Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:05] Hi there, it's Tracy. And welcome back to flirting. After 40, no major updates, things are still good.
[00:00:14] You know, when you sometimes feel like they're so. Not, like, so good to be true, but too good to be true, and you just keep waiting for something to happen. Like, I had an instance of that this last week with J. Man, I was afraid that I offended him in something I said.
[00:00:34] And he's just so playful that, like, the next day, via text, he kind of brought it up.
[00:00:45] And I couldn't tell if I had really hurt his feelings or if I was just being sensitive and because the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt somebody's feelings and not be able to take accountability for that.
[00:01:01] But it made me kind of insecure, and I had a moment of, oh, gosh, like, is this going to be.
[00:01:10] Be a thing?
[00:01:12] And, you know, the really healthy thing about it is, you know, via text, he was like, no, like, I'm just messing around with you.
[00:01:22] But that night I saw him and we just hung out for a little while and he. He reassured me. He told me, listen, like, if.
[00:01:34] If I were upset with what you had said yesterday, I would have told you then.
[00:01:40] And if I was upset, I wouldn't poke at you via text. Like, we would have a conversation about it.
[00:01:48] And. And gosh, it's set.
[00:01:54] I feel like such an adult.
[00:01:58] Like, I feel like that is such a appropriate response. And I am really trying to lean into.
[00:02:08] And I am leaning into believing that I'm. I, you know, and I said, I don't know that I could be that forthcoming. Like, if, like, sometimes it takes me a minute. Like, I'll sit on something and I'll realize that I'm upset and I didn't say anything and that I would address it at that point, but I'm sharing it just because I guess, you know, like, evolution of relationships and wow, there are men that actually can take accountability and be direct with their communication.
[00:02:45] Not that he had to take accountability for anything, but, like, if he was upset, I do believe him.
[00:02:52] Fascinating concept.
[00:02:54] I love it.
[00:02:57] So in the last week, we had the passing of Diane Keaton, and it's interesting. I loved her as an actress, and I find her as a human, just very brave, very endearing for her quirkiness and the role she played and the life she made.
[00:03:21] And I don't know a ton about her, but everything I've read or I've seen that she's been in has been fabulous.
[00:03:28] And, you know, I keep notes of, like, things that I think to talk about sometimes. And I had wrote this down months ago, but I love the movie because I said so. And I don't know if you guys have seen it, if you haven't seen it. I definitely recommend it.
[00:03:46] It's a 2007 movie where she is a devoted mother to three daughters, and she inserts herself into her youngest daughter's dating life and she puts out a post.
[00:04:08] I. I believe it was in the.
[00:04:12] I don't know if it was like, in the newspaper or online ad, but, like.
[00:04:17] And shows up and interviews men to date her daughter.
[00:04:23] And she's so overbearing, she, like, picks a man. I won't spoil it for you if you haven't seen it, but she. She picks a man for her daughter, and her daughter ends up meeting somebody else that the mother had already talked to anyways. It's this, I don't know, kind of adorable relationship between the mother and daughter, and the daughter trying to figure out what she wants and the mother allowing the daughter to really choose her own path, you know. And the thing that I think about that is really funny about this movie too, is it's 2007.
[00:05:05] So, you know, the world of dating was a lot different than it is now, and this would never fly. But, like, I love the idea and I've thought about doing this before. I had met J Man of, like, putting something out there, like, if you want to meet me, I'll be at this place from this time. Come say hi.
[00:05:33] And the. In the. You know, the mother and this, you know, Zion Keaton, she gets to meet all these men that want to date her daughter and is kind of horrified by it. And then is.
[00:05:47] Is drawn to someone that is pretty superficial and not the right person. But anyways, it's a fascinating concept.
[00:06:01] And I think, you know, if. If I was still on the market looking, I would absolutely try something like that or I would, like. I. I think that's what made the matchmaking work for me too, is that you kind of have to trust in the process and trust somebody else.
[00:06:19] I don't know, somebody else's perspective.
[00:06:21] So I'm just saddened by the world losing her. And I think it's, I think, you know, really reflecting on how different generations date is. Is fascinating as well. So I was at lunch today and we were talking about different generations.
[00:06:44] And, like, just. This is more like in the workplace.
[00:06:48] Um, I. I identify as Gen X.
[00:06:52] Gen X is 1965 to 1980.
[00:06:56] I'm a 1980s baby.
[00:06:59] You know, I'm on that cusp, I think. I don't know what they call it, but I'm on the cusp of, you know, millennial and Gen X. But I think I identify so much more as Gen X.
[00:07:14] But, like, it got me thinking to, like, how has dating evolved over these generations?
[00:07:22] Okay, so boomers born between 1946 and 1964. These are, you know, our parents.
[00:07:30] You know, they usually. They met people in person through friends, church, work.
[00:07:39] Like, that generation didn't know what ghosting was.
[00:07:44] Like, love letters were a thing, you know? And I mean landlines, but love letters, can you imagine? Like, I think that would be so romantic.
[00:07:57] Unfortunately for baby boomers, they are the fastest growing group that are getting divorced.
[00:08:06] I feel like. I feel like that has to be super hard to have been dating back when you met people in person. Love letters, courtship really existed to being, like, thrown back into the dating world at this age. Like, I'm curious if they are adapting to, like, apps or, like, are they still meeting people at church or at work? I don't know.
[00:08:37] So like I said, I'm like a Gen X. I identify as Gen X65-80.
[00:08:44] It says the original, original latchkey daters.
[00:08:49] Independent and a little cynical. Yeah, that. That sounds about right.
[00:08:55] We were still the pre app era. Met at bars, through friends.
[00:09:01] Remember chat rooms? Like, I remember, like, AOL chat rooms or whatever, where you would talk to people and type. But like, before cell phones, you still had the landline. Like, people would still call you. Like, I remember being in college and, like, having a cell phone for emergency purposes only. Like, you couldn't text or anything. And talking on the phone to a boyfriend in the dorm room, you know, and you'd have all the phone numbers memorized and, you know, like, Star 69. Do you guys remember Star 69 where you'd be like, who called? Who called and hung up? Or like, you would call and block a number. Or people, like, left you a message on an answering machine. Like, I still have a tape and I might have told you guys this. I still have a tape that a boy laugh from an answering machine message. Like, I have a tape of a tape. I taped the tape of the.
[00:10:03] Of the voice or not the voice, now the answering machine so I could listen to the message over and over and over again. How fucking funny is that?
[00:10:17] Apparently, Gen X is also known as the most likely group to get back together with an X.
[00:10:24] H.
[00:10:25] Fascinating. I. I didn't know this. All right, and then we have our millennials. Like, I don't know if there's a lot of millennials listening to this, because you're not 40 or over, but you're close.
[00:10:37] 1981 to 1990, 1996.
[00:10:42] They are the pioneers of online dating texting. I mean, they're the, they're the texters.
[00:10:49] Text texting, you know, was you flirted by text and you rejected people by text. Like, and, and I've done this. I've been responsible for this. I've done this too. But how horrible to get like dumped via text.
[00:11:05] I'm. I'm guilty as charged, but I'm learning.
[00:11:10] Hopefully I'm not dumping anybody anytime soon.
[00:11:16] I love this. They populize situationships and ghosting. So now anytime you get ghosted, you can blame it on millennials, but they apparently are very app fatigued, which I don't blame them. I'm app fatigued and I haven't been on apps all my life.
[00:11:36] And then Gen Z, this is fascinating too. 1997 through 2012, my son, my oldest, is on the cusp of this. He was born in 2012 and I could see this being his future. I mean, he's 13, so like, there's not a lot of dating happening. But, you know, social media is driving all of their communication. Snapchat, chat, TikTok, DMS.
[00:12:08] The thing that I find fascinating about this generation is it says they're being. They're known for being emotionally fluent and open about mental health. That makes me so proud. Like, I, gosh, I wish all generations were. I think that's a really, really positive thing for that generation.
[00:12:31] And a lot of them prefer video dates versus like, as like a pre date to save time.
[00:12:42] Their biggest turnoff, bad communication or. No, Riz.
[00:12:47] Riz is charisma.
[00:12:51] I just, I think it's fascinating that there are like buckets of how people date and how they view relationships based on your generation.
[00:13:03] I don't know if it's all true. It feels pretty true to me, but I just thought it was a cool. You know, we were talking about it like at work. And it's also funny, like, I was at lunch and my friend was saying that she thought I was more millennial.
[00:13:22] And my other friend who is a millennial was saying she thought I was more Gen X.
[00:13:26] So I mean, I think there's a lot of blur in this. And I think, you know, I.
[00:13:32] My growing up dating was very Gen X. And now, you know, dating in this current state of the world is very millennial. And even Gen Z, the idea of a video date first or you Know if there's no Riz, let's cut our losses.
[00:13:56] Yeah. So I, I just, you know, I wanted to share that with you guys. I thought it was. Was pretty, pretty exciting.
[00:14:04] I don't have any big funnies for you except I am watching Love is Blind and for those don't. That don't know what this is. Love is Blind is a show where people meet in a pod. They cannot see each other, so you only get to know somebody by talking to them. You're not supposed to describ your looks, your.
[00:14:30] Yeah. You're not supposed to talk about your appearance.
[00:14:33] It's supposed to remove that bias of, of physical attraction from the equation and get to know each other for what's inside, which I think is a great idea. And truly the seasons before have been, I think, a little bit better. But this season is filmed in Denver and it's.
[00:14:57] It's a shit show. And also like I'm on some dating pages like Denver Dating and things like that where I get a lot of my fun. My funnies from. But you know, people are posting like, oh my gosh. About the show and that know people from the show or things like that. But I, I found this person posted on. There's actually a Facebook page, Love is Blind Season 9.
[00:15:26] And it says after watching Love is Blind Season 9, I completely understand why my colleague in Denver found the love of his life on the dating app the league, which is for like the prestigious. Of the prestigious. But anyways, dating in Denver seems to be trash.
[00:15:44] Yes. Yes. Thank you, world. World is seeing that dating in Denver is trash.
[00:15:51] I'm going to say they're referencing the men more than the women, but some of the women on this show are not the best either.
[00:15:59] It's a fascinating social experiment. I feel like over the seasons it has evolved into more trashy TV than people really trying to find connection. I do believe they apply to this or most of them because they want connection.
[00:16:15] And I, and I really think there is a.
[00:16:18] There's something important and something meaningful about getting to know somebody for who they are and not just for their looks or because, you know, like, looks do change and we all get older at some point. I was joking with J man that I'm glad I've met him now versus in 10 years. I feel like I'm kind of falling apart.
[00:16:44] I think anybody over 40 at times, just like you hurt your back or you, your grays are coming in or I'm fucking menopausal. Like the shit that we are dealing with in our 40s.
[00:16:58] I did tell him. I was like, I'm really glad I met you now versus when I am truly falling apart. I mean, I hope I'm not falling apart when I'm 50, but I don't know. You never know. So met me in my vibrant era.
[00:17:17] Anyways, thank you guys for listening, and obviously, I appreciate you guys so much, and I hope you have an amazing week.
