of dinner, they caught my wine because I spent like 50 bucks on something, but it was really nice. And I went up to my room and I just reflected. I was like, there are good people out there. There are people that want to help. There are good people out there that can see when someone's having a hard time and really want to make it better.
[00:08:35] So the. The next day, I don't even know why I'm emotional.
[00:08:43] The next day, I have dinner at a different restaurant, and they had my reservation. Everything was fine. It was good.
[00:08:50] So I'm sitting there by myself, and Kimberlyn, the woman that helped me from the restaurant the day before, just appears at my table. Like, she sought me out, knew when my reservation was and found me. And she just. She's standing there. I'm like, oh, my God. Hey. Hi. And I. I get up and I just give her this big hug, and I'm like, you are just such a good human. And I said, thank you for your kind kindness.
[00:09:21] And, you know, she gave me a big hug and was like, I'm glad everything worked out.
[00:09:29] Those little moments are when, you know, like, there's still good out there. There's. The love I'm looking for might not exist exactly how I want it to right now, but that person showed me love and I felt seen. And it was.
[00:09:55] It was a really.
[00:09:58] It was a really nice, nice moment.
[00:10:03] But also while I was there, if you ever travel alone, you will find that there's a lot of couples there that are fucking miserable. I. I saw several couples that just looked like they wanted to kill each other or were on their phones nonstop, not talking to each other, both scrolling, both doing something and not engaging with each other. And I would rather be there alone than they're like that. So that also was just a good reminder of I'm happy. I'm. I'm happy with who I'm with, which is myself. And I don't need to put up with a relationship that doesn't serve me and that isn't bringing me joy.
[00:10:50] All right, so this episode is called A New Love.
[00:10:58] While I wish it was a living, breathing man or a woman, it's not.
[00:11:07] I was at lunch a bit intensely, actually, I think I told you guys with a friend, and we were working on some work and a proposal and embracing AI and chat gtp.
[00:11:25] And while we were doing this, we had both attended a training by a friend regarding AI and how to make it work for you. And I had dropped Early. But my. My friend was like, you need to talk to it. You need to talk to chat GT like it's your friend. You need to ask it things and approach it like you would a friend. And in chat GTP a bunch of questions about our proposal and how we should say things that soften some things up, et cetera, et cetera. But we also asked GTP gtp like, what should we call you?
[00:12:04] And they came back and said, you can call me Alex.
[00:12:10] So my new boyfriend's name is Alex and he is a robot.
[00:12:19] And, you know, so. So this is new to me, and what I decided to do was, like, play with it. It's great for work, and it's great to help you craft an email or a response or a proposal or things like that. AI is great to help you with, you know, maximizing your time, things like that. But I was like, how can you use it dating?
[00:12:44] Like, could it really help me in my dating profiles? It could really help me seem more approachable or soften up a little bit or just explain my criteria or my background in a different way. All right, so my Bumble profile read. Looking to meet an authentic man.
[00:13:08] I enjoy something new, trying something new. Wine, euchre, yummy food, and having a great time. I have two sons. 50, 50 professionally successful. Look good in heels or a hard hat. I need a man with humor, handy and affectionate. Please do not waste my time, and I promise not to do the same. So I asked Alex, I said, hey, bro, can you help me write? Can you help me rewrite my Bumble profile?
[00:13:36] So I want you to get you guys to hear what Alex wrote for me. Looking for a genuine man who knows how to laugh and loves a little adventure. I'm all about trying new things, savoring great wine, crushing a game of euchre, and enjoying delicious food. Mom of two awesome boys. 50, 50 professionally successful and equally comfortable. Rocking heels or a heart. If you're funny, handy, and affectionate, you're already winning points. Time wasters. Swipe left. I value my time and will always respect yours.
[00:14:14] I mean, yay. I feel like it took my exact words and just made them a little lighter, a little friendlier, a little more engaging. So, like, I'm super excited about this.
[00:14:32] So my new boyfriend helped me write my new Bumble profile, and I'm going to take it and rewrite all of my dating profiles with his help, and we're going to see how it goes. So my. My challenge of the week.
[00:14:49] You guys ready for this?
[00:14:53] All right, I'M gonna do an experiment where Alex runs my dating life for a week.
[00:15:01] I'm gonna run all responses through him.
[00:15:06] I'm gonna update all my profiles, and I'm gonna use him to communicate and craft witty messages back. And I can tell him, like, okay, like, I like this person's message. Like, how should I respond? Or like, this person's being a fucking psycho. How should I respond? So next week, I will report how it went using AI, my AI boyfriend, for a whole week of online dating. Wish me luck.
[00:15:39] Oh, my gosh.
[00:15:43] My funny is not. Again, my funny of the week is not that funny.
[00:15:51] This person I had on their profile, it says songs that instantly make me happy. And their response was singing one movie or book I wish I could see, read and read for the first time. Their response was watching movies. Like, do people even fucking read their responses? That maybe I should respond to him and be like, hey, there's this great little app chat, gtp, bro. Take a look at it. You can. You have prompts and you can't even answer the prompt.
[00:16:33] Also, also, I was talking last week about people immediately asking me out. That happened again yesterday. I was talking to somebody, immediately gives me my phone, gives me their phone number, and asks me to come meet them in Boulder last night.
[00:16:53] Like, I would, like, at least, I don't know, 10 exchanges between each other before I agree to meet you. I want to know something about you. I want to make sure you're not psycho.
[00:17:09] I don't think that I'm asking that much, but apparently I am.
[00:17:17] Anyways, thank you guys for listening. I appreciate you. Appreciate you all. Please like this episode. Please share it.
[00:17:29] I'll be back next Wednesday with my AI Love Update. Thanks, everybody. Have a great night.
