Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:04] Hi there, it's Tracy. And welcome back to flirting after 40.
[00:00:10] Do you get. This is off cycle. So I didn't record this last week. I had just gotten back from Michigan with my family. My kids went to see my parents and my sister, and it was a good trip. But I.
[00:00:27] We landed Wednesday, and I was supposed to record Wednesday, and I just was so exhausted, I couldn't. And then I was like, I'm gonna record Thursday. And then I was just so, Again, so exhausted, so beat up that I was like, nope.
[00:00:43] And so I was just gonna skip this week.
[00:00:45] But I.
[00:00:49] I don't know. I have this.
[00:00:54] This, like, need to share.
[00:00:57] And it is not about dating.
[00:01:03] It's about life.
[00:01:04] And it's about, like, For me, it's. It's being vulnerable because I.
[00:01:17] I started a business over a year ago called Safe Kept Legacy.
[00:01:26] And I had this idea, and I've talked a little bit about this to you guys, but I don't. I. This is not a sales pitch, just so you know.
[00:01:37] But I started this business. I had this idea that.
[00:01:44] Wouldn't it be great if after our parents or our friends died, that.
[00:01:56] Or after I died, that my kids could have messages from me.
[00:02:03] And it's. It's really. It's kind of a morbid idea. But I. I came and. And this exists, but I didn't know it existed when I came up with this idea. But, you know, like, wouldn't that be amazing that your people could send you messages?
[00:02:28] Like, after they pass, they would be, you know, delivered to you at X times in your life, or you had a message that was, you know, your. Your parent or your friend just telling you how much they love you?
[00:02:50] And, like, wouldn't that be an amazing thing to have when you were having a bad day and you needed that, just reassurance and that encouragement?
[00:03:05] So I created this app.
[00:03:09] It's a website, but it's a tool in which you could record yourselves, yourself, send messages, send pictures and notes, and they could be delivered in the future.
[00:03:20] You could also appoint someone to deliver them for you.
[00:03:24] Anyways, this has failed. This idea, this.
[00:03:28] Everybody says it's a great idea, but I haven't figured out how to market it or make it compelling enough for somebody or. Or to make people trust enough to leave their words with some stranger.
[00:03:50] And this is all fine. Like, I. I was planning. I'm planning on shutting it down because I've also invested a lot of money in it, and it's. It's.
[00:04:02] I'm either on the wrong path or it's not the right time.
[00:04:07] And so the thing I want to share is that there's all these kinds of coincidental things that I feel like the universe is reminding me to keep doing it.
[00:04:29] And I don't think it's doing it in like how I've been.
[00:04:35] But a couple months ago I read a book and, and I can't, I can't remember if I told you guys about this or not, but I read a book, this book made me think of you.
[00:04:48] And it's essentially about this man, husband that dies and his wife is really into books and he arranges to have a book delivered to her every month or she picks up a book, sorry, every month for the next year.
[00:05:15] And it's.
[00:05:19] I won't ruin the story for you guys, but it's such a sweet book and.
[00:05:29] How like we need, we need that kind of like spirit that.
[00:05:42] Like we need that in our lives. And I truly, like, I have this, this need which or need, I don't know, draw to try to figure out how to help people with this.
[00:06:00] And I selfishly did it also because, you know, I have aging parents and I've talked a little bit about my relationships with my parents and with my father. It's not great and my relationship with my kids, but all the things. And you know, I. So I went away this weekend to, or this week to my parents house in Michigan and they, they're selling their boat because they're just unable to maintain it, keep up with it.
[00:06:39] It's become a burden in their life.
[00:06:41] And they, they kept the boat for one more summer for me and my kids, my sister, you know, to have like one last boat day, boat week, whatever.
[00:06:56] And it seems ridiculous that there is, We're talking about a boat, you know, like, and it's not even a boat I give a shit about, but the memories that were created there. And like, how do you keep people. How do I, how do I keep my kids remembering that?
[00:07:27] And an interesting thing happened. We went tubing for those that don't grow up in water. But you like pull a tube on the back of a boat and the kids are in it and they jump around in the waves and they fly around and the goal usually is to like throw them off the tube into the water.
[00:07:54] And you know, my kids have been tubing since they were 4 and 6, you know, every year.
[00:08:02] And, and they love it.
[00:08:06] So we went out for, we, you know what we, we thought maybe is the last tube, but wasn't sure.
[00:08:13] And I was driving the Boat. I never drive the boat. That's a whole different story. But my little one, like, fell off the tube, and, like, they want to fall off the tube. So, like, no, no children were harmed, but he falls off the tube and, you know, stop the boat, start to circle around to get him. My oldest is still, like, holding onto the tube, but he starts to slip off and the tube flips over and he's fine, but he's trying to flip the tube back. And, like, let's say the tube's £20. But when you're in a life jacket in the water, like, flipping something like, that is so hard. And all of it, like, when we left, it was super calm.
[00:08:59] All of a sudden, like, it is, like. I'm not going to say it's a micro burst, but the waves are, like, kind of crazy.
[00:09:07] And he can't get the tube flipped. My little one is still holding onto, like, the string of the tube. My oldest, let's go. And he is floating away. The wind is so strong. The current is strong. I don't even. Like, we've never had anything like this happen. He is floating away, and I'm like, hey, dude, you gotta, like, swim. Swim back to the tube. Swim to the bo. Like. And he's like, I'm trying. And I don't know if he's just being a angsty teenager. And, like, I'm trying, Mom, but I can't do it. And we're yelling, you know, he's in the water, we're yelling, and he, like, keeps just getting further. Like, I. I'll say he was like a football field away.
[00:09:46] And he's like, I'm gonna take off my life jacket so I could swim in. And I'm like, no. Like, you know any. Anybody that has experience in the water? Like, you do not take off your life jacket.
[00:10:01] And he's like, you can. I don't know. Maybe it's a mother's intuition. I can feel the anxiety, like, rising.
[00:10:10] And in all my years, I've never had to put a life jacket on and jump into the water to.
[00:10:16] I'm not gonna. Like, I'm not saving, but to help my children, to save my children, to do anything.
[00:10:23] And my little one has the rope, so I know, like, just hold on to the rope, bud.
[00:10:27] My sister will get you in.
[00:10:30] And my oldest is like, like, floating far away. So I put on my life jacket, I jump in and I swim to him. And at this point, like, there's like, white cat. Like, it's not an ocean, but it Is the largest inland lake in Michigan. And the winds have picked up. There's white caps. It's, like, really choppy. It's pretty scary. I get out to him, and he's like, mom, I swear I was trying to swim, but, like, I. I don't know. I can't get back in.
[00:11:03] And I'm like, okay, like, we got this. And I'm trying to, like, let's try to swim together, like.
[00:11:10] And no matter what we did, like, we could not get any closer to the boat. Like, at one point, I was like, buddy, just like, lay on your back and float. I'll push your legs, and I'll kick.
[00:11:21] And he's like, you're kicking the wrong way. And I'm like, there's only one way to kick. Like, I can't kick backwards when I'm pushing you. So I was like, well, I guess we're gonna just float here until my mom and my sister realize, like, we cannot get back to the boat and they'll come get us. But he's. You know, my son's like, well, what if a boat hits us? And, like, we'll be okay, you know? But there was, you know, this sense of fear in him and probably in my. My sister, my grandma, and my. My other son. And we're out there floating. And, I mean, it is choppy. My. I'm watching my son, my little one. He. My sister somehow gets the tube onto the boat and then drops the ladder. Gets my little one onto the boat. He's okay. So he's okay. Yay.
[00:12:23] And, like, they can't hear us. We're. We're probably two football fields away at this point. Like, there's. You can't communicate with them. And I'm like, they're smart enough. They'll figure out they have to come get us. But my sister tries to drop the anchor, thinking we can swim to them, and I'm, like, trying to, like, wave them off. Like, no.
[00:12:41] Anyways, pull up the anchor. They then drive around to us, and I get my son on the boat, and, like, it was. It was actually, like, really. It was really hard to. To do all this. And I'm, like, exhausted after this. I get on the boat, and we're all okay.
[00:13:04] But, you know, my. My oldest is like, I think I want to. I don't. I think I'm good.
[00:13:10] This was a good last tubing. I think we're good. Yeah, I think we're all good. Like, we don't need to be back in the water.
[00:13:18] And the reason I'm telling this story is because my mom pulls out her phone at this time, and she is being. You should. Being funny and cute, but she's like. She never records things, ever.
[00:13:34] And records the. The five of us in the boat telling our story of the reenactment of what just happened.
[00:13:45] And we're all high spirits. It's all good. It's funny. It's silly, but it's. It was our last.
[00:13:52] It was our last time on the boat.
[00:13:57] And then they're selling it. They sold it two days later.
[00:14:01] And my mom recorded this. This silly, funny thing of all of us together.
[00:14:10] And, like, we all deserve more of those memories. And where do you store them and how do you make sure everybody has them?
[00:14:21] And, you know, I'm emotional because I don't have a great relationship with my dad. And these are the things that I want my kids to remember. I want them to remember that, like, their house, time on the lake, time with their grandparents.
[00:14:40] And I think that's originally why I created what I did.
[00:14:46] But it's funny. So I read the book, which I thought was amazing. You should read it.
[00:14:53] And in my head, I'm like, I'm.
[00:14:56] I'm shutting this down because it's not working. And I am working on other avenues for it, but I'm also there and at my parents, and they're talking about.
[00:15:12] Well, they've been talking about maybe selling the house. Their. Their house.
[00:15:19] And I hate that idea because to me, Michigan is home. Even though it's not where I grew up.
[00:15:28] We've been coming there for the last 14 years, 13 years.
[00:15:34] It's where my kids.
[00:15:36] Summers have been.
[00:15:37] It's where I have memories of them that I can go back to and relive those memories. It's where I feel a sense of calm.
[00:15:48] And so they've been talking about selling or they're thinking about maybe selling it.
[00:15:52] And my sister and I have talked a little bit, and she's like, I don't want to buy it, but I want to buy it because I.
[00:16:03] It's not because I want the house, but I want the place that has the memories.
[00:16:12] I want the place that my kids can bring their friends, my kids can bring their partners if they have kids, that they can bring their kids and they can have the memories. That's what I want.
[00:16:27] And so there's all these.
[00:16:31] I feel like these, like, whispers of this concept around this to me.
[00:16:42] And then today I.
[00:16:47] I'm exhausted. It's Saturday.
[00:16:51] I was like, I'm gonna watch. I Want to watch a movie? And I just got on Netflix and there's a movie called Voicemails for Isabel.
[00:17:02] And I was like, oh, that looks cute. And I'm really bad with, like, actresses. Like, who's in it? But she's adorable. I can't remember her name. I love her.
[00:17:13] And this movie is about love, but it's. It's about a sister that loses her sister and she sends voicemails to her sister's phone number.
[00:17:29] And again, I won't ruin the movie for you guys, but it's the same concept of, like, holding on to the memories, but it's. This is also paired with, like, a love story.
[00:17:45] And I just feel like there. It's like the universe, like, nudging me. Like, and I know you guys are probably like, you're bad. Like, this sounds insane, Tracy. Like, and we all can make things make sense in our lives, but, like, for some reason, I swear this feels different.
[00:18:11] And the movie, like, it's the kind of love I watch. It's this.
[00:18:21] The love that you feel in your soul, like, and the signs that are there. Like, that's the love I want. But this movie was also just about how important our voices are and our memories are.
[00:18:45] I don't know, I just felt like, compelled to share the story with you guys and, like, share it out in the world. Because I also believe when you say it out loud, when you put it out there, like, that's.
[00:19:06] You're. You're. You're planting the seeds, you're willing it.
[00:19:10] And. And I know, like, what I'm doing with safe kept legacy, what I've created is not what it will become.
[00:19:20] But I don't know, I feel like the world is telling us things.
[00:19:25] And I know this podcast isn't about dating or being over 40. Well, I guess it is because it's.
[00:19:36] We're dealing with our own mortality, with our parents aging, with.
[00:19:42] I don't know. And how do we preserve those memories? How do we.
[00:19:47] How do we show up when we can't show up?
[00:19:52] I don't know. And like, for me, part of me wanting to buy my parents place is for when they're not there and I can feel close to them.
[00:20:11] So I don't know. I don't know if I. Like, I believe that what we put out and what we will and what we focus on will take on its own journey.
[00:20:32] And so I guess maybe that's what I'm doing here is I tell you guys, like, by. By talking, I find peace and I found clarity.
[00:20:45] And so you are now subject to me doing that with you.
[00:20:54] I do it more, like on the dating front, but not today.
[00:21:00] And I don't have any funnies to share because not today.
[00:21:07] So, I don't know. Think about it. Like, how will you share your legacy?
[00:21:16] I'd love to hear about it. Because there's something in me and there's something in the world right now that is forcing me to try to help figure this out or help others or myself or my parents.
[00:21:35] And, yeah, so thank you for listening to me ramble.
[00:21:46] And. And I hope whatever you have that inspires you or that you think about or that the world is nudging you along to or whispering to you, you listen.
[00:22:00] Because I really do think that's.
[00:22:03] It's a. It's a really important piece as well. So.
[00:22:08] All right. Sorry that I didn't record on Wednesday and Happy Saturday, Sunday, probably when this launches. But, yeah, thank you guys for giving me the space to say the things I need to say.
[00:22:23] All right, I will talk to you next week.
